new2this2017

I have the same question, but I am GHSV1 and he is HSV2. I am sure somewhere on this website this question has been asked but I was diagnosed in Apr 17 with genital HSV1. I have recently met someone who has HSV2. He talks about sex and says its ok that I have it genitally because basically its the same thing. I have never had any sores or blisters since this happened. Only itching and occasional nerve pains. It was found via Pap and appeared to be on my cervix. I am happy to say I met someone who understands but I am terrified at the same time that I can catch HSV 2. I have read its much worse and hurts like the devil. So the question is can you catch both genitally? I don't want to judge another for herpes but after my diagnosis I am doing everything in my power to take care of me first and I do not want to deal with the HSV2 if possible. Please don't judge, just wanting facts before I let this relationship begin.

@kiti_ara-I am glad you joined this discussion. I am sure somewhere on this website this question has been asked but I was diagnosed in Apr 17 with genital HSV1. I have recently met someone who has HSV2. He talks about sex and says its ok that I have it genitally because basically its the same thing. I have never had any sores or blisters since this happened. Only itching and occasional nerve pains. It was found via Pap and appeared to be on my cervix. I am happy to say I met someone who understands but I am terrified at the same time that I can catch HSV 2. I have read its much worse and hurts like the devil. So the question is can you catch both genitally? I don't want to judge another for herpes but after my diagnosis I am doing everything in my power to take care of me first and I do not want to deal with the HSV2 if possible. Please don't judge, just wanting facts before I let this relationship begin.

@tooyoungtocrumble I was tested on a yearly basis for all STD's and always came back clean at least in the last ten years I started testing. I actually was tested on 2-3-17 and got the all clear. However I hadn't met my awesome giver at this point and he fessed up that he had 1 & 2 and basically I just needed to get over it (of course after I showed him my blood results) WOULD HAVE BEEN GOOD TO KNOW THIS INFO BEFORE HAVING SEX WITH THIS IDIOT. I have had cultures done, one came back with zero yeast but a bacterial infection. I was on ampicillin at 500 four times a day for ten days. I was prescribed diflucan three times and the itch always returns. I think this is HSV 1 being newly acquired and it's my body's way of fighting it......but I won't let it get me. I am 46 and have a whole life to live so this is pretty petty and I want everybody to know on here that we are not alone. This effects millions of people and it really is just a skin condition. A very annoying one in a bad place but just a skin condition. If I hear one more person say how awful people are that have it I am going to scream. So judgmental and ignorant at the same time. Also my index value for the HSV 1 came back most recently at 1.68. My doctor said "basically you really don't have anything". WHAAAAAA? Doctors as so uneducated. Sad that in this day and age there is no cure for this. I hope in my lifetime I can see that happen.

@yamahjam and @WideAwake17....I am glad you asked these questions because I am wondering the same thing also. I was diagnosed 5 months ago with genital HSV1. I know exactly who gave it to me an to spare everyone the details, he scrammed at the first questions I started to ask him when I found out. Here's where I am totally confused. I have friends who contracted the HSV 2 many years ago so I thought I learned from their experience but apparently not. I really thought herpes would hurt and be so painful that you can't walk and will need to be admitted to a hospital just to pee because its so bad. Since I found out (through a pap smear on my cervix), I have experienced what I guess are the "signs of a possible outbreak". My doctor started me on Valtrex the day I was told about the test. So I have never experienced any blisters/sores or pain in the capacity I am reading about. I also understand genital HSV1 has less outbreaks that HSV2. But I thought the symptoms would come and go like a little itch here and then sometimes a burning sensation inside my vagina. Again I am on the daily suppressive meds so I don't get why this is constantly coming up. The most I have gone is a week without symptoms but my question I really want to know is what does genital HSV 1 feel like? Am I not letting my body have a full blown outbreak and it just keeps lingering hoping it can pop up and start the blisters? Don't get me wrong I have read these forums and HSV2 sounds so painful and my heart goes out to people that have it as my partner had 1 & 2 and I somehow I only caught HSV1 from oral sex. Sorry to sound so "uneducated" but my doctors downplay this, telling me no need to disclose because it can't be spread. I just want to say for the record, it will get disclosed if and when I decide to ever have sex again. They just give me meds and I have had two blood tests both showing HSV1 positive using IGG, and negative for HSV2. The last being a week ago so that was right at 18 weeks so I feel that I may be ok for not having HSV2. I just don't understand they symptoms. My close friend told me this is a yeast infection, not herpes. I tried two yeast treatments, itching still comes back. Burning returns. I have discovered tea tree oil and as soon as I put that on my hoo haa, all is well. Since the smell is overwhelming, I only use it at home. At work I use the Walmart brand Vagicaine and it numbs it. However I am constantly battling this with meds, creams, money, depression, anxiety, doctor bills, etc. I guess I don't know what genital HSV1 should feel like and everyone is different. I keep hearing the first year is the worst. So is this itching/burning going to finally taper off in 6 months or so? And would you even call those "outbreaks". Since mine is on my cervix, I am assuming the outbreak is happening on the inside and in turn produces itching/burning? Didn't mean to write a book but this website has been a lifesaver. Just wondering if anyone else feels what I am going through. Any advice is welcome. Thanks for listening- New2this2017

