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Abby2017

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Everything posted by Abby2017

  1. Thank you for your support. I was pretty upset but feel calmer now although I'm still processing. And I got my pcr swab results back today and it was positive. I'm still waiting on the western blot results but a positive pcr seems pretty definitive. At least it seems like this long-standing mystery is finally over.
  2. So I'm the one who's had conflicting hsv test results - a pos, two negs, and then a pos over several years. The infectious disease doc thinks I do have hsv but that my antibody titer was probably so low as to be undetectable when I had the neg tests. I finally got him to get me a western blot test and i'm waiting for the results. never really had symptoms, just occasional "paper cuts" that were pcr swabbed but came out negative so I attributed them to random things my body did. until today, when i checked what I thought was a paper cut just by the way it felt and saw that i had what looked like two white head pimples in my vaginal lips. i burst into tears. I guess this really does mean that I have it. I was preparing myself, thinking that I had it, but perhaps was mostly asymptomatic until I saw these pimple like things and I guess that's when the reality hit me. I was maybe sort of hoping that there was the tiniest of possibilities that I didn't have it. The last guy I dated broke up with me once he found out that my test was positive. life is just sucking right now. just one more layer of bullshit to deal with when dating. what does this mean for my dating life? when i got the first pos result years ago, I was mostly concerned about what it would mean for my sex life bc I wasn't interesting in relationships. not so much into the one night stands anymore, but you know, maybe once in a while I want to get with someone for a brief night. most people probably won't risk the stigma just for one night of fun. and then you think you meet a great guy only to have him run away in fear once he finds out you have herpes. why is life challenging me like this?
  3. to be honest, I think the bad odor might be BV. i wonder if the outbreak might trigger bv which is an imbalance in vaginal ph.
  4. It was an IGG type specific test. Bioplex tests apparently have similar reliability as Herpes Select although they don't provide numerical ranges. But I understand that if I had a test that gave numerical values, I might have fallen into the equivocal range which is why I am pursuing the Western Blot. Apparently, for some folks, there is a protein that is similar to the hsv antibody but is not hsv which might be tripping up the test for some folks.
  5. The kind of test I got only says it's positive/negative - no numerical values. The infectious disease doctor says that it's possible that my antibody count became so low that it wasn't detectable by the test if I wasn't having an outbreak. However, my understanding is that the virus is always active even if you aren't having an outbreak so you will always have antibodies. Am getting a western blot soon to sort this out.
  6. I tested positive for hsv II, but I don't have the classic "sores" or nerve pain. I have "paper cuts" from time to time and my doctor told me that those were my symptoms. Just curious to know if there was anyone out there who is positive for HSVI or HSVII but doesn't have classic symptoms of cold sores/nerve pain or just very mild symptoms.
  7. So I was diagnosed about 12 years ago as positive with an IGG blood test. Ten years later, I got tested again and to my surprise, it was negative! I retested just to make sure and it was negative again! So I figured the first time might have been a false positive. However, I read this article about being misdiagnosed (https://thehairpin.com/how-i-found-out-i-didnt-have-the-herpes-i-d-been-living-with-for-four-years-5a30c2ac9efc) and there was a line that struck me: "“Sometimes the antibodies for herpes just go away, and blood tests can no longer detect them,” she [the gynecologist] told me as she closed my file." I know that once you have it, the antibodies don't go away. However, is possible that antibodies can go so low because you don't have an active infection that it becomes undetectable?
  8. I guess my point of writing this book is to say that sometimes the ones who seem to "run" at first just need some time. My guy had to wait for a year and a half until I was available again but at the moment things are going well. Thanks for that story. It makes me feel much better. I met a guy online too and we got close. We tested for stds, I found out that I was positive and he decided he couldn't handle it. tbh, there were other issues too (I didn't think they were insurmountable but he would say I think we should end this but we'd end up together again) but I feel like we have a very strong connection. but ultimately, I think H tipped the point. maybe one day he'll turn around, but I'm not really holding my breath. nevertheless, there is still the slightest glimmer of hope.
  9. Here's what makes me feel better in such cases... (1) I will never again have to experience this because now I know my status and can tell people in advance and only progress with people who do not have anxiety about it. (2) Sex with people who are really anxious about it will not be hot enough for me. I need to feel sexy and free and uninhibited, and I need to be with partners who are super into it. Otherwise, it will kinda suck for me. So people who are honest about their anxiety are doing me a favor in letting me go to pursue others who may be a better match. (3) My experience disclosing to potential partners, as well as the reading I've done, tells me that a majority of people will be okay with my status. I just have to be available to meet new people and be willing to keep trying. I can do that! (((HUGS))) Thanks for the kind words. I know that what you've said is totally true, just bummed about this particular guy since we had already gotten close and since we thought we were going to get it on, I suggested that we both get tested and that's when I found out. I was already kind of emotionally invested.
  10. Sorry that you've had to go through this. Personally, I don't think you should tell until you think there is potential (whether for romance or a casual fling). But honestly, I think it depends on the guy and and the situation and what feels right for you. I think the guy had unfair expectations....sounds like he's inexperienced with dealing with unexpected information with grace.
  11. What I love about this forum is the openness and discussion about the possibilities of having casual relationships with H and not being judgmental about it. While not opposed to it, not everyone wants to settle down, get married, and have kids right away. Sometimes folks want to express themselves as a sexual being but not have to be in a long term relationship.
  12. So the guy I was seeing broke up with me after he found out that my test came back positive for HSV2. He said that intellectually he knows that it's the same as cold sores HSVI on the mouth, but that getting over the stigma that is associated with HSV2 is just too much, another thing that we had to work on in our short but I suppose tumultuous relationship despite the fact that we felt very connected together. He also said that he wouldn't be able to have the kind of sex he would want with me, and that he wasn't interested in using dental dams and he wanted that fluid bonding. And if we were to have sex, he wouldn't feel sexually attracted. Of course, I'm pretty bummed. Like super bummed and sad. I struggle with staying away from the abyss of depression, but it's been difficult. I know that I'm supposed to be glad that HSV2 weeded this guy out, that if he can't accept this about me, then he doesn't deserve me, that I dodged a bullet, etc, etc etc. I know I'm probably entering fantasy land, but do guys who freak out over this ever get over it? I wouldn't exactly say he freaked out, but he said he was really really uncomfortable and worries he might have gotten it from the two times he gave me oral. Of course, I told him about the transmission rates, and that made him feel better. But is there anything that can make me feel better? Has anyone had an experience where their partner or potential partner initially freaked out but came to terms with it?
  13. About 12 years ago, I tested positive for HSVII. I was devastated and was depressed for a long time. I didn't have classic symptoms so I wanted a retest but it would cost a few hundred bucks, money I didn't have at the time. Fast forward about nine years later. I finally have some decent health insurance and I get tested again, but this time the results were NEGATIVE!!! I was like, what??? I got tested a second time about three months later and that turned out to be negative as well! I also had a swab test done on what I had thought was how herpes expressed itself in my body (small paper cuts) and that came out negative as well. Well, those negative tests were about two years ago and I thought I was going to start a new relationship so I decided to get tested again for everything (with some persistence because a lot of health professionals strongly discourage herpes tests). Unfortunately, it came back positive again. So what do you think is happening? Why did I get a positive, then two negatives (plus a negative swab), then a positive again??? My tests were IGG type-specific tests using a the BioPlex machines. My health professional is referring me to an Infectious Disease doctor to help me figure out what is going on but I haven't gotten the call for the appointment yet. Thanks for any insights.
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