Peggy

I have been to Adrial's seminars, phone coaching, watched videos etc. This article changed everything for me. I am here if you need a friend.

The H Opportunity Here's the secret ... First things first: Stop beating yourself up! Just stop it! (Trust me on this.) You don’t deserve any of that self-abuse! Beating yourself up for something that happened in the past doesn’t change what you can’t change and it isn’t part of the healing process — it’s part of the re-injuring process. What good does it do to feel ashamed and guilty? Feel the genuine feelings if they naturally come up. Sure, feel sad. Feel angry. Feel confused. Let those run through your body (e-motion = “energy in motion” — let it move in a healthy way if you feel it!) But don’t shame yourself. Don’t guilt yourself into feeling even worse. You can’t change the past, but you can learn something about yourself from it. True healing happens when you can stop shaming yourself and start accepting yourself. When you accept yourself, you are loving yourself. They go hand in hand. As Buddha says (I’m not a Buddhist, per se, but the guy makes some great points!): Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. Pain happens in the body. Suffering happens in the mind — when you run your painful memories and beliefs through the mousewheel of your mind. If you allow pain to be felt and let it go, then it doesn’t reappear in the same form that it came in. But it does reappear if you keep putting yourself through it over and over again. And how often do we allow our minds to take over and replay all the horrible memories from our past? Do you know that in brain imaging studies that the brain knows no difference between feeling actual pain in the body and a memory of that pain? Every time we use our mind to remember something painful from our past, we might as well be going through it all over again as far as our minds are concerned. There are stages to this healing process that you currently find yourself in. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross developed the 5 stages of grieving, but let’s think of them as stages of healing instead, shall we? Where are you in this process of healing? 1) Denial · “I don’t really have H. The blood test was wrong.” · [after an initial H occurrence] “That was just razor burn.” 2) Anger · “Why was I such an idiot to have s*x with him/her?” · “I hate the person who gave this to me. I want him/her to pay for doing this to me.” 3) Bargaining · “You know, a cure for H must be right around the corner by now. Medicine is advancing in leaps and bounds.” · [talking to a higher power] “I promise if I don’t actually have H that I won’t make whoopie with anyone EVER again.” 4) Depression · “I give up. I’ll never find anyone to love me. I’m dirty. There’s no hope. Since herpes is for life, then I’ll be sad for life.” 5) Acceptance “H is just something that I will deal with in my life. It’s ultimately just a skin condition with an unfortunate reputation. I can move on and live my life.” Note that these stages of healing don’t have to occur in order — stages can be skipped and/or revisited — nor do they all show up before acceptance (although Kubler Ross says a person will experience at least two). These stages shouldn’t be forced; they are meant to be understood as natural stages to an organic process. Getting a definitive H blood test to know for sure if you have it and what type (HSV-1 or HSV-2) is vital for you to move past denial. The harder you fight the diagnosis, the more likely you will stay in the denial stage. Sometimes giving up hope for something that won’t happen allows you to move on and be happy with where you are. So what’s the point? When you don’t force the process, then whatever you’re going through right now becomes part of what’s supposed to happen. Just hang in there, be fair to yourself and let yourself feel whatever you’re feeling in a self-supporting, nonjudgmental way. If you need to talk with someone, talk. If you need to be alone, be alone. If you need to yell, yell. If you need to eat a gallon of ice cream, eat it (but make sure to balance it out with a fresh salad at some point, too). The point is, let yourself experience whatever you need to experience. That’s healthy. If you push away what is, you stuff it down. And it’s bound to squeeze out the edges when you’re least expecting it. With all this being said, keep an eye on how your thoughts are creating the feelings you are feeling. You have a choice over what kind of thoughts you are thinking. Feelings and emotions don’t just arbitrarily come like clouds in the sky; they come because of the thoughts we are choosing to think. Sometimes the thoughts are conscious (we choose to think them) while at other times, our thoughts are more on the unconscious or subconscious level. This is why developing a mindfulness practice and self-awareness practice is key to healing fully. And this isn’t just about H; developing this kind of mindfulness will allow you to be less and less impacted by anything in your life that might have derailed you before. Ready for the secret to “getting over it”? Don’t just get over it and forget about it. That’s just another form of denial. Move through it. Just like if a fog were to settle over you as you’re taking a morning walk. Don’t run back to your home. Continue walking through the fog, with your eyes wide open. Eventually, the fog will lift and you will find your way back. And how do you stay walking through the fog without falling or running into things? You can’t guarantee those mistakes and mis-steps won’t happen, but what you can guarantee is that you will accept them when they do as a natural part of the process. Like I said before, self-acceptance is the key to self-love. When you accept every bit of you, who you are and what you have, then the world itself becomes an accepting place. So getting over it means going through it, with full acceptance.

Wow! What strength and honesty you have expressed. I have a question for you. What if your best friend or sister came to you with the exact story that you have just shared? What would you say? What would you express to them if they were in Your shoes? Would you treat them differently? Would they mean any less to you? If you witnessed people judging someone you loved that had herpes what would you say in their defense? Aren't you worthy of the same level of respect and love for yourself? I hope that you will take the time to watch and read Adrial's articles and videos. I am not going to try and coax you into feeling something that is not in your heart. I just want you to know that we are together in this. I cannot speak for everyone but I can tell you I have felt so many similar emotions that you have expressed. Please take the time to sit and breathe. Just one day at a time. You don't strike me as someone that gives up. I am happy to offer any support that you may need. Please don't blame yourself. None of us expected to have this circumstance take place. You deserve a happy life. Think of the role model you already are to your child. If you were not an amazing human being... none of this would have you searching for the inner peace that you so deserve. Peggy

Grow through what you go through.

