Hi @Farmerclay and welcome! Kudos to you for doing research on your own and stumbling upon this forum! There is a category called "My partner/loved on has herpes" where people such as yourself have posted. Browse some of those responses for sure.
It is possible to not contract it without using condoms. I've read that when having sex with a person without condoms and without antiviral therapy, and avoiding intercourse during an outbreak, the risk of contracting it in any given year is 4%. With the use of daily antiviral therapy on her part it is cut down to 2%. Daily antiviral therapy decreases the amount that the virus sheds thus decreasing the chances of transmitting to a partner. There is still a risk, but it is a small one. If she is established with the virus and knows her body, like the signs of impending outbreak, she will also be able to help keep you protected by avoiding intercourse during those times.
The only time that HSV impacts a pregnancy are the following two situations:
a. a woman NEWLY acquires an HSV infection while pregnant
b. a woman has an outbreak at or near the time of delivery
If b. happens, then they would do a C section to prevent the baby from contracting the virus during delivery. I've read that they typically put women on suppressive antivirals around 36 weeks of pregnancy up until delivery to prevent that from happening.
As for other advice, just be open to it and what she has to say. Educate yourself, as you already are, and accept her unconditionally. Unconditional support from those we love is so important