futurelawyer

It has been a year and a half and I'm not doing well. The only thing that reminds me that I have herpes is dating. I insist on telling the other person because that was a decision that was denied to me and I refuse to give it to someone else without them consenting to it. However, it is extremely exhausting/defeating/frustrating to have connections with people, tell them I have herpes, and feel them pull away no matter how great our connection was. I've had a couple try to push past the stigma but usually stigma and fear wins out a month later. I don't know how to deal with this. And i'm started to feel cursed or that I'm doomed to have to deal with this the rest of my life and it's getting me really depressed. To constantly have to be reminded that the ultimate deal breaker is that I have herpes and that most people find that bad enough to break things off even though everything else is going well. It's especially frustrating because it seems the thing keeping me from these connections is something I wasn't given the opportunity to consent to or decide for myself. I'm cursed/doomed to be alone because of what some asshole decided to do one night. How is this fair? Has anyone felt this way? And if so, were you doomed to be single forever? or is there hope?

Hey @corlissa, I was diagnosed about a year and a half ago after my "friend" sexually assaulted me. So. many. emotions. to. work. through. For me personally, the best way to process anything that I'm experiencing is to discuss it with people who have gone through it or are going through what I'm going through. That is particularly difficult when the thing I'm experience is at the intersection of two highly stigmatized things in our society that people don't really openly talk about: STDs and sexual assault. Hence the reason I joined this site. Please don't feel like it's necessary to respond but I thought you might also be looking to talk with someone who experienced something similar. Please feel free to message me if you want to vent/discuss!

@yourstrulyb same. I was dumped because he's scared that If he got it and we broke up he'd have to deal with the stigma while dating. So instead of breaking down that stigma he's chosen to reinforce it. Trying to stay positive and remember it signals it wouldn't have worked out anyways but it makes me really not want to go back out there. Especially since he was seemingly such a wonderful person. It makes me wonder if it'll ever happen. Thanks for posting, y'all <3

Hey everyone! I'm female, mid twenties, living in the dfw area. Just joined this online forum looking for some friends to be able to talk through all of this! Message me if you're interested. Anywhere on the gender spectrum welcome :) *I'm especially seeking support from people who also got herpes from being assaulted.