I can hardly believe that I was diagnosed 3 years ago. So much has changed in so many ways. From the initial shock of it all... to finding judgment free self love. I will not deny that it takes practice like anything else that's worth having. So for me after the dust has settled life continues. It moves forward whether we want it to or not. Hey we are lucky enough to be here we might as well rock our existence! Which brings me to this huge word SUPPORT!! No matter how long Herpes has been in your life support even from one person is so important. I signed up for Adrial's virtual support Group I have been through all the steps to deal with herpes and move forward. I thought I would try the virtual support figuring what did I have to lose. I found myself on the calls with this uncontrollable urge to help and inspire others and through this they all brought me inspiration. There is something about being in a group with people that can Relate to what your going through. And in the end as Adrial always says it's about so much more than herpes. Herpes just brought us all together.So even if you think that your ok with everything in your life just remember when you reach out for support your also giving it back in ways you may not realize. If you have not had the chance please do yourself a favor and join the virtual support group. It's not expensive. I promise it will bring so much growth. Peggy

That may be the case I would check with your Dr. Mine seem to be more internal. Never outer.

Hey last weird coincidence I had no legal pain for 2 years until like last month? Interesting

I wanted to mention in the begining it's like I thought I needed medication because the stigma sounds so horrible. You know it's like taking a pain pills before the pain happens. I thought I was going to be one big blister ...I have Med's if I need. I feel comfortable knowing that. I wish everyone had such small physical issues with this virus. Feel free to check out my other posts you may find them helpful. There is truly no better community than the H-opp.

Hi, no I have never passed it on. I got it at the age of 48 I was traumatized. ..and now I am transformed it made me love myself for the first time. I thought a man that I dated for years gave it to me but he tested negetive. However he has HSV 1 anyway we are very careful. It seems it was dormant in my system from years ago. I had some massive life changes that brought the virus out. At first I thought I cut myself shaving. Anyway I had the same leg issue no sores just pain and red right in the inner crease of my thigh. Where the elastic of the underwear fits by my leg. And like you ..I have only had little pink dots on my rear cheek. Neither of these were very painful. All I take is lysine and 2 TBLSP of apple cider vinegar a day.no issue. Now as far as passing on HSV to someone I haven't. ..it can be very hard to stop in the heat of the moment if you have not disclosed. It can be heart wrenching. What I do is this ..any man that says he is ok with and understanding about HSV we are adults and if we consent I am not responsible. However I will not be intimate without a condom unless I get married again. I have been with my man friend for many years and he says he does not want to use protection...well that won't happen without a ring. Lol I digress. .sorry about the novel. I hope I have helped you in some way. :) Peggy By the way if you have the chance you should go to one of Adrial's seminars LIFE CHANGING!

Hi thanks for sharing. This is normal and happens to me sometimes. It's because herpes is in your nerves by your tailbone. So it radiates sometimes down the thigh inner and outer. Our symptoms seem similar. I advise watching Adrial's videos. However for me the leg pain was not to bad. It goes away after a couple of days. I realize all of us feel pain differently. Do you think you would be okay if you didn't take meds? I only take lysine and eat healthy. I work out and get plenty of rest. I have been HSV positive for 3 years no outbreaks. Anyway just sharing my experience I know we are all different. I went this route because I have 1 kidney and the herpes meds could cause me an issue. So I was not willing to take meds. Again you must do whatever is best for you. I hope this helped.

Herpes is a great filter. You deserve so much better. I'm sorry you were treated so badly. I'm here for you if you need a friend.

I love your attitude. Herpes does not define you! I'm here if you need a friend.

Thanks so much for sharing. I too found out that I had Hsv1 and 2 at the age of 48. I had had a traumatic experience that caused the virus to show itself. I have not had an outbreak since. You sound like a wonderful positive person. Things will keep getting Easier. If sounds like you have a lot of people that love you. As always Adrial and his community are here for you. Peggy

Crazy right!

Hello everyone it's been a while. I hope your having a happy new year. So I wanted to share something. I have been in a relationship for the last nine months We have agreed to go our separate ways. Just for a fresh start in the new year I decided to get Back on a dating website. I never had much success but thought it was a good step to put myself Out there. So I met this man on line a motivational health nutrition specialist. A person who seemed To live a honest inspiring integrity filled life. A retired army intelligence man and retired police officer. I had only spoken to him 3 times on the phone. We were just getting to know each other when he sent Me this: I can't seem to insert the pic....but he sent me this....I like my women like I like my computer On my lap..turned on and....VIRUS FREE!!!!! I couldn't believe my eyes...I responded that I did not find It funny to laugh at people who have an STD. He of course had no idea as we had spoken 3 times. He then sent me a text that said he met a woman on Match.com that he connected with and dated Her for 2 months. He said she then told me she had HERPES. She was a waste of time he said. WOW after my 9 month relationship with a herpes free man by the way. This is the first man I meet? The reason I am sharing all of this is because there will always be ignorant stigma filled people in this world. Oh by the way I set him straight lol Scorpio stinger out lol! In all seriousness be good to yourself Realize your self love and your value. This guy didn't even realize that he actually did me a HUGE favor. Once again in Adrial words Herpes is a great filter. All I have to say is NEXT!!! Every day remember you are amazing and we define who we are. No one else has that control!!! Make this your best year ever! Thank you for giving me this space to share.