@MILO, are you taking any of the medications? I was immediately started on the anti-virals from day one. I will say the times when this disease is not visiting my female parts I actually go into a fairy tale thinking the diagnosis is wrong. It usually returns within a few weeks to remind me "it's still here". Here is the crazy part. I deal with depression,(15 years) anxiety and surprisingly have done well with handling this. The meds and therapy have been a life saver. I was really down at first and couldn't think of telling anyone about it. I have eventually told my mother and two close friends. I will say, they have been nothing but supportive. I feel like right now you are just processing this. Give yourself some time. I refuse to let the a-hole who gave this to me ruin my life. He owns a multi million dollar company and if you only knew how bad I want to destroy everything he has. I quickly reminded myself he had more money to do more damage to me than I did to him. And just a side note....I had always been careful with picking partners. I was the one who had condoms in the nightstand just in case a guy didn't have one. I really thought there was nothing about this guy to even think he had anything. Looking back now there were signs. It's all in the past-I have to go on and so will you. That girl that I used to be is still here, she has just changed her outlook on life and stuff in general. We are still good human beings. Nothing changed other than a silly "skin condition" and MILO that's all it is. 1 in 6 adults in this world have this. That is a lot of people walking around. Hang in there and keep reading the blogs on here. They have helped me a ton. Stay in touch and just know your not alone. New2this2017

@ash2018-I have come to realize that herpes is so "taboo" that nobody wants to hear they have it. I have never married and probably at this phase in my life I am not sure I even want to date again. I cannot imagine how to tell someone about this. I feel like it already is hard to deal with rejection, but this kind is a whole other level. I have read Ella Dawson-she is a god send and quite the educated young lady. I wish I had her attitude toward all of this. I guess that will come in time. I have read several of your post-I thank you for all of your advice. I know it has to be hard on those days when you just want to run and hide. I think each of us supporting one another on here is therapy and will eventually make you realize that there are so many people fighting this disease daily and have the same thoughts. Going to see the TED talk. I need some inspiration right about now. Thanks for listening. :)

MLIO-please take a breath and just listen. You are not a leper. None of us are. I was diagnosed in April 2017. I am a 46 yr old female. Not the diagnosis I wanted but it's what life handed me. Please stop for a minute to think what you will put close friends and family through by thinking these thoughts. I too went through the same process. It will get better. I promise. You made a mistake, we all did. I was immediately in denial and very angry with the person that gave this to me. But what I have learned in these last few months is that it got my attention, slowed me down, and made me realize that I do deserve someone who will accept me for me. You are in the first phase. Please tell someone close to you if you are having suicidal thoughts. This is not your ending. You are a worthy human being and you will find love again. I believe with all my heart think this for myself and have read the inspirational stories on this website. I have been also going to therapy. This has helped me tremendously. Hang in there-it will get better. Please take care of yourself. New2this2017

Hi ash2018. My numerical result on the IgG for HSV 1 was a 2.13 index. I have read so much on this topic that I am beyond understanding how it works. When so many doctors seem to not even know answers how are we ever gonna know? My gyno was so sure that this wasn't a big deal that I look back now and think she only said the right stuff to get me to stop crying and freaking out. Her nurse that I spoke with several more times was actually disagreeing with her but had to be careful about what she said. She talked to me one day when the Dr was out and explained that HSV1 has become so prevalent in younger people because they do not realize that cold sores can spread from mouth to genitals. I have yet to experience a horrible outbreak. Not sure why I have been spared these last four months since the diagnosis. I have accepted that I am not alone. I am sorry about your story too. Yes, one strain is enough. And back to the blood test, I was astounded by my gyno not wanting to re-test me as I even knew the blood work was too soon. I hope my primary doctor will do it tomorrow but if not I am going to do it on my own. I have to know for peace of mind. And I have just recently begun the process of accepting and forgiving. It was and still is a hard thing to accept. If this matters, his blood work showed an IgG of 39.4 for HSV 1 and 8.98 for HSV 2. He sent me a copy via text since he couldn't speak to me in person. I was very surprised because I did not believe he even had the test done but he was tested on 4-25-17. His reaction to me telling him first was like as though it was a non-event. That is why I believe by his numerical results that he has had this for quite some time. I will never know. Thank you for listening and sharing your story. I just joined today and already feel so much better that I am not alone. I just want my life back.

