PositiveThinker

Back when I thought I had razor burn (aha), it was only when my glands swelled up in my groin that I realized I had an infection of sorts. It doesn't necessarily mean its herpes though! It would be a handy warning though eh?

Thank you everyone, I feel very much understood and grateful for your comments. I've perhaps been a little hard on my parents, behaving angrily towards them for feeling sorry for me.. Thank you all for being the strong, supportive team I need right now! Lots of love xx

Hi everyone, my name is Abby. I just turned 21 and I've just contracted herpes from an asymptomatic partner. I've had the most agonizing week of my first outbreak (my immune system is pretty poor anyway so it was pretty severe). I'm coming out the other side of it now, having learnt a great deal about the condition and its effects. I suppose maybe the reality of having this for life hasn't really hit me yet, but I'm trying to be as positive as I can. I felt a little upset about the effect it may have in starting a relationship with someone in the future. I went to my parents for a cuddle and support, but they seem to be dealing with it worse than me. My mum says that she feels like I've been raped and am keeping the baby, or it feels like a diagnoses of HIV or cancer. My step dad has basically told me it is going to ruin my life, that I'll live a normal life, but it wont be easy by any stretch of the imagination (he contracted herpes when he was 19 years old and has lived with it). He tried to tell me how nasty and awful its going to be. I felt I had to defend myself to my own parents and tell them that I will lead an absolutely great life, that its not the end of the world and that I need their support not their negativity if I am to deal with this properly. It made me more determined to find an empowering meaning for this, and so I discovered h-opp which gave me such relief as I'm sick of all desperation and being told that my life is over. How to I convince my parents to support me in the right way? At some point I'm going to need them to remind me that I'm worth more than my herpes, and right now I feel like if my parents think its such a big deal, how is a future boyfriend going to respond to it? I also never really went through the resentment phase towards the guy I got it from. We both were tested at the clinic before doing anything, but they don't even test for herpes (which is what I'm really outraged about). He didn't have any symptoms so really I don't feel like it is his fault, but my parents are treating him like he's evil and the whole thing was intentional. They're so angry with him that they won't mention his name. I feel like its making the situation more seedy than it really was, (we made love and unfortunately I got herpes - I wasn't purposefully betrayed by some villain as far as I know). Right now he's a better support than my parents, as he says I'm worth loving with herpes and I'm still desirable and sexy. Whereas my parents are making me feel like the fallen woman. How do I deal with them? I'm sick of being the only one in my family who is okay with my herpes. Thanks for listening and being here xxx

Vaseline to coat the sores (use gloves) before you pee, this creates a barrier. Try not to stop drinking water in order to pee less (it concentrates the urine making it much more painful). Take a big jug of water with you and pour over sores before you pee (this will sting), then pee whilst pouring the water over as it stings much less. There is local anesthetic cream which is OUTSTANDING completely removes all pain for about 20 minutes. Wear loose clothing. Lots of painkillers (stagger them if you are using paracetamol and ibuprofen, so paracetamol then ibuprofen 2 hrs later then back to paracetamol, do not overdose). Try not to walk about much.