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TaintedLove

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TaintedLove last won the day on August 28 2019

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  1. @Missmissy Yes I’m having sex. I have HSV2 . I only did the swab not the blood test. I always felt kissing and oral sex is more intimate just my opinion. But they both have had sex with me just not oral or they haven’t kissed me in the mouth. Idk it’s just weird to mess with me and nothing come of it. If the situation was reversed I would make sure I see some type of future with this person first or maybe that’s just what I wanted. The last one really acted like he wanted to be with me. He kept thanking me for telling him and he said he trusted me and that made him want me more because being truthful meant a lot to him. I’m done after all that tho I’m go keep focusing on my children and making money. When I wrote that last night I was kinda sleepy but I had a lot on my mind at the moment. Sorry for the long rant.
  2. Last time I wrote on here was in the summer. I had a summer fling that recently just ended. It ended with us never being in a relationship . He lied about everything I ended up finding out that he had a girlfriend and she was pregnant. My heart was broken. I loved him. He lied about everything but the truth came out. So I get over him , well I tried too. It was so hard it still is . He never judged me he would never talk about the herpes thing. Once I found out about the other girl he told me that if she wasn’t pregnant he would be with me and he didn’t care about herpes. I wanted to believe him so bad. But we had to end it I couldn’t trust him.......So I met another guy. I try my hardest not to get close to guys but this guy was making it so hard for me. I felt like he adored me. He was just so into me. And I was loving it I was also a bit scared because of my situation. The crazy part is he 10 years younger than me. That scared me but he assured me that he was very interested in me. I wanted to wait before I told him but he was the type of person they wanted too ow everything upfront. So one day I wrote him a very long text. And to my surprise he took it very well. He told me by tell me one on my biggest secrets it made him want me more. And he wanted to get to know me more now. He told me that he wanted to take it to the next level with me if I would allow him too. I was kinda scared but I was so excited and confused all in one. He invited me over to his home the next day. We had sex with condoms of course. He was all on me he couldn’t take his hands off me. Two days later I spend the night we talked about us and having a future. We had sex he held me all night I was kinda uncomfortable but it was ok I was in his arms. The next morning we woke up talked , cuddled. I had to go home I had to work later that evening. We hugged and said our goodbyes And that was the last time I heard from him. That was 10 days ago. We’re friends on social media so I know he’s alive. I don’t get it what was the point of all that. I’m so sick of this I swear. No guy will ever love me for me no matter how hard they try. They will always see they I have herpes. I’m not worth the risk. They won’t even kiss me. I haven’t had a kiss in so long. They two guys I dealt love to kiss and have oral sex. They might feel like I’m useless and why be with some when I can’t have sex the way they want. So many thoughts go through my head. I tried to look on dating sites for people with herpes but it’s hard. I’m a very attractive woman. So many guys like me but they don’t know and I refuse to get close to and one and I have to tell them and get my heart broken again. And I’m definitely not messing with any one with out they knowing. So I’m just stuck HELP! I don’t want to give up but I have no choice. This is so hard. Why can’t true love just find me please. I just want to be happy and make someone else happy. I would love to meet someone with the same thing. We would appreciate each other more hopefully.
  3. @Rob1980 I’m happy he came to his senses. Being happy is a beautiful thing! I can’t wait until I find someone and I’m happy too. I wish you guys all the best ❤️❤️
  4. @Realityhurts just try to stay focused on your and your children the important things in life. Depression will eat you alive trust me I know. I battle with it almost everyday still and it’s been 2 years. My ex gave it to me I found out after we broke up. He knew he had it he just didn’t disclose it to me. I had a irritating spot in my butt too but my doctor didn’t think it was herpes but she just wanted to swabbed it to just to make sure. It sucks what your ex did to you. And I know huge hurt. It’s not a good feeling at all. It’s hard but it’s gets better. I use to say why me all the time , why not me? I blamed myself forever and I still do sometimes. I hated my self for so long I’m starting to love myself again l, I’m working on me and it’s a good feeling. 💕💕PM if you need someone to talk too.
