starry_eyed

So the disclosure handouts and the hsv blog both make it clear that the chance for tramsmission if ur aware of ur status are very low 1-2% for female to male, so i wanted to know if ppl here have been successful with not spreading it to their partners

So when im back in country for ten days i want to get a blood test to see which type i have. My insurance is kaiser and they offer what they callthe AB test which sees if u have antibodies, it doesnt do type specific testing. My local planned parenthood offers type 2 blood testing for $75. And theres various testing outlets that offer the igg that cost $150 which i cant afford. Should i just go for the latter option since i wont be able to test again until june 2014? Or is it still to early cause i was diagnosed feb 24 and would be getting tested june 10. In the savage love podcast they say that a certain percentage by 12 have antibodies to hsv-2. What does that mean? Thst theyve been exposed to the virus and developed an immune response? If i have a consult w a primary doctor and explain my symptoms will i be able to get a valtrex subscription? Or does she need positive herpes test results for that to happen? Thanks all

so I was visually diagnosed with herpes at the end of Feb this year after suffering for three weeks. I was also diagnosed with chlamydia and or gonorrhea. Go me! Anyways the relationship I was in at the beginning of my herpes outbreak has ended and I'm now dating someone new. Before my diagnosis, I called myself an "accidental slut." I was very promiscuous but never intentionally seeking it out. It's very hard for me to say no and the times I've really tried have been really traumatic, like the men get pretty angry/violent. So saying no or being faced with unwanted encounters are pretty triggering for me and exceptionally hard to do. Sex was always something that kind of just happened to me. I've experienced a broad array of negative sexual encounters, from non-consensual to very coercive and a year and a half ago in DC I was attacked at night and raped at knife point by a guy wearing a zombie mask. Needless to say that was a bit traumatic and since that night sex lost any last vestige of emotion for me and whenever I had it I always felt numb and disassociated and found myself sleeping around more than ever, and I wasn't able to form any kind of deep connection with someone. I've always tended to sleep with people right away. Occasionally I would stop and think hey I'm still disease free and I've been with x number of people, I should really stop now while I'm lucky but never did. After my diagnosis I realized that I never had enough of a reason to resist sexual encounters. It was always easier to pick up the pieces of myself afterwards than say no. I wish it didn't have to come to this, but it is what it is. So flash forward to the present and a couple weeks ago I found myself with a guy and we had each had 18 shots of tequila and we ended up sleeping next to each other and in the morning he was asking me for sex and I gave a firm no and he accepted that. The same thing happened the next two nights and then I didn't see him for another week and when he came over I said I didn't want to sleep with him bc I was on my period (convenient excuse) and he said "I didn't come here to have sex with you I came here because I wanted to spend time with you." He's glad that we didn't sleep together those first couple of nights and yesterday he had a whole convo about how he's completely over having meaningless sex that he just can't do it anymore (Ive reached the same place). So we're really building intimacy from the ground up which is honestly something I've never experienced before and to tell you the truth its AMAZING. Bleh so I've been squirming around on the disclosure issue. I was talking to my sister about this and intimacy in general and in her opinion its best to wait 2-3 months before you sleep with someone so you can build up enough intimacy with them which sounds totally crazy to me but she said to at least commit to a timeframe of at least 6 weeks (before sleeping with them) so I don't get lost in the moment before then. so in short herpes is the thing that finally put the brakes on my unhealthy sexual behavior and has caused me to slow down and really consider someone before just jumping into bed with them with the result that I'm totally starting from scratch, with this TRUE intimacy thing I have going on with this guy right now. I've never done this before, do any of you have advice for me?

tbh I'm not sure exactly WHO gave me herpes. I was with a guy (unprotected) last day in Jan and the next day I had what felt like a severe UTI. this abated a bit and a week later I was with someone else and I started visiting the doctor on Feb 12 who gave me meds for a UTI and then the next week I had awful internal itching and I kept getting misdiagnosed and then when I went to the capital city (I'm living abroad right now) I went to an esteemed clinic there and the doctor took one look at me and told me I had herpes and gonorrhea and/or chlamydia. She said my cervix was completely inflamed and I had a lot of yellow discharge and I was covered in sores. It was just a visual exam, there aren't any tests for Herpes in this country and she said the sores couldn't be anything els, nothing else causes them. Soooo I went back to partner #1 and told him and he went to go get tested and he came back negative for everything except for syphilis, which I tested negative. He swears hes never had any herpes like symptoms, and partner #2 (who I ended up sleeping with during what turned out to be the beginning of my outbreak before it got way too painful to do anything down there and ended up dating for a couple months) hasn't gotten any symptoms. So based on that I feel like its pretty probably that partner #2 gave it to me because if I was with him in the burning itching stages thats when I'm most contagious yeah? So if he didn't have it already he would have gotten it my now (so goes my thinking) but since there haven't been any symptoms he's either a fluke case or already had it and didnt know it. This is still hard for me to believe though because partner #1 has been very promiscuous and partner #3 has been with 3 women (including me).

Hi everyone i was diagnosed w genital herpes at the end of feb. i met someone this weekend and we spent three nights cuddling and he wanted to have sex with me which i declined. Sooo its time to disclose. Its a monday i wont see him until thurs or fri night should i wait to have the talk until i see him or should i tell him over the phone? Does it not matter? Im worried but if he doesnt want to date me im sure well still be friends so i shouldnt be too nervous. Also im confused about recurrent outbreaks. What are they like? Do u form blisters? Or is it much more mild?