Angryandhurt

@Hiking Girl, When my Ex and I started dating, I hadn't been with anyone but my own hand for the last 3 years. And I always washed my hands before and after lol So I am certain, I didn't get it from anyone else.

I haven't been on in awhile and hadn't seen the responses until today. I am sure i do seem to be the sad bitter Ex. I hate this bitch to my core for what she did or potentially did to me. Before I actually post my question I had told her Brother and Best friend that she was infected, which of course, went right back to her, and she was very angry with me telling me it was none of her friends or families business that she had anything and that she was going to sue me etc. I told her please, sue me so we can get your disease into Public record. I told her I was going to tell everyone she was infected, her coworkers, family, friends of ours. She said why did I want to humiliate her like that and I said because you fucking knew you had Herpes and insisted to me you were clean when you knew from the get go that you were not. She didn't give me the option to make my own decision sexually. To be honest, had she told me she had Herpes, I'd have left and never returned. My biggest mistake was I married this bitch, because I thought my life was ruined. Who would want to sleep with me if I had Herpes? So we were married for 11 years, most of them unhappily, because I hated her for what she did to me. I posted the question more so because I believe that I know one of her co-workers introduced her to this new boyfriend, and I wanted to reach out to her to let her know what a piece of shit my ex is and that she needs to warn her friend that he needs to get to a Doctor for a check up. So of course that will make me the Mad Ex or whatever, but I can not let it go. I want her to suffer, indignity, shame, ostracation, and pain and humiliation. In the end will that change anything as far as me having Herpes? No. I need to go and have the tests done so I can know for certain I am infected or not. I have only had one or two cold sores in the last 11 years and never anything near my genitals. Whereas I have seen the blisters on her Clit, Labia, and even once on her ass cheek. So I know for a fact she has Genital Herpes and in our 11 years together she picked up one script for Valtrex and then never took it. So for our marriage she showed no concern for my sexual health which then led to me not wanting to have sex with her. If we had sex 20 times in 11 years I would be surprised. In my State I have looked it up and It is not a crime to not disclose Herpes to a Partner because it is considered a skin infection as opposed to HIV where you can be criminally charged for non-disclosure. The most I can do is file a civil case against her and sue for mental anguish, and make her pay for treatments, pain and suffering, etc. And I told her I was going to do that once I've been tested. My Doctor, when I first found out she was infected, said that I probably would test positive for it since I had had unprotected sex and had the cold sore but then he never did actually do any testing. So once I get health Insurance (Lost coverage in the Divorce) I plan to go back to him and say Test me! Don't assume, I want to know for a fact one way or the other. If I am positive, I will definitely be looking at suing her at the least. This whole situation has me screwed up in the head. Maybe I'm clean and an worrying about nothing? Maybe I'm not. I am so full of hate at her and rage. This isn't something small like a broken dish, this can effect the rest of my life. My Dad did me wrong when I was a Teen, I haven't spoken to him or forgave him in 30 years. This bitch exposed me to something far worse, and I will never forgive her for that. And if I can ever figure out who gave her the idea that as long as you don't have an outbreak you don't have to tell them. They are in for an ass kicking. Funniest thing is, I'm the one who doesn't know for certain, but at least I'm attempting to gather more information, she IS infected and has never shown a concern about it.

When I started dating my girlfriend she insisted she was clean. Then I developed a cold sore and she broke down and told me she had Herpes. I found out later that she had know quite some time before we met that she was infected. She is now dating some other guy and I am positive that she hasn't told him she is infected. Would it be wrong of me to let her friends know that she has Herpes and they need to warn her partner before she infects him. If he knows and doesn't care then that's on him, but I feel I need to make sure he has all the facts in the most likely event she hasn't told him

My story is probably similar to some and crazy to many, but here it goes. I met this girl online and we messaged back and forth and after some time we had decided to date. Second or third date she asked if I wanted to go to the bedroom (we were making out on the couch). I'm a guy, so I said sure. As we were getting undressed she asked if I had a condom. I had not expected sex so I did not. She asked if I was clean, I said yes, she asked if I was absolutely sure and I said yes I haven't had sex in a year or so, so I asked her if she was clean and she assured me she was and we had sex. One day a few months into our relationship I noticed a sore on the inside corner of my mouth that hurt and burned and I told my girlfriend and she started crying. I said why are you crying, I'm the one with the cold sore it doesn't hurt you.And then she told me, "I may have given you something", I said what are you talking about? And she said I have Herpes. I was stunned. I didn't know what to say. She said she would understand if I dumped her, but in my mind I figured I was screwed and would never find someone so I said we will work it out, and we continued dating and I proposed to her and we started planning to get married. I told her the most important aspect to marriage to me was going to be sex and intimacy otherwise you're roommates who share bills and have occasional sex. She said she understands and we started having more sex. Up until I said I DO, and it all went downhill from there. Sex became non-existent. I asked my Doctor about testing me for Herpes and he said if I had a cold sore I would test positive for Herpes. This was in 2008 ish, and either he was to lazy or they couldn't test for 1 or 2?? But he said if I never had a Genital Outbreak then I would be fine. I really only married her because I thought she had ruined my life and I had no choice. I know, it's stupid. Well needless to say our marriage broke up and she moved out last October and the Divorce was final this past March. Two weeks after the Divorce was final she posted in Social Media that she was in a Relationship. So, I lit into her, not for most likely cheating on me before the marriage ended, cause we hadn't had sex in a few years together, and I was cheating as well, but I asked her if she had told the new guy she had Genital Herpes and she said it's non of my or his business. And I said, how are you in a relationship, if he doesn't know the whole truth so he can make his own decision? I said are you going to wait until he's infected before you tell him like me? I told her if on day one as we were getting undressed and you said you had Herpes I would have said I was going for a condom and never come back or talked to her again. I told her I only married her because I felt she had ended my life and once I had found out that I was probably not infected I was done with the marriage and the only reason I stayed was because we had great Neighbors and I loved where we moved and had started a Business. I am now ready to find another relationship yet I am haunted by the thought that I could be carrying the virus and pass it to another partner. I have never had any genital outbreaks and never have had another cold sore although if I get a pimple by my mouth I freak out.