  5. Have any one you guys ever use a HSV dating site? And found someone? I’m on 2 but I’m scared to show my face. 🤦🏾‍♀️ And I don’t have any success either.I think I’m going to finally upload a picture. I finally came to the realization that if your on the site you have it too. I just don’t want my business out there. I live a small miserable city that’s loves to gossip. I just don’t want to go through with being rejected again 😔😔😔. Wish me luck guys!!!! 🙂🙃
  6. @mr_hopp thanks for the advice, I saw him yesterday and he stated that he was sorry and he had a lot on his mind. Our energy was totally different. It wasn’t the same at all anymore. I felt so rejected. I was really in my feelings about all of this. He’s the first guy I really felt a connection with. I was lusting over him that’s all. This was the first guy that gave me butterflies and chills since my diagnosis over 2 years ago. I was still having sex with my giver up until September of last year. I felt safe and that was my comfort zone. I never let anyone come this close to me with the fear of rejection. So all those warm fuzzy feelings felt so good and perfect I guess too perfect. I guess the most confusing part for me was him having sex with me and then disappearing. That was just very odd to me. So I talk with my son’s dad about it by the way he’s not the giver just one of my best friend. I told him what happened and to please not judge me. But he said that maybe it was only about sex. He’s intentions was to have sex and he did. He said he didn’t care about my diagnosis if he did he wouldn’t of sex with me right after me disclosing. But he said it’s still confusing to him too and he said maybe he has it too. Maybe he does. I just don’t understand what person puts themselves in that situation. He stated that maybe he just wanted to have sex and by me disclosing to him is his way to ghost me after sex. It’s starting to make sense to me some. He just wanted to have sex with me no matter the cost I guess. I was all in my feelings because I thought it was because of HSV. I know this might seem stupid but I can deal with that better. I honestly feel better about the whole situation. He just keep trying to put on the role like he’s the same person. Oh well last learn. I swear I gave up at first and never wanted to disclose to any one or come close to anyone again. Buy know I’m a believer again. I will find Love!!!!! People aren’t that scared of HSV they just try to act like they are.
  7. @100918 I haven’t heard from him tho. We texted a couple times the next day then he stopped replying and answering my calls. I texted him one last time and told him that I won’t text or call him anymore and I apologize for everything. He never replied back. I don’t know what to think. Why would he have sex with me and tell me that everything was still the same? I felt hopeful about us. I’m trying to stay positive and optimistic but it’s hard.
  8. @glassovy I’m like you right now I disclosed and now I feel like he has rejected me. He told me that he didn’t have a problem with and he still wanted to be with me but he’s acting different. He was very much in shock tho. I feel so awful. I just wish he would have kept it real.
  9. I really don’t know how to feel right now. I’ve been talking this guy, we live in the same but recently got acquainted with each other. Things have been moving pretty fast with us and I’ve been feeling like I’ve been really needed to tell him. Things have been getting hot and heavy lately and I haven’t had sex in about 9 months. I just feel like I was betraying him and being deceitful but I swear I’m not. He’s the first person that I’ve gotten this close too since my diagnosis. So I finally did last night he took the news ok, he was definitely in shock. We ended up having sex last night with a condom of course. But I just feel really weird now. Today he seems a dryer than usual I asked him if he had and questions or concerns, I tried my hardest to educate him too. He claims that he’s ok with and nothing change with us and he still wants us to eventually be together. But honestly I don’t know if I believe him. I’m so hurt but I am really happy that I told him. I also told him last night to please be honest and tell me if he don’t want to pursue this anymore it’s very understandable. I need some input about this.
  10. @[email protected]_hopp thanks for the advice. I just watched the video and it makes so much since. I like his approach. I don’t want to scare him away. I have to approach him the right way I’m looking forward to a positive outcome. I’m about to watch the video again. Thanks!!!!
  11. I finally met someone after 2 years of dealing with HSV. I don’t if it’s a summer time fling or what but it feels so right. I haven’t felt this good in a very long time. I haven’t been a man’s presence that I liked in a very long. I get butterflies when I’m around him. He keep me smiling. We took a really long walk on the beach last night. I felt normal again. We walked and talked about our past relationship and what we wanted in life. I wanted to to tell him so bad but I know it’s to early but I also know I can’t wait for ever and tell him either. How when do you disclose? I hate asking my friends or family because they don’t have it so they don’t get. They just like don’t tell him at all then one was like just cut it off before it gets to deep. I’m like I’ll never find anyone if that’s how I’m going to go about the situation. I don’t know what to do.
  12. I’m a 38 year old black women looking for friends/dating in the Milwaukee/ Chicago area. Honestly it don’t matter where you live I’m trying to leave the mid west any way lol. I’m a single mother and a nurse looking for love, support and new friends. I was diagnosed 2 years ago and I’ve been single every since. I’m a pretty good catch where I live I’m just afraid to disclose the truth. DM if you want to chat.
  13. Hey I looked into meetup I’m waiting on them to accept my request to join. I just want to meet someone in the same boat as me. I feel like we might appreciate each other more. Well I hope that’s the case.
  14. Hey where is everyone from? I’m in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Anyone from the Wisconsin or Chicago area? I’m a single black female that wants to make new friends and discuss what we have in common. I know my friends and family are tired of me. They don’t understand what I’m going through.
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