Peggy

Don't be ashamed of your story. It just might inspire someone.

When you judge another you do not define them...you define yourself.

What is in the way ...Is the way

I totally agree. In my opinion to disclose through texting is hiding. OWN IT because you are fabulous! If you are rejected at least you were real and vulnerable enough to put it out there genuinely! Whomever is on the other side of the disclosure is really going to respect you. And as many have said you know when the moment is right and only you. There should be some level of caring and trust before you disclose. You deserve to be loved for exactly who you are! Now go and rock it!

I love all of the shares on this one..I would like to add that it is human nature to get lonely. I was married for 12 years and it was the loneliest time of my life. I guess its your perspective. When I was diagnosed with HSV 1/ HSV2 2years ago It got pretty crazy. But once I found this site and Adrial I was able to do some serious soul searching. here is the thing if you let fear in it will cripple you. I had a huge fear of disclosure which yes created loneliness in my life because I was limiting myself. Once I realized that if you take away all of the B.S. all you are left with is a medical fact. This medical fact does not define you. That is where being human comes in. We all want to be accepted in everyday life. We want acceptance whether someone has herpes or not. In my practice of being healthy in mind, body and spirit I remind myself daily that I am worthy of all that life has to give. No limits and no boxing myself in. Being vulnerable allows me to be accepting of human nature and not take things to personally. I try every day to put myself out there I may not always succeed But one thing is for sure I will never give up on the cause...and the cause is ME!

Just a note Please feel free to message me with any questions regarding the Hopp weekend....or whatever you may need.

Have you ever noticed in life from the day that we are born we are exposed to different ideas different opinions and different judgments? We go through our lives everyday not even realizing how these opinions have formed in our minds. Some of these opinions and judgments we never question because they just become part of our fiber and who we are. But once we become individuals we should look at these opinions or ideas or judgments and see if there's really anything that backs them up. Sometimes when things happen in our life everything can be clouded with emotion. We cannot see clearly when things happen in our lives and we don't set the emotions aside and look at the facts. So what am I getting at? This is exactly what my life was like before I found the weekend seminar and Adrial Dale. I found out that I had herpes. all I could see were the negative judgments, ideas, and opinions that I had just mindlessly followed all of my life. Sometimes when you're living it you can't see past it. And remember Adrial is in the same boat that we are. I attended two of his weekend seminars. The first time I was a participant. He gave me the tools and knowledge to see past the emotion and look at the facts and look at what this was really all about. Just the facts. Again these facts and tools came from someone who lives this every day of his life as well. It absolutely changed my life forever. It made me realize that all of those ideas and opinions that were forced on me had no true meaning behind them. I then realized that I was a independent person that was able to form and research my own opinions and ideas. The second time that I went to the weekend seminar I was a staff member. Even though I was part of the staff we went through some significant changes of our own as well. We had the opportunity to hear of all the new participants stories and how their lives have changed with herpes. We were able firsthand to share our experiences as well. It Really was a safe healthy loving environment for everyone to talk about confidentially what they had been going through. Hey remember not everyone at the weekend seminar has herpes. So it gives you the opportunity to hear neutral opinions. And learn the truth about herpes. So really here's the bottom line. Here is my question to you. before all of this happened in your life did you blame yourself for issues in your life? When you were judged or when other people judged you did you feel like your life was over? Probably not. so why should things be different now? You are still the amazing wonderful human being that you always were. Why would you let a small medical fact change who you are? You are the same person you have not changed. You still deserve all that life has to offer. Don't you owe it to yourself to take the opportunity to live your best life possible? You have nothing to lose but guilt,shame and misinformation. Don't let herpes define who you are you are so much more than that. Thanks for taking time out for me. Warm regards, As a friend said to me What's in the way....Is the way.... Peggy

Hi just FYI its very dangerous to use and old razor or one with any rust. You probably already know this...When I had my first OB I thought I cut myself shaving. For me I now know that it is a totally different feeling. And for me more than 1 or two bumps. However I have had only one OB. But as others stated I would just be cautious until its gone.

Hi I just wanted to say I understand where you are coming from. At first I read about rubber gloves etc. I am just saying for me...RIDICULOUS!!!Honey have a party with yourself! At least I do...Just do not touch your eyes or face just in case. And as far as hands or fingers ours or a partners just wash your hands when your done. When this first happened to me almost 2 years ago. There were so many fearful things that I saw and read on the internet. Remember we are all unique in each case. So please don't be afraid to love yourself:) I will say we have some of the best knowledgeable experts on this website. With great and safe information. I am just telling you my personal experience. I hope things are going better for you.

you are so awesome! Thank you for the kind words. Listen don't rush yourself at first its like the stigma and fear continue to sneak in on a daily basis. Once you try to stop the negative emotion that comes with it like practice it like a pattern every time herpes enters your mind in a negative way to think about something positive that it has done for you or your life. Do you know what I mean?what I can tell you about my own personal experience is that I knew I would not survive if I was minimized or less of a person because I have herpes. But make no mistake I'm human too I have my moments sometimes I'm scared and sometimes the stigma starts to creep in. But I immediately put it to a stop because I know it just makes everything ugly. And that is one of the first things that changed in my life was that it made me less judgmental towards others. I thought of all the ways in my life that I had judged people through ignorance and not knowledge. I would love to chat sometime. we all need support when it comes to this including myself :-) we are all in the same boat and I think it's awesome that we all support each other. I hope you're having a wonderful holiday season! Big hugs Peggy

Ah thank you!

