yankees1234

Hi Everyone - First post - I'm dying for someone to talk to. I'm 24/m/straight and go to grad school in NYC. I got tested for herpes about two months ago because the last two people I had been sexually active with told me that they had suffered a breakout, and tested positive for Type 1. The first was a former long-term gf who I had unprotected sex with (and everything in between) like a zillion times. Right after we broke up (on good terms) she told me she had suffered a genital breakout. I was ignorant of anything herpes and didn't think much of it. The other girl was a more casual relationship I got into right after my breakup. We had performed oral sex on each other several times, but never did anything more than that. After like three weeks, she told me she had suffered an oral breakout. Once I realized there was a pattern, I kind of freaked out and got tested, and came back negative for Type 2 but positive for Type 1. My problem is that I never suffer anything that comes close to an outbreak. Ever. No tingles, no red bumps, definitely no sores; no nothing. (I guess some folks would say that's a pretty good problem to have). I've done a fair share of web surfing, and I believe the term for this is Asymptomatic, because I don't suffer any symptoms. But I could still be contagious when the virus sheds. My doctor told me it is impossible to determine where on my body I have it (oral or genital), unless he can take a sample from an outbreak; but if I never have an outbreak, I'll never know! So here's what has been spinning around and around in my head the last several weeks. If I have Type 1 oral, that's no big deal, right? It seems like a pretty good number of people have Type 1 oral, and there is less stigma than genital (for better or for worse). But if I have Type 1 oral, and I'm asymptomatic, and therefore have no indication as to what my cycle is, or when the virus is shedding, does that mean I can never kiss a girl again, ever, with disclosing to her first?? Jeeze, how am I ever going to be able to do that?? I understand the disclosure conversation in the context of a budding relationship, but in my experience, sharing a kiss comes a lot earlier on the relationship timeline than the point where most people are comfortable disclosing, right? Alternatively, I might have Type 1 genital. I almost wish I did, because that would be a little easier to manage. I could wear condoms, avoid oral sex :/, and not have to disclose until a later point in the relationship timeline (like, when my penis comes out, which would presumably be at a point where i'm a little more comfortable disclosing). But I'll never know which one I have, so what am I supposed to do!? How can I tell a girl who I just met that I definitely have Type 1 herpes orally or genitally, but it will be Russian Roulette finding out which one it exactly is? The uncertainty is killing me - I'm a little bit of a control freak, and this is something I have no control over. Help!