Molly

Thank you Feli71

Indeed Katidid

Well guys, the wine wasn't a good idea. I phoned him. He didn't answer but messaged me. His 'reasons' were all over the shop - didn't contact me because I had my daughters with me on Sunday and he was at work (he was in the habit of messaging me constantly throughout his work shifts; yes, my daughters were with me on Sunday but that was 3 days ago); his adult son is in remission from cancer and he doesn't want to risk my herpes affecting his son. What the??? Anyway, that's that now. Done and dusted.

Thank you. I had a few tears as well

Thanks everyone. I sent a short polite text message acknowledging that I shared some confronting news, expressing how difficult is is for me to make myself vulnerable by disclosing and saying that I did so out of respect for him. I don't expect to hear back from him but I feel that I have maintained my dignity and integrity. I can put it to rest now.

Thank you everyone

Thank you HikingGirl. I feel his total lack of contact, whatever he is currently thinking, is cowardly and disrespectful. I am planning to give him another 3 days and then send the following email. I'd appreciate your thoughts. I'm presuming I know why I haven't heard from you and I can understand your reason (but not your mode of communicating it). I felt the sting of your rejection for a day or two but now I am just riled that you didn't have the decency to tell me. I am aware that I shared something confronting. Please understand how incredibly difficult it was for me to make myself so vulnerable. As heart wrenching as it is for me to have to deliver that news to a potential partner, I chose to do it out of respect for you and because integrity is high on my value set. In contrast, your response was cowardly, unkind, disrespectful and immature. If I'd been given the choice to be in relationship with someone with HSV-2, I don't know what decision I would have made. I guess it comes down to how terrific you think the person is. I wonder if you'd react the same way with a partner with cold sores. Same virus (different strain) but with less stigma. Your rejection has actually made me reaffirm my worth and, while I accept your decision, I know a worthy partner for me will look beyond the virus to see the person they were keen on before disclosure.

Hi All. I'm new here and hope I am posting in the right section. I am seeking support. I'm smarting from a post disclosure rejection. I am 58 and contracted HSV-2 8 years ago. It has been dormant for 7 years. I haven't passed it to a partner. I haven't had a relationship for 4 years and I don't do casual sex. I started seeing a man a few weeks ago. We had a 3 great dates on consecutive days where conversation was easy and we were both very comfortable. He followed up after the first 2 nights with messages about how gorgeous he thought I was and how much he enjoyed my company. On the 3rd date we agreed to spend more time with each other. I then returned to my home base 3 hours away. (I am about to move to the region where he lives.) In the 2 week interim before I visited his city again, we chatted via messenger constantly throughout the day (his job has lots of lulls and I'm not currently working) and had long phone calls at night. Our texting became sexually flirtatious and we both knew sex was on the cards when we saw each other next. We had our first kiss when we saw each other after those 2 weeks apart. We rode his motorbike to a lovely lunch spot where I initiated a talk about sexual health. I was concerned about his past habit of having unprotected sex. He had already willingly agreed to use a condom when we had sex. I led into my herpes disclosure which I'm confident I delivered in a positive and mature way. Ideally, I would liked to have had 'the talk' well in advance of any sexual activity but I wanted to wait to have a face to face conversation. I could see he was taken aback a little but we rode the 30 minute trip back to his place and had a wonderful afternoon of sex. The following afternoon he sent a message about some internet research he'd done. I suspected he meant he didn't want to be in relationship with me but when I said his message was unclear he still didn't articulate it. I thought perhaps I was jumping to conclusions and if I wasn't, that he really needed to tell me clearly. We had 2 prearranged social group events which we attended together one evening and one the following day. His kisses were only pecks. I stayed at his place after the evening event. He wore clothes to bed but slept with his arms around me all night. He dropped me at my friends place at 5pm the following day after the next social event and I haven't heard from him since. That was 3 days ago. I was hurt initially and now I'm just riled that he didn't have the decency to communicate his decision to me.

I'm a 58 year old female living in NSW, Australia. I contracted HSV-2 8 years ago and it has been dormant for 7. .I am smarting from a post disclosure rejection and looking for a buddy