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HereComesTheSun's Achievements



  1. In keeping with this a previous post asking about how frequent symptoms occur, I'm wondering if anyone can share whether they've had a similar experience with what I am going through right now? I keep generally healthy, fitness-wise (although I've had some stressful times in the past couple of months and have been drinking a lot of coffee lately). Since March (so, for the past almost 5 months) I've had constant, continuous outbreaks. As soon as one finishes, another one starts. Like clockwork. I entered a relationship in this time, and we were unable to have sex d/t my symptoms, which I think it what contributed to it ending (even though he was a cool guy and found it to be not a big deal, I will question what would have happened if we could have been physically closer). I have had the virus for 4+ years, so it doesn't have to do with it being in the beginning stages. Baseline for me after the first year, was about an OB once every 3 months or so. I was on suppressive therapy (500mg Valacyclovir) when this started, then progressed to 2 pills per day to see if this would quiet symptoms down, then went up to 3 per day. I noticed that I started bruising, so I stopped in case this high dosage was lowering my platelet count. I really am at my wits end with this. I will talk to my doctor but not for a couple of weeks. I'm starting to feel depressed and hopeless, yet again, after I finally felt like I had come to a place of peace with this and what it means for my life. It's hard to see a light at the end of the tunnel, when the symptoms just will not let up... Anyone have any similar experiences... or insights to offer me... would be greatly appreciated at this time.
  2. Just out of curiosity, for anyone who happens to read this - there are the stats and all talking about spreading hsv1 genital to genital, but has this actually happened to anyone on this forum? Or has anyone passed it that way? I know that theoretically it's possible, but does anyone have experience with this happening? Just curious.
  3. My story began with over a year of debilitating sadness. I grieved the loss of the person that I used to be. I cried a lot, I let myself go. I had to come to terms with the loss of the person I use to be. Eventually I mustered up the courage to go on a date and yes, I found love again. We met on PS. I started to wake up, to feel beautiful again. He loved me unconditionally through every flaw and everything that made me the person that I am - including this. He helped me come back to life and I will forever be grateful for that. Things have not worked out between us. Unfortunately it is not the type of breakup where we can remain friends. So again, I'm feeling scared and alone. I know I'm not... I have a wonderful support network of friends and family but lately I've just been feeling the deep sadness that comes with a future of uncertainty. Mostly I'm just scared. It's been 3 years and I have picked myself up in many ways. I've started running and eating healthy again, and am back in school working towards my professional masters degree. I'm certainly more compassionate, present, and open minded than ever before. I'm sure I've found my calling, and I know that having gone through this will make me a better health care professional. ...but I'm scared. I'm scared that I won't find the courage to date, to disclose, to be vulnerable and risk everything for love. I've watched the videos and read the books on vulnerability. I've been touched by stories of individuals who have gone through intense suffering and identity loss and have come out awakened, enlightened. I just hope that I am able to access that strength within myself when the time comes, that things work out in such a way that brings meaning to all of this. That I find someone, again, who isn't scared. I do have hope. But some days (and today is one of those days) the doubt just creeps in and takes over... Thank you for reading my post, and for sharing your stories. The authenticity here continues to amaze and inspire me. ❤
  4. Although it has only been a little over a year for me and I am no where near the place Kirsty is on her journey, I wanted to share these videos with all of you that I recently came across. Kirsty did a TEDx talk and follow-up Podcast with Jenelle from The STD Project on coming out about having herpes, her struggles and pains with shame and guilt, and what she has learned along the way. Hearing her speak has triggered SEVERE emotions in me. I cried uncontrollably watching and listening to her in every audio/video, but in a cleansing "It feels so good to know I am not alone in this" kind of way. I can relate to everything that she says on many levels, as I'm sure all of you will be able to as well. This link contains all three audio/videos (the TEDx talk, her own personal "coming out" video, and Podcast interview): http://www.thestdproject.com/kirsty-spraggon-living-with-herpes/ Cheers, lovelies.
  5. I had a similar experience when I was first diagnosed! I was renting a room from a very nice lady, who took me to the doctors when I was sick and made sure I was looked after. The day of my diagnosis, in the bathroom I noticed an empty valtrex package on the counter. I was confused, so I asked if it was hers, and told her that's the same medication the Dr had just given me. She then told me about how she'd gotten HSV and HPV from her unfaithful husband. Although at that point in time I think I was still in complete and total denial about the fact that I had this thing, that experience definitely helped me to know I wasn't alone, right off the bat, and seeing how well her life was going on made me feel that much better at the time.
  6. Today (and everyday) I am grateful for... The amazing people I am blessed to have in my life. For my housemates that brought me flowers simply because they love me and know how my heart's been hurting. I'm grateful for the endless supply of hugs they provide me, and the laughs we share together every day over regular absurdities. I'm grateful for my parents. And for my fur babies. And I never thought I'd say this, but after spending the past year abroad, I am grateful to be back home, frolicking in the snow. Almost forgot how nice it feels to remember all of the blessings in life... must remember to do it more often.