47

Hi there I totally understand your dilemma! I think you already know that if you want the chance of a relationship with this man. YOU MUST TELL HIM:) as Adrial says read the disclosure info. For your own sanity and integrity you should tell him....now listen we are all afraid at times. I say when you tell him OWN IT!! You are an awesome loving human being. If its a deal breaker than it was not meant to be right? At the very least he will respect you! I am serious when I say I have tried it all! I have tried to dodge and hide from disclosure. It is impossible to be authentic and not be honest. I swear the truth will set you free and empower you. Worst case scenario its a deal breaker....then next time you will be stronger for it. I love what Adrial says if someone is not accepting of herpes...Say thanks for showing me who you truly are. Also I always wait until I have a connection....however I wouldn't wait to long as it might appear that you were deceiving him. Its a skin rash nothing more! Let me know how it goes Im thinking of you:)

Hi I have so been where you are with slightly different turns. Nothing will change what happened to you. Revenge might briefly make you feel better. You may very well destroy lives however from what you say about this guy, he does not have much of a conscience. Also stress is not good for you and can add up to a possible OB. This time is about you and your healing right? Remember KARMA is a BITCH right:) Breathe and take care of yourself...Oh one big comment if the other girl is not aware, or her health or safety are at risk then that may be a different story.... All the best to you:)

Hi there, Please give the dust time to settle. I felt exactly the same that you do. Try and put aside the emotion I know that its not easy. You can still be sexual just be cautious. For me it was so much judgment and stigma in my own head. So just breathe:) so are you not worthy of life and love now that you have Herpes? Does Herpes erase you and who you are? Of course not. The people that deserve to be in your life will see that. Please be kind to yourself. I have been in your shoes and life is better than ever. For me Herpes was a gift. Look we are all different and with time you will discover what makes you ok. Herpes will not minimize me nor you! I'm here for you!

Hi there, If you don't mind my advice. You have to listen to your body. I have had only one outbreak and the Dr. gave me the same medication. I almost felt like I would have to always take this medication. Well to my surprise I have not had any outbreaks. I eat healthy and workout. I juice and take LYSINE and 2 spoons of apple cider vinegar a day (which by the way has many health benefits.) Don't take my word for it Google it:) You be the judge see if the OB is livable usually its just a little itch or tingle. I'm so glad you are trusting yourself and how you feel! I have the same bottle of pills from a year and a half ago:)

I wanted to share a once-in-a-lifetime experience that happened to me today. I started attending a woman's motivational group a couple of months ago we get together once a month. We talked about current events life's issues women, men, children anything that we feel are important issues. Strangely enough today one of the subjects was about stigma related to different things in life however none of them were speaking about herpes. In that moment something inside of me stirred. And I knew that this was my moment it's a group of about 10 women I know two of them from my career in television. When they came around the table and it was my turn I instantly decided that I was going to disclose. So I just started speaking and honestly, I felt completely confident and safe disclosing in the company of these 10 women. And I just told everyone that I had been diagnosed with HSV 2 herpes. I actually used both of those words. It was amazing to me that I made this disclosure with such strength and confidence there was not even a flutter in my stomach. The women were so accepting and so loving with me just me being me. I honestly felt so proud of myself and so empowered! The women gave me nothing but encouragement and said that they thought I had a voice that could help so many others that maybe did not feel as confident as I did. I feel like when I made this disclosure it was so easy and just flowed right off of my lips with such pride it really was awesome! The women were so kind and a couple of them actually have their own women's groups as well and have invited me to come and speak there as well. Thanks for letting me share I think it's nice when we hop on here and we're able to talk about things that we experience. I would always want to share with each and everyone of you I feel that you are all in my heart and we are all here for each other. Xoxo