Hi ash2018. I would be more than happy to answer your questions. First thank you about the HSV1 "transmission" info as I had read so much on the internet my head is still spinning. I last had sex with this man on April 2, 2017. The visit to care center was on March 28, diagnosed with UTI. My PAP test was on April 12, 2017 with results showing HSV 1 on cervix April 20. I had blood work done on April 26th as I also went back with horrible itching and a culture was done showing "bacterial infection". And doctor also started me on Valtrex Apr 20 just in case the primary outbreak was to come. Got positive blood results back on May 3 showing HSV 1. Negative for HSV 2. I realize the timing is not enough to develop antibodies. I have a doctor appointment in the morning and will beg my primary doctor to do a follow up blood test. My gyno did not seem to think another test was needed. At this point, it will be at 17 weeks. I am very apprehensive about finding out but have got to know. Also the blood test performed was IgG. I heard that is the most accurate of all. And last but not least, I had a full testing of ALL STD's including HSV 1 & 2 on February 3, 2017. That is how I know it was this man. I believe he knew all along and just thought it would never show up with me since he had never once had an outbreak. Have not really believed his story but at this point it is what it is.

Wow after reading your story you really got my attention. I have recently been diagnosed with genital HSV-1 in April 2017. Just a short version of my story. I am a 46 year old female not new to the "online dating" scene. I have over the past 16 years been on again off again with "online dating". I was warned repeatedly by friends who contracted STD's from one major site (not going to name), that they told me to be very careful. I however threw caution to the wind after starting to date in January 2017. I met a guy whom I wasn't very attracted to, had no real feelings for at the beginning, but started to fall for him after a month. Of course sex came into play-he was charming, respectful, and for the most part a decent human being. What I did not know was he also was still married, had HSV 1 & 2, and had zero intentions of ever telling me. After a few weeks of heavy sex, I let him have oral with me in a span (and I kid you not, of about 30 seconds). He did not give me oral for long at all as we were both super horny and wanted to have intercourse. Within a week or two I came down with what I thought was a UTI. Ended up in a non emergency care center and basically got antibiotics. Just by luck it was my time to get a PAP smear and all the female test for my yearly exam. When they called me back to tell me my results I knew something was different. She asked me "can you talk for a minute?". I of course was so worried it was cancer as my grandmother had ovarian cancer. Nope. She then says "everything looked normal except for your cervix". "It showed cellular changes consistent with Herpes". I literally was in a conference room at work and was about to collapse. I asked her to repeat this. She did. Same story. Now telling this man what had happened was quite interesting. He denied everything, said it must be someone else, etc. I told him I was getting blood test and he agreed to also. I could never get an answer from him or the name of any kind of doctor. One week to the day of the cervical diagnosis, I also received my blood results. Positive for HSV-1. Blood test do not confirm where but it was obvious if it was on my cervix. I blasted him over dinner with my results in hand. He fessed up to having HSV 1 and 2 and saying he also had blood work showing this. I was devastated. This man thought once we found out I only had HSV 1, that we would stay together and only have protected sex going forward. How could I stay with an a-hole like this? You cannot expect me to ever trust him again. Needless to say, he and I have gone our separate ways, no communication for over a month and I am positive he has gone back out on the major "online dating" website and re-activated his profile for the next victim. I am being told genital HSV-1 is not able to be transmitted from genitals to genitals. I have also read that is incorrect as well. I am on the daily suppressive therapy but every few weeks or so I get itchy, some pains that are so strange and generally just depression. I have never seen any blisters or sores, just this strange "nerve pains" that pulse through my female area. They don't stay long and then they are gone for a few weeks and back. Just long enough to remind me I have herpes. The reason your story got my attention was my doctor has told me there is "no need to disclose" as with genital HSV-1 you cannot give to anyone. I find this crazy and am the type of person who could not go any further in a relationship unless I do disclose. My friends/family tell me it's ok to go back out there but to use caution and just don't say anything. I can't imagine giving this to someone else. I didn't get the choice and I don't want to do it to them. Your story reminded me of "what not to do" when and if I decide to go out into the dating world again. Right now I am still processing this as I had been tested for STD's for the last 10 years every year thinking I was in the clear. It only takes one person. I am not a "whore", as I have had in the 15 year span of dating, five relationships that lasted 2 or more years. I once was that girl that made the "herpes" jokes and made sure it came up in conversation on dates that "ewwww, who would want to date someone with that?". Now I am getting paid back. Thank you for sharing your story. I will always disclose as I am an honest human being and like you do not want to pass this along to anyone. However before I end my story-back to yours. I don't think you are this horrible person who intentionally infected this young man. You at this point aren't even sure he has it, he just hasn't returned your texts and it may be that he is running scared from "thinking" he may have contracted it. We all make mistakes. Forgiveness. I am learning that word. It's a hard pill to swallow. Take care of yourself and just learn from your mistakes going forward. I know I sure am. New2this2017