  7. Just want to say that I was extremely close to writing a 'woe is me' post as I've been feeling profoundly low the past while. Then I read this, and it lifted my spirits. You are courageous and inspiring. Thanks for sharing your beautiful story.
  8. "Life isn't happening to you. It's happening for you." -Tony Robbins "We all lose sometimes. We fail to get what we want. Friends and loved ones leave. We make a decision we regret. We try our hardest and come up short. It’s not the losing that defines us. It’s how we lose. It’s what we do afterward." & "Sometimes we have to go to dark places. Things will be better off and you’ll grow. You just don’t know it now." -Scott Jurek, Eat&Run
  9. Also we don't have a vaccine yet because scientists have been busy testing the same type of subunit vaccines for the last several years even though they have been proven repeatedly to be ineffective. This excerpt taken from Dr. Halford's blog: "...a therapeutic HSV-2 vaccine is a high bar to clear, but a prophylactic HSV-2 vaccine should be much easier once we quit wasting our time on Herpevac, GEN-003, HerpV and all the other failed HSV-2 vaccine approaches that promise 100% protection against HSV-2 by immunizing with 1% of HSV-2′s antigens. As soon as scientists in my field wake up to the simple truth that (1) the past HSV-2 vaccines that failed were lame ideas from the word go and (2) the solution to the genital herpes problem is as plain as day…..a live-attenuated HSV-2 vaccine. Once scientists put on their big boy pants (i.e., admit the error in logic that has held us back for 30 years), then the scenario that HSV-2 discordant couples face will be a non-issue. Any live HSV-2 vaccine that would work as a therapeutic HSV-2 vaccine that reduces or eliminates the symptoms of genital herpes in someone already infected with HSV-2 (i.e., the hard task), then a lower dose of THE EXACT SAME VACCINE should certainly work quite easily as a preventative vaccine." So sounds like HSV2 is absolutely vaccine-preventable, although likely not completely vaccine-curable (but, a reduction/elimination in symptoms and a way to prevent it from being passed along would basically be the same). That being said, frustrating as it is - it won't be today or tomorrow, & most likely won't be for at least another 6 years as we all know. So 'til then/possibly forever ... you decide what your successes are (not some dipshit virus) Peace, blessings & love :)
  10. @HerryTheHerp - where did you read that Frazer completed phases 2 & 3? I was sure he was just finishing with phase 1 and we are still waiting to hear the final results.
  11. Hey SG. First if all: I do not judge you and I do not think you're a monster. I am not here to make you change your mind, to give you tough love, to make you feel guilty, or to make you feel bad about your decision. This decision is yours and if you feel comfortable and peaceful with it at this moment, then that is completely your call. But- about pretending you're a symptomatic if he gets it, well let me tell you, that's what the man who gave it to me told me when I was first diagnosed. That he never had a symptom. That he never knew, blah blah. I came to find out later that he had indeed known, once I put the pieces together as to why he had avoided sleeping with me on a few occasions (he was experiencing obs and was too scared/ashamed to tell me). This is what hurts me more than anything, that even after he passed it on to me, he STILL continued to lie about it and tell me he's never had any symptoms. After a few months, he finally told me, yes, he had some bumps down below and has seen that before, etc. The reason I am hurting, SO badly, is that this person that I thought I could trust - could lie to me so much. It kills me more than anything that I've had to cut him out of my life. Because I hate to cut anyone out who I had that much of a (seemingly) meaningful connection with. But, there's just no coming back from that kind of betrayal. It cuts too deep. Again, I am by no means here to judge you or tell you what to do, absolutely not, because to be honest i myself still don't know exactly where I stand with the whole disclosure thing. I can only *hope* that I will act with integrity and not do anything to hurt another person in a way that I would not like to be hurt. The only thing I'm here to tell you, SG, is that the truth ALWAYS comes out. And even if it doesn't, it will more than likely eat you alive. But, in your heart, you will know what is right when the time comes. Whether that be disclosure or not. Whether you disclose or not, you will learn whatever lesson it is that you need to learn.
  12. It's not a cure by any means - from what I understand after reading this study is that it is just *possible* that it *might* alleviate symptoms in *some* people. & yes, with this vaccine (as with any potential therapeutic vaccine) there will ALWAYS be the possibility of the virus being spread Cheers & your daily dose of ... sunshine? :)
  13. Hey Ra! I posted a similar thread asking this question (about the same study) some time ago, but no one responded so I deleted it after a while. The link to the study is: http://www.researchgate.net/publication/236963380_Efficacy_of_the_anti-VZV_(anti-HSV3)_vaccine_in_HSV1_and_HSV2_recurrent_herpes_simplex_disease_a_prospective_study/file/72e7e51a77e0805b17.pdf I too was extremely baffled as to why I hadn't heard of this before - a vaccine alread on the market that could prevent outbreaks?! I dunno, it's worth a shot I suppose - but, I also asked the question on Dr. Bill Halford's blog and he said he's heard of at least 4 people who have gotten it without any results.
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