Hello everyone!
I've recently been diagnosed with HSV 2 genital herpes about 3 weeks ago. I was negative for HSV 1 but for HSV 2 I had an index level of 8.81. It literally shattered my world. I couldn't feel anything when the doctor told me. I felt like my whole world is over, I'm 23 and I'm a virgin. I only got intimate with three guys. I think i got it from the guy who rubbed himself bare on my vagina which also bare. He told me was clean but i guess not. What confused me was I never experienced an outbreak or cold sore. Th doctor told me i was asymptomatic. I feel like that's more scary than having an outbreak because you don't even know where your outbreaks will be located. I felt tears coming down my face and was shocked. What didn't help was the doctor who told me i had it didn't really show me any sympathy and i felt like he rushed me to get out of the office. He basically prescribed me with antivirals and told me to come back in 3 months. I felt lost and upset. I have nobody to talk to because I'm scared they will judge me.
The next few days I spent every minute researching and looking up everything about herpes. i feel like it scares me that i am asymptomatic. However, the past week I've been reading and watching a lot of inspirational stories, like Ella Dawson but this forum helps me a lot. But there's always this idea in my head that nobody would want a girl like me anymore like i am damaged goods. I'm talking to 2 guys in my life and i feel like they would leave me when i tell them i have herpes. To make matters worse, I used to have OCD and i feel like with this diagnosis i feel like its coming back. I'm so scared of transferring the herpes to my arms, legs, face, eyes and etc. I keep sanitizing my hands and afraid of touching down there. I am going crazy, every little thing that is happening to me i feel like its a herpes OB. I feel like i lost who am i and my life would be normal again...
However, I'm very happy to found this forum and read stories about people who have herpes. I'm learning so much from them and it makes me feel less lonely in this world.
I have a few questions that i hope you guys can help me answer.
1. If I'm asymptomatic, with genital herpes am i safe kissing guys? I'm so worried every time i kiss someone that i am potentially giving them herpes.
2. Is it possible to transfer genital herpes to your arms, legs, butt and etc if you have no OB?
3. I know that usually when you have HSV 2 that means you get OB on your genitals but how likely are you to get OB orally? How can you transfer it your mouth?
4. With a number that high, do you guys think i should retake another blood test to be sure?
Thank you! Hopefully, i will slowly find myself again...