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lulu19

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Everything posted by lulu19

  1. Hey shn! I literally just had a HSV- friend complain to me that she hasn't had sex in 2 weeks and i wanted to scream lol so i can definitely relate to the negative feelings you're experiencing. I'm probably not the best to give advice because I'm still getting through it, but i think the biggest thing that has helped is doing research and understanding just how minuscule the chances of transmission are. I also read a lot of Ella Dawson's blog posts which made me feel a bit more positive about everything.(https://ellacydawson.wordpress.com). Feel free to message me if you ever want to vent :) Hugs!
  2. I was diagnosed with GHSV1 about 1.5 years ago and have not had an outbreak since. I took valtrex daily for a short period of time when I had a consistent sexual partner, but since then, I have stopped taking it because my doctor warned me that it can have negative effects on the liver with long term daily use. Has anyone else heard this? I feel like taking it regularly would give me a little more peace of mind because it would lower my transmission rate, but since I have not have an outbreak since diagnosis, I am concerned about taking medication that might not be necessary.
  3. @Dave I saw that episode on TV! His explanation is so great, he does a great job of minimizing the stimga :)
  4. Ella Dawson just shared this film on Facebook and it instantly made me cry, really moving stuff! I hope I find someone like the man in this video one day!
  5. Hey @tnicole ! I'm a 21 yr old college senior who was diagnosed with GHSV1 a little over a year ago. I recently wrote a post really similar to this one because I am experiencing similar problems. I agree that boys our age really aren't mature enough to even take the time to research how minuscule the transmission rate is...I've always felt like they just figure they can easily find someone else who doesn't have herpes so they don't see the point in continuing with me. Please feel free to message me, could be nice to be able to vent to each other :)
  6. @IWillSurvive Hi! Im sorry if my post made it seem like I was saying only males aren't willing to take the risk, I think I just wrote it that way because I'm not disclosing to females so I haven't seen that perspective. You are definitely right about the vibe about hooking up/getting to know better, some guys are very sneaky though haha. I recently had this boy talking to me for months before we even hooked up and then once I disclosed to him (after we had been friendly for about 4 months) he slowly started backing off, and now he doesn't really talk to me at all. I haven't given up though! There has to be someone out there who won't see it as a deal breaker! Thanks for your comment :)
  7. @lulu19 My experience has been that most of the regular dating dynamics remain the same, just a minority of people may opt out due to HSV. So some people will only want hookups, some will want something casual and ongoing, some will want something more serious, just like you experienced before genital herpes. And it isn't like those who opt out are those who are the most attractive or desirable. As far as I can tell, there seems to be no correlation in that regard. Perhaps those who opt out are typically more risk averse than others, but that's the only commonality I've noticed so far. As for hotness, @hippyherpy, I think if the person was attracted before they knew about the HSV, they will most likely remain attracted after they learn of the HSV, regardless of what might be considered traditional hotness. My own experience has been that the attractiveness of my partners has not changed since diagnosis. Only my own physical attractiveness has started to wane, but not because of HSV, just Father Time. :) Hi Optimist! I'm glad to hear you've had such good experiences with dating--definitely makes me feel better about my future! I'm definitely hoping that once I'm out of the college setting I will meet guys who are less interested in meaningless sex and will take the time to get to know me as a person and figure out that herpes really does not define me! Thanks for the optimism :)
  8. My first thought after reading your post was that you'd probably like Ella Dawson. (At least you may find her situation a little similar). https://ellacydawson.wordpress.com/herpes/ Check it out while you're waiting, I'm sure someone will come along shortly that is in the same boat. Hey MMissouri! I love Ella! She has definitely helped me alot with feeling better about myself! :) Thanks for sharing!
  9. Ditto what was said above and I might add that H doesn't come with commitment at all. You basically disclose and the relationship goes where it goes. I would suggest that you always suggest condom use. You need to really look around here and educate yourself. Ghv1 isn't as contagious as hvs2 because you will she'd less and likely you won't have many ob's. Just take precautions. You've already got your disclosure down pat. Hey Katidid! I've definitely done my fair share of research, and while I completely understand how minimal the transmission rate is, a lot of kids I've spoken to have been misinformed. It really all stems from this stupid stigma that exists about herpes being disgusting. I just wish my peers were more knowledgable about the virus.
  10. lulu19, to put things in perspective...you do know you can get HSV from kissing someone right? Everyone always talks about sex and Herpes, but rarely about kissing and Herpes. No one ever thinks about asking someone before they kiss them, if they have been tested for HSV and why would they? In the big picture HSV is nothing more than a skin condition that most people have little or no symptoms. Society has let the drug companies and media make this into something worse than it is. Hey Dave! It is so unfortunate that so many people have been taught that herpes is disgusting. I remember being in sex ed (only like 5 years ago) and they're still showing those graphic images of herpes to try to scare kids. There definitely needs to be a reform in the way sex ed is taught because the whole scare tactic and abstinence approach is so over exaggerated and unrealistic. It's sad that people who are diagnosed have to suffer from the stigma that it produces.
  11. If you are hot, then a herpes disclosure isn't going to stop most guys from plowing you. I had two girls disclose to me before I got herpes and I went with it. This isn't the1980s. Herpes really isn't a big deal and almost everyone has it. Even more people have HPV, so that's pretty much the entire population of humans who has some some STD unless you are a nun, and I'm pretty sure the nuns get it on sometimes too ;) @hippyherpy hahaha this made me laugh. You are so right, it really is not a big deal at all, its just sad that a lot of people have been taught that it's like the worst thing that can ever happen to you! Thanks for your comment :)
  12. Hi! I'm new here and am desperately seeking people who are/have been in my situation. I was diagnosed a year ago during my junior year of college. I'm pretty sure I contracted it from the boy I was dating at the time who frequently broke out in cold sores on his mouth. Even though we refrained from everything when he had a sore, I still managed to contract GHSV1. We broke up shortly after I was diagnosed for unrelated reasons. Since then I have disclosed to 3 other guys. The first was more successful than I could have ever imagined, and we ended up having sex right after I told him. He lives overseas so unfortunately, when I had to return to the US, I was unable to continue that relationship. The next disclosure happened when I was drunk with a guy I had been hooking up with for a few weeks (really horrible idea, I do not recommend disclosing while drunk). I texted him the next day apologizing for telling him while drunk and I got a very brief response saying that he wouldn't tell anyone about my diagnosis. He hasn't talked to me since. The final disclosure happened about a week ago and he was extremely kind about it, but I feel like he has definitely distanced himself from me as a result. I joined this group because I have been feeling very hopeless recently. I feel like my generation puts way to much emphasis on sex..Especially in college, it seems like a majority of guys are looking for casual hook ups. I also feel like having sex with someone with herpes comes with some type of commitment, and I don't think guys my age are ready to take the risk. Are there any current college students or recent graduates who have experienced this? Any advice would be much appreciated!! :)
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