Ava_

The exact same thing happened with my diagnosis, like to a T. I decided to tell my ex, even though I was suspicious that he gave it to me as well. The thing that drove me to tell him is thinking of his future partners he might be putting at risk without knowing, as well as my own peace of mind. If I hadn't told him, I feel like it always would've been in the back of my mind. He was defensive at first but after a month or so of space (and once he got tested and found out he has it) we actually lean on each other for support now and he's more of a resource for dealing with hsv. As far as the friend group thing, I feel like there's a low chance she's going to run and tell, because by discussing it she's also admitting that she's been exposed to herpes and most people want to stay as far away from The topic of hsv as possible. I totally understand that feeling though, I'm pretty newly diagnosed myself and it's hard enough figuring out how to deal with this privately let alone possibly having to justify and explain hsv to other people.

I've had what I thought was an outbreak for almost two weeks now. It's just a single red bump, raised slightly and sensitive to the touch. I immediately doubled up suppressive therapy dose and took l-lysine daily, but it's had no effect? The size went down at first but then kind of went back up? There's a tiny dent in the center of the bump?? Is this an outbreak? It doesn't look like any pictures I've come across in my google frenzy, but I read that outbreaks can be atypical. Do any of you experience atypical lesions and how do you know what if is for sure?

@neergmas I disclosed to one casual partner and it went very well. During a moment when we were hanging out cuddling I told him I have someone to tell him, that I have hsv2. I explained that I'm on anti virals, and threw out a few statistics about how low transmission rates are with anti virals and condoms. The study on valtrex that found no cases of transmission between couples who were on valtrex and always used condoms was one I really emphasized. Also, transmission rates are lower female to male so I threw that in too. I asked him if he had any questions and He had a lot to ask about how it made me feel emotionally more than any physical effects. It ended up being a bonding point actually. I also sleep with women too, and have had trouble finding info on how to protect from female to female transmission. If you find any info on that I'd love To hear it. xx

Based on my doctor's advice and research, hsv2 is very very rarely transmitted orally, there's a super minute chance. That could be a good point to mention if disclosing when oral's on the table.

@needhope_ I have hsv 2, and just had my first outbreak due to stress. It was mild and I'm on suppressive therapy so doubling up on my prescription, epsom salt baths, lysine, and tea trea oil all helped. I hope your outbreak wasn't too severe are you using any kind of treatment? @geminij thank you for your solidarity..it's a comfort to know I'm not alone in this.

To any users and contributors to this website thank you so much for sharing your experiences and wisdom, this space has been a huge resource for me. I'm a 22 year old young woman, and I was diagnosed with herpes about three months ago...and it's been really difficult for me to practice self love since then. It's like experiencing extreme heartbreak over losing a part of myself that I valued. I immediately went on suppressive therapy even though I've never had an outbreak just To get some peace of mind. I also called my ex, who I broke up with a month before my diagnosis. He and I had been having unprotected sex for over two years, so there was no doubt in my mind that he probably had it too. He took it very well and we remain friends and support each other. When I'm alone with my thoughts and feelings, I can get to a place where I feel calm and confident, like hey, I can deal with this. It's really a simple Manageable skin condition. But as soon as I imagine disclosing to someone my heart rate goes up and I feel sick to my stomach. I've been researching endlessly about transmission rates so I can be prepared to help future partners feel calm about it like I do when I'm being reasonable. But I fear so much the societal stigma, how can I change someone's mind about herpes after they've experienced years of miseducation? Honestly if someone disclosed to me and I didn't have Hsv2 I would be very hesitant to have sex with them afterwards even if they were on suppressive therapy and we used condoms. How can I expect understanding from other people that I probably wouldn't give? So while all these emotions are happening, along comes a guy who I am very interested in. We have great chemistry, can spend hours together, similar interests...we've been seeing each other for a month now. And..we've had sex several times. Once without protection. And I haven't disclosed. It's eating me alive. I'm spending time with him, I forget about H, and then we have sex, and immediately after I feel sick and anxious. It's like I'm trying to feel normal and uninfected, but all this behavior does is push me further away from love and closer to denial and self hatred for being so reckless. I'm so lost..I know I have to talk with him. The mere thought makes me physically ill and my heart race. I feel like a terrible person and he has every right to walk away from me and hate me but I want so much for him to be understanding. Any insight or personal experience about ANY of this would be so appreciated, I feel so alone and torn apart.