Shootingstar5

I keep telling myself that its not the world you live in but the way you look at it that determines happiness. And i will be honest, changing the people i let into my life has REALLY helped me be happier and wiser. But Im still frustrated with this generations egocentricism and lack of commitment when it comes to relationships. I used to have casual hookups once in a while, but as soon as I contracted H I stopped. I realized how upset I am with modern dating culture. Ive been rejected twice now since contracting it 10 months ago from an ex that lied to me about his status then left me. After that, the first time I was rejected in a relationship bc of H he said he was a germophobe, which didn’t seem like the truth because he was very unkempt and his apartment was always dirty. The second relationship, he said he was okay with it and wanted to continue our relationship, then we had sex. Four days later ghosted me and didn’t talk to me again except to say that we rushed into things too quickly. Im a 22 year old senior in college and I usually only date men about 3-5 years older than me in order to stay out off the college scene. I usually blame it on maturity, but now I’m developing trust issues. I don’t want to become part of the noncommittal problem I hate so much, but given my history (contraction and in dating) I have no hope for successful disclosures. Even after I educate them about the facts and open up to them, they still lie to me about why they want to break up OR they simply stop talking to me altogether, and I can’t help but take that personally. They don’t see past the disease and I become objectified as part of it. Once is tough but multiple rejections really takes a toll. I don’t want to close myself off to people but I don’t want to be constantly rejected or "prude" (which I've been called many times) when they wonder why I won’t have sex with them. Any words of wisdom for a lady that has had NO success so far? l feel like its a constant battle between making the logical choice or making the emotional choice, and logic usually wins.

Hi, I sincerely thank you for sharing because I'm in the same situation. I am about to disclose to my partner, who I've also been dating and slept with, I went to get tested and found out I was positive. He's a very genuine and caring guy, but I'm nervous he will feel betrayed. We are also in our mid-20s so I'm concerned age maturity plays a factor.