I don't know why this didn't post all the way.
But. To summarize the previous lengthy post.
I just wanted to say... I did it.
The guy I've been seeing since March. He's the first guy I've ever told.
I read from a letter I wrote on my phone. I tried to control my emotions, but I couldn't contain the tears.
When I told him earlier in the day that I'd be coming by later, because I had to talk to him, he thought I was coming over to break up with him.
So as I sat there and poured out my heart through the tears, his defenses came down and he sat beside me ... and cried with me.
He said. "I know what you're saying, and I want you to know... I'm not going anywhere."
Relief flooded my heart... but in the same token... I felt like he wasn't even thinking it through. So I made him promise to research and do some thinking and hard soul searching. We've only known each other for a few months. He promised he would, but said "I don't need time to think. I know what I want, and that's you. We'll get through this together".
So that's where we are.
He came over yesterday (the day after disclosing) and took me to the lake. Said he thought I needed to get out and smile again.
He hasn't brought it up again.
And his affection toward me hasn't changed.
But at times, when we're quietly driving... I worry that his mind is wandering, and maybe he's rethinking things.
I know the reality may hit him and he might change his mind.
But for now, I can breathe knowing that I have done the right thing. I have given him his right to decide about his health.
And even if he changes his mind (which I pray he doesn't), I feel extremely grateful for having the time I've had with him.
And the confidence in my ability to talk to someone I care about, about deeply important issues like this has rose a bit.
Thanks for reading.
And for being here in this community to offer support.
I love everything about this forum and have gained a lot of knowledge and strength from your stories.
xx