You're absolutely right, it sucks a whole f***ing lot. I'm struggling too. I agree with previous comments about finding a therapist to help you work through the complex, layered emotions you have over this. I have so much regret, resentment, anger, bitterness surrounding not just the physical pain but also the nature by which I was infected (sexual assault). Unfortunately this is incurable and it's awful. So, our choice is to be angry, or to not be angry. This is your life, and you get to make the decision. I honestly go back and forth between despair and hope. I keep trying to be supportive to myself and tell myself it will be ok. If I'm thinking about how awful it is to have herpes, I try to counter that thought with a supportive/positive thought. That's the best advice I can give.