Carlychanel

I live in Southern California and have been trying to look for a doctor that specializes in HSV treatment. I feel like there must be ONE in this huge general area of LA/OC/San Diego but I haven't found anything searching online. Any suggestions/recommendations from anyone in CA? Should I just start by going to a gyno or...? Thanks guys!

Couldn't agree more! I definitely had my stage of bitter and "poor me" feelings but the mer dating experiences I have post-diagnosis the more I realize it's a great way to weed out the good guys VS the bad guys so to speak. And it's definitely great to think of it as you are! I'm actually thinking about disclosing to the person I've been seeing the past couple weeks because I feel like it's starting to go in a more serious direction and have been really fearful cause I can't really gauge how he'll take it. But I'll definitely keep this in mind, at least it means I have a potential future with this person and they're important enough to tell. And if it doesn't work out and they can't be open minded enough to deal with it, then they aren't "the one" anyways. Thank you so much for this post!

Brenda and Kristen really said it all! (Thanks for the advice for ALL of us readers!). I'm 22 and have been dealing with all this HSV business for only 3 years and although it's been a roller coaster for myself, and a continuous learning experience, it really has made me look at myself in a new light. I still have my own ups and downs, whether I'm just having an emotional day about it all or stressing about dating but at the end of the day it really has caused me to constantly remind myself of my own self worth and look at the positive within myself. As Brenda said, remind yourself of how amazing you are because just the fact that you have the courage and strength to come on here and discuss all this with everyone on here proves that you must have a good soul in there :) I hope things continue to look up for you and like Brenda said, keep us all updated as we're here for support too! <3

Positive thinker, Let me start off by saying I'm in awe at how amazingly you're handling the situation and I give you ENDLESS kudos for your whole attitude towards this and I think, for myself at least, I could take a lesson or 2 from you hah. I've had my diagnosis for almost 3 years now and I'm just barely getting to the state of acceptance that you're currently expressing. I've also not found the courage to tell either of my parents although, luckily, my big sister has been a great support. I'm 22 and was diagnosed at 18. I had a really traumatizing painful first outbreak too (mostly cause it never even crossed my mind it could be herpes, I just assumed it was a yeast infection). I completely agree its awful that STD testings don't include herpes considering its the second most common one out there :( But back to you! I agree with what others before me said in that its a shame your step father isn't more supportive but please listen to your partner in that you are still YOU and listen to yourself in that you are worth more than your herpes! That made me happy to hear you say, especially so early on in your journey with this. Always remember that. Just as the guy who passed the hsv into you isn't as evil as your parents are making him, I'm sure your parents aren't as awful for responding as they are than most would think. Although support from the get go would be far more beneficial to you, I'm hoping and thinking that this may just be their defense mechanism for thinking they failed to protect their child. Continue to be open, aware, and POSITIVE as you already are! Your strength is inspiring to me, really :) <3

Thank you Judith! Ill definitely do some research on both of those things. Like Adrial said though, it's a trade off! If you're also still getting breakouts every month (if not more) I'm sure it wouldn't hurt to try the daily meds for a little while at least and then try to stop them after a bit as I'm trying to do. And for me, the tradeoff has been worth it because even though I dont have a bf or anything serious, the outbreaks an worrying about getting one still cause me personal stress and emotional turnoil so not having to worry about that has been worth the tradeoff so far for me. But I commend you for trying to suppress them yourself in more natural ways! Good luck <3

It wasn't too long ago, a few months maybe. But I guess I never realized how big a factor stress is on outbreaks so that may have been a factor for sure. I always have, and even more so after learning more about hsv, lived a healthy lifestyle. So I'll just keep trying to wean off, maybe at a time when my stress level is lower. Thanks for the advice :)

I have had HSV2 for 3 years now. My outbreaks were so bad and so continuous that I started taking daily medication for it about 6 months after my diagnosis. I've been having to take the valtrex daily since then still to this day. I've tried on a couple occasions stopping the medicine and I almost immediately get an outbreak :/ I was mostly just wondering how many other people out there have the same problem? Because I've read many places that most people's outbreaks die down after the first couple years so I'm mostly concerned 1. Why mine aren't and 2. If taking the medicine every day for so many years is really okay for me health-wise since I haven't been able to find much info on this. Thanks for the help!

I think, as I've seen on here before, that the greatest problem with herpes (or many STI's for that matter) is that talking about them is taboo. If you even talk to someone about getting tested or anything surrounding the discussion of such things, they either reflect their discomfort back on you by making a joke or accusing you of having something. When in reality, EVERYone that is sexually active should be on top of their checkups. I found out a year into dating my first serious boyfriend in college. The sad part is, we had both been having small symptoms here and there for many months before my initial outbreak but due to the lack of information we had on STI's, we never put 2 and 2 together (which I find the most embarrassing part of my own personal struggle with all this). I was the only one that had actually had sex with other partners in our relationship so, naturally, I tried contacting my past relationships first. I ended up at a dead end. So, even though my ex had never actually had sex, I told him he needed to contact his most recent "hook ups" prior to getting into a relationship with me a year earlier. He found out from the first girl he contacted that she didn't find out she had it until after he was already with me and I guess she just never cared to tell him...? So both my ex and I ended up getting it. And then he cheated on me 2 months after my diagnosis but that's another story I suppose hah. The main source of all my turmoil with my HSV diagnosis was this that if all three of us had been more educated on STI's, this whole awful chain of miscommunication could have easily been prevented. And honestly, I think a lot of us have hit a pretty dark/low point within ourselves after our diagnoses but at some point you have to choose to start putting your chin back up and realizing your worth! The most simple thing I've ever read that stuck with me for years is "you are not herpes: you have herpes". So if anything, please remember that. Stay strong!

Hey D. I just want you to know, I'm completely in the same boat as you. I'm only 22, single (and endlessly looking lol) and although I've only had a couple people that I was dating that I have disclosed to so far, I promise it gets easier! Believe me, I have my days, and the stress surrounding dating and how and when to tell someone, and who is worth telling, still continues to be a struggle to me. It will be 3 years this August since my diagnosis (wow, that's the first time I even thought about the timeline of this for me) and my first year and a half or so after my diagnosis was my GREATEST struggle, and I couldn't even pull myself together enough to try and date ha so at least you're showing strength in ways you don't even know. I don't know you, but the fact that you're even here on this site tells me you're probably an amazing, honest, caring girl that will be a total catch to the one who is worth it. I like to think of my HSV as my second brain when it comes to dating, it helps me consciously weed out the ones that have good intentions and are worth my time against the ones who can't see past the HSV and just see me and love me for ME, not what I have. You are not your diagnosis, you are a beautiful human just like everyone else. And the kind of guy you want to keep in your life will see that :) Hope this helps in the least bit. Stay strong, stay amazing <3