Cecilia

@Aries - I am in my late 30's and also have a son that is close to your son in age. I felt the very same way. I had to seek help immediately. The doctor told me my first outbreak or prodone period could last 4 to 6 weeks. Yes, you will feel better but right now physically and emotionally you are feeling the way I believe most of us have all felt. Stay strong. Don't think this will end your relationship or change your relationship with your son. Yes, things will be an adjustment but life is full of crappy adjustments. You will have to feel the pain and you will grieve...much like a loss. Do NOT GIVE UP. I will tell you this site....especially @hikingGirl helped me get back on track. I got educated in what I had and how to lower my stress and be around "good" positive people that lifted me up. I went to the doctor and am currently taking Valacyclovir HCL 1 gram tablet per day. I will stay on that until we discuss more options after my next follow-up. I had to use lidocaine that was given to me also by the doctor because I was in so much pain for my first outbreak that lasted about 4 weeks and I will tell you I still felt off for months. My mother had to watch my son because I could not walk. I understand where you are right now...you will get through this. You will continue to be the person/mother you are. Terri Warren has a ton of information on H and I read a lot on it thanks to @hikingGirl - Please hang in there and know that you will get better and you are still the human being that you desearve to be and will be. Much Love - Cecilia

Hi Aries - I feel your pain on the first outbreak and trying to get your body to respond and comfortable and emotionally stable with dealing with the news. I had my very first outbreak in May and I have since relied on my family. I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I reached out to 3 true, honest girlfriends and both my parents and have found that it has made us closer. I am getting more emotional support from them but see my doctors because the outbreaks at times seem overwhelming. I believe you telling whom you feel comfortable with can give you some peace and protection. Just do what feels right. Hope you feel better - Cecilia

Hi @SPATX919 - I am still recovering from my first outbreak. I feel your pain and frustration ---It's like I can just not move like a regular person. I am now on the highest daily dose of Valtrex (for the next year). I have had a hell of a year so the doctor decided with my stress levels to keep me on after the 7 day dose - 3 times a day dose initially. I am having those muscle aches and terrible low back nerve aches that seem to keep me up and down all day. I too wonder what else can I do. How long will this last? I am taking two aleve a day to help but that doesn't do much. I too have the lidocaine and yes, it helps, but when will this subside is the real answer I know you are looking for. My doctor said this could be a 4 week thing and that the first year is difficult and this could be an off and on thing throughout that year. I take that as...even one is different and I need to make some adjustments to cope and stay positive through this stressful time. Daily aches can weigh on you. I am trying to make plans...give myself something to look forward to so that I can get my mind off the uncomfortableness. I know we have to grieve this too...but we also have to know that as you said we will get through this. PS -- I even ordered two pairs of lower chunky high heels because I thought... damn I don't think I can wear my high ones with these aches and walk. I know right now it doesn't seem funny but I am trying to laugh even through a lot of this darkness in the beginning.

Hi All -- Late post but I had to share. As some of you know I was shamed, blamed and felt humiliated by my boyfriend whom broke up with me when I received a call from my doctor I had HSV2 and reported it to him immediately last week. He was quick to state that he "better not have this" and "we will see who is lying".... Well i got my results back after my first outbreak yesterday negative for IgG. However, I know in about 3 months or less that will change. The swab was positive and I had a heck of a first outbreak. Much to my surprise I received a call today from my ex...his results came back positive for HSV2 at a 5. He of course said his life was ruined...he was screwed and claimed this must be false. He must retest and see a real doctor and not go through a lab for IgG testing....and that it is impossible. He stated this cannot happen to me.....shocking right?....everything I was thinking and crying to "myself" last week. Instead, of saying what I wanted to say which was (well not so nice)....I thought about this forum...what I have learned, how would a real human being diagnosed with HSV2 respond...thanks to all posts. I said... you are loved...you are a strong man...you will get through this...you will grieve...if you need me I am here. I honestly don't know if 5 is a high number? I told him about the Western Blot but if he repeats the IgG test and he gets the same results from a different lab he should maybe contact Terri Warren. He states he has had no symptoms. Much to my surprise he had done no research on HSV2 he said he had no outbreaks so there is just no way he has this even with the current positive result. He must retest. I let him vent. I listened. I could have been angry and screamed but then I thought? What will that ultimately do to help me heal? Nothing? All I can do is offer support...because that is the right thing to do. It will help me heal. It will give me the strength to let go of the anger, self loathing and maybe a little bitterness. After, I hung up...I gotta tell you I felt empowered! I mean yeah I have HSV2 and it will show up but I don't need this man to make me feel like I can still achieve things. I know he was in shock...just as I was a week ago. Stranded in a tunnel waiting to be recused. I truly had no hope...until I did. I woke-up. I got up. I checked in to MY life. Anyway....just thought I'd share. Oh and even through this earlier today with the call and the doctors follow-up...I ended the day celebrating my dad's 66th bday party. So overalll...lesson learned from all the posts...be kind...don't resent...move forward...be present... help people...listen...even if you feel they might have not been all you needed them to be for you in the past with your diagnosis....at least you can change the pattern. Goodnight/Good Morning Cecilia