I was diagnosed with herpes 15 months ago... I was married for 12 years and then divorced,,then in a mentally and physically abusive relationship for eight years. As if that was not enough I was date raped last year as well...I was told by the Dr. that I had HSV1 HSV2 and gonorrhea WOW!!!! what a lovely cocktail that was!!!! And I was a monogamous good woman. The reason I am giving such details is to let you know I was devastated I never thought this would happen to me! I wanted to hide forever and tell no one. But I had been dating a man for a couple of months I knew he did not give it to me because I had what I thought was razor burn before I met him. I had also dated 2 other men in the prior 6 months before that...so did it cross my mind not to say anything? To not disclose? Briefly but then I remembered that someone had done this to me and changed my life forever. I would never want to be responsible for altering someone's life forever just so I could feel loved and accepted. Just so I could enjoy physical pleasure for a while? Knowing in my mind that it would be based on a lie? Knowing in the back of my mind that I chose to destroy an innocent persons life? I had to disclose to 3 different men I called them crying and blaming them! I also called the ex abusive playboy and accused him! guess what they all tested negative!!! Imagine my surprise! And Boy did I want someone to blame!!!!.......So what about now? I don't care who it was they obviously have it too! It is a skin rash and nothing more...I am worthy of love and affection and if I disclosed and sent them running well I deserve better right!! I believe that if you don't have honesty you don't have anything....I could hide all of this from everyone but then I would have no authenticity as a human being......My life would be a fraud....I have lived that life and I would rather die than go back there again...My point in saying all of this is we all have our story. We were all shocked and devastated and broken when we were diagnosed with herpes....for me life is about so much more I don't know you but I know you deserve to be loved for the awesome person that you are I am so proud of you for joining the forum and I would love to hear more about your progress..One final note I have been blessed to be part of the Hopp weekend seminar twice it is life changing!! Imagine Adrial he could have kept his experience with herpes to himself...instead look at what he has created and all the lives that he has touched! Because he simply did not want anyone else to suffer....remember you have the power...NOT HERPES.

Hi Im am so sorry this happened to you. I can really relate. When I was first diagnosed I was raising hell and taking names. I wanted to kill the guy I thought was responsible. (not literally) but I wanted to make his life a living hell....I felt I could not go on until I had my revenge.....Then I realized revenge would not change anything.....the person that given it to me already has been sentenced..It happened and there is no way to change it...so now what? If I take out the emotion what is it I needed to do move forward to only a happy life..I felt the same way you did there was a guy I was with for 8 yrs. I stayed with him because he new my situation and I felt safe, Well that didn't last long because I felt he was responsible for my misery...he actually said to me just because Im with you that doesn't mean I would sleep with just any bitch with herpes...You deserve someone wonderful who loves and accepts you exactly how you are. By the way Im 48 and was married for 12 years and in a relationship for 8 so I get it I was always very cautious and selective it just took a few small mistakes and Herpes changed my life forever. Now it has been an amazing new catalyst in my life I am better and happier than I have ever been and its because of me and no one else! Be good to yourself and love yourself you deserve it. I want to share something a friend said that changed my life forever...Now that we have herpes we do not have to sell ourselves to people we do not need a disclaimer and we do not HAVE A CATCH! We are amazing people worthy of love and we happen to have a skin rash. I would love to chat sometime! Let me know how things progress. Peggy

Hi, No one is going to claw you to death for saying how you feel. I think its a matter of perspective. We all walk in our own shoes right? In my life this is what I think...I don't think that herpes is easy for anyone. We all do whatever it is that we have to do to survive in our own world. I do agree that men have to initially put it out there in the beginning more than women....but on that note I am a strong woman never shy about approaching a man. But that's me. And by the way I love meeting men in church! I know that it can seem really hard at times. I know that herpes seems to be an extra burden added on top of everything else right! If you can keep this in mind I think this will help...I don't know you personally but I am willing to bet that you have some pretty amazing things about you! Its seems from what you said in your post that obviously you have had relationships with women. Just remember that you are unique and special and if the woman you are pursuing can't see that then her loss and move on! Life is short! I know its cliché but its true. Please don't let the herpes make you nervous you would never share that right away. Herpes is your personal business to share when its right for you. So relax and just take it moment by moment. BREATHE:)....hey just FYI I was diagnosed with herpes 16 months ago I have probably been on 10 dates and had a brief 4 month relationship...none of them worked out and it had nothing to do with herpes. Remember they need to earn getting to know your heart! Let me know how things progress! Hey by the way I really like hearing your prospective thank you! Please keep me up to date! Im here if you wanna chat! Peggy

Yahoooooo!!! Adrial did you change my name!!!! You rock! Its Peggy the real authentic me!!!!Thankyou that just moved me so deeply!!!!! For me that means so much!

My first and only OB my left thigh felt sunburnt and tingly...also I work out a lot and my rear felt like I did 100 squats but I did not. That is the only time I have had those symptoms. so for me that was about a year ago. I read up on it and it said it was a reaction from the HSV2 it was the nerves. Also random for anyone with HSV 1 before I realized I had it for no reason Id wake up at night and I felt like something was stuck in my throat. But there was nothing. Random thought.

BTW my name is Peggy.... Noel is history. I tried to change it on here but can't:)

So with the seminar so close I have found myself reflecting...Just remembering who and where I was in my life then.....and where I am now wow!!!! And If I am capable of such growth anyone is! Be ready to be welcomed by the most wonderful warm supportive people you will ever meet! I am so excited to see everyone! Much love PEEPS!!!!

Brenda I love you girl! She is so right! All you have to be is yourself!!!