tnicole

I was diagnosed with GHSV1 about 7 months ago. I ended things with the guy who I was with at the time (for reasons not related to HSV) and I have had difficulty coming to terms since. I am a sophomore in college and find it difficult due to the emphasis on casual sex and hookup culture. I am not into that; however, it makes things difficult when it comes to disclosing. I have recently been seeing a guy casually and am afraid that he will eventually want to turn it into a relationship. I am terrified to let him know about my HSV because I feel like any college guy near my age is not ready for that kind of commitment. I am a very confident and open person yet I feel so vulnerable when it comes to my HSV. How can I disclose it to him in a way that proves that it is the stigma around HSV that makes it seem so terrifying? I fear rejection, especially because he is friends with a lot of my friends and I do not want them finding out the reason why.

Hi, I was recently diagnosed with HSV1 in the genital area. I had my primary outbreak 4 months ago and have not had one since. I was told that because I have HSV1 in my genitals my outbreaks will occur less frequently. I was recently shaving and felt a ball-like lump in my southern region. I can barely see it and the color blends in with my skin. I have not had an outbreak since so I was wondering if this is something that could be a potential outbreak or something else? Thank you!

Hi, I was recently diagnosed with genital HSV 1 about three months ago. I am a college student and was diagnosed after losing my virginity. I have had oral sex with two people, including the boy I lost my virginity to. I called the one I had been seeing to let him know that I had symptoms for herpes and that I was getting tested. He had recently been tested for STDs and said he was clear, but I know that most STD full panels do not suggest herpes testing. When I told him that I had symptoms, his only response was "Well I'm sorry if I was the one who gave it to you" and proceeded along as if it was no big deal. We are no longer in contact due to other issues; however, should I contact him again to tell him my results are indeed positive? At the time, I told him that the doctor had diagnosed me right there but just wanted to get a culture for confirmation purposes.

@hikinggirl thank you so much. It means a lot!

Hi all, I'm currently a sophomore in college and have genital HSV 1. I was diagnosed about three months ago after losing my virginity. I have had sexual intercourse once, but I have had two guys perform oral sex on me, which I am assuming is the way in which I caught herpes. I attend a large university where relationships are not common. My school is fairly selective and as a result, students are extremely focused on future careers rather than dating. Because of this, the hook up culture is disgustingly prominent. I am currently seeing a guy who I have been friends with for over a year; however, we are not official. I know that I am not herpes and that I have a lot more positive qualities that are just as important in a relationship as sex, but I'm terrified that college boys are too immature to handle this and I will be rejected immediately. I know there is not an exact way or time to disclose a herpes diagnosis to someone, but I was wondering if anyone had advice on how to disclose my diagnosis for now and in the future? Thank you so much!

Rarely do you hear someone say "Herpes made me realize my life-calling". As a 19 year old college student, I was diagnosed with genital HSV 1 three months ago. I have had two boys perform oral sex on me, one of which is the boy I lost my virginity to. I had my primary outbreak nearly two weeks after I lost my virginity - great introduction to sex, right? I won't lie, I always thought girls like me were immune to sexually transmitted infections, partly blaming the abysmal sexual education I received growing up and the overall fact that I (shamefully) thought STI's only happened to promiscuous people. Little did I know, I would be joining the infamous H-club. While I have had oral sex a few times, the way in which I caught HSV 1, I have only had sexual intercourse once in my life. Days after I lost my virginity, I was incredibly sore, much to what I expected. It hurt when I urinated and it was difficult to sit without feeling uncomfortable. I had been suffering from a 102 degree fever, night sweats, fatigue, and an absolutely horrible cough. Two weeks went by and the pain in my genitals became unbearable. I also noticed a tiny spot that looked like a canker sore, in which like any self-respecting millennial, I immediately went to google and started researching. The next day, I went to the walk-in university clinic on campus and that is when my journey with genital HSV 1 began. I hadn't even been with the nurse practitioner for 10 minutes and she already knew I had herpes just by looking. She performed a culture to test which strand it was and to confirm that it was indeed herpes. However, she also said that I had the symptoms for mono (which I later tested positive for) and that sometimes the virus that causes mono forms lesions in the genital area for young women. Even though she told me mono potentially was causing the lesions, I knew deep down that I had herpes. My world immediately came crashing down. As a future healthcare provider, I felt hypocritical. As a student, I felt uneducated (on the topic of herpes). Worst of all, as a female, I felt UNWORTHY and DIRTY. I felt that no one man would ever want me and I would live a lonely, depressing life. I let myself grieve for a couple weeks, but I knew I could not go on with a life like this. As a result, I poured myself into finding out as much information as I could about herpes, other STI's, STI stigmas, and even more broadly, women's reproductive health. And guess what? I found out that I LOVE learning about the female reproduction system. To the point that after I finish my undergrad and graduate school, I would like to specialize in women's health. I by no means am proud of my herpes or am trying to make it sound as if it is insignificant. My herpes journey has not been easy - it has been full of tears, all-nighters ruminating through my thoughts, and trying to persuade myself that I am undeserving of a happy, fulfilling life; however, I have always believed that the world works in mysterious ways and, as cliche as it sounds, everything happens for a reason. Yes, herpes sucks and as a young girl who is in the prime of dating, it sucks even more, but I will not let herpes define me. And while I have yet had to tell any potential future partners about my status, I am optimistic that the right boy will love me for who I am, herpes and all. So to anyone else who has recently been diagnosed or has been diagnosed for years and is still suffering, I believe in you and support you. Rather than persuading yourself, "I am herpes", think of all the other wonderful qualities you possess that outshine such a small part of your life that herpes possesses: "I am beautiful", "I am intelligent", "I am compassionate". Bombard your brain with herpes information and educate yourself (DO NOT believe everything on the internet) because that is the first step to being able to educate others. And lastly, try to learn to love yourself again. You are just as worthy as any other person living on this planet even though you have herpes. Who knows, you may even be like me and find your life-calling of diagnosing and educating others on female reproductive health.