Hi, I thought I would share today... seeing that I have been so graciously accepted by everyone on this site and received such wonderful information and guidance over the past couple of days as I begin to process my diagnosis of this disease over this past week. Of course, today would start with me making a following up with my OBGYN and the office saying my IgG was negative. I knew I had a positive swab (the week before) so this was a mere blissful moment of me thinking maybe....just maybe...I got a false positive swab result. HA! Very, very doubtful with the symptoms. So back to the doc in the morning to see what the next steps going to be. I am now better educated because I took some time to read a ton of info from Terri Warren. I read the updated version of her Herpes Handbook. So I am not holding out for a miracle here but I do feel more educated and I believe that I have a better understanding of what is happening in my body and what I can do (or have control over). I believe this will help my body image and self-confidence....also positive self talk is helping. Thanks to @HikingGirl who has followed up with me on questions and whom I feel is constantly contributing such useful, logical,educated and caring responses to delicate feelings and situations that some of us shy away from responding too... due to not maybe feeling like we can say something as eloquently. I will try to make responses to the courageous discussions put up by so many. Okay so back to the day... I took a shower today (woot woot) and looked at myself in the mirror...Today I didn't see Herpes...I did my hair and used my new fabulous simplehuman make-up mirror I got for mother's day and thought...I'm looking pretty good for 39. I even pulled out my fashion magazines and cut out some looks. Yes, as I mentioned to Adrial...I used to love fashion and for the past week I have not been able to put anything together or even look at my stack of recent arrivals.... due to me feeling like Herpes 2 has made me undesirable. However, that is negative talk and after I got ready (minus the burning sensations) I felt pretty darn great. I plan on spending a day with my father for his birthday Tuesday after my doctor's visit. Turning the music up loud to some of Prince's Greatest Hits and just being okay with not actually having a doctor deliver a death sentence but a chance to make me better. Yeah this sucks, but life doesn't always give us what we want. ---I think I'm going to put in The Rolling Stones's Greatest hits too... I've pretty much grieved the loss of the boyfriend who thought "he would find out who was lying" - His test results come back in the morning. However, it's been 5 days but hey 21 days to break a habit...not much longer to go. I know and have to keep reminding myself that I am the only one that can make me happy. I sat out in the sun today (okay shade) and watched the trees move with the wind on my back patio. Single...I felt empowered to make some changes in my life. I ate well today, drank some black tea and watched my son build a dig site over the flowers that had just been planted. I laughed. Isn't that what it is all about...this life gone so soon but those moments when we forget about everything feeding us negative vibes, self inner hatred and low self-confidence and laugh, even happy cry and enjoy the moments that go fleeting by...So many new memories to create now. I am going to choose to live in my new future. It's not perfect but new meanings will be found and journeys to be met. okay...blah blah blah. Have a nice evening/early morning. Cecilia

Thank you for the comment @feli71. I agree with you. I was in a 10 year marriage and really thought I had found someone after divorce that truly loved me. It's shocking to see how people respond...I question myself thinking he will change his mind....but honestly his initial response and calls since have been so shaming that I wouldn't want to have someone in my life like that respond to me when I am sick and tying to cope with any diagnosis. I understand his shock as my own...however shaming, blaming and then a total lack of concern for only himself is truly unbelievable. I did as you ask..is god trying to teach me something? I am not looking forward to him calling to tell me his results. I have thought...would he even tell the truth...he seems to be all over the place and not the person I thought I knew. I am sure he is thinking the same based on my test results and me not knowing. So I assume this is a regular response from a boyfriend and or spouse.. He kept telling me my test must be a false positive. He insisted I go back in and get a blood test...I did and I am waiting on the results...however my doctor has stated I have H. He waited 3 days after my diagnosis to even get tested. He is supposed to know next week. Thanks for the prayers. I will be thinking positive thoughts for you too. This week I am going to work on my diet and am planning on going to yoga. I have to change my outlook on this disease and become stronger with having rejection be something that happens. Thanks again.

I was just diagnosed with Herpes on Wednesday of this week. I had my first outbreak (last week) which I am still dealing with and it has been horrible. I am still in bed. My boyfriend whom is getting tested but swears he has never had this is blaming me (he lives out of state) and has decided to end the relationship no matter the outcome. If it was me... I did not know. I am not here to play the blame game... however, I am heart-broken, feeling desperate and shameful. It is like grief. I lost my brother this year and now I feel like this is another form of loss...nothing on that level but it is yet another form of tragedy to keep me inside and hidden from the world. I continue to be a recluse and am concerned about never leaving the house again. I was a vibrant 39 year old.. fun loving, happy, confident woman - whom loved to travel every other week, do yoga, be with my son and now I can barely move and find that even leaving the house puts me in an anxiety ridden panic. I did speak to a professional who said "this too shall pass". I know that in time I will have to accept it but I need support. I am hoping this website can provide me with some comforting knowledge on how to deal with the outside world now because it seems very scary to me. Rejection is occurring already...How can someone send you a loving text about how wonderful you are and how much they miss and love you and then the same day you call them with a diagnosis you are not expecting...crying and balling in pain and utter dismay and they say this isn't what I signed up for I will get tested but your a liar? It's over. Sorry for the over share --It is just a bit overwhelming...plus I am still in pain and trying to manage the symptoms of this disease and that is messing with my emotional stance due to the physical pain. I am open to any suggestions? Cecilia