I certainly can't advice you and I will not judge you. You are going to experience a lot of guilty, shame, disbelief , hurt.. just to name a few. It's compounded by your circumstances. However, over time, those emotions will subsidize if you just recognize that you are not defined by your mistakes. And that there is more that you have to offer to this thing called life. Read the disclosure materials and educate yourself so you know how to tell your partner . God be with you