Thanks, H_Opp. The thing is, I was always cautious but I guess not enough. I am recently divorced from a 11 year relationship. My ex had oral herpes and frequent outbreaks of it at the beginning of our relationship, which is probably how I unknowingly caught both genital and oral H. We just assumed I was safe when he didn't have outbreaks. His outbreaks became less when he cleaned up his diet and in the last years of our relationship, he probably had an outbreak once a year if at all... I have never had an outbreak, so I never had a clue that I was infected.
It is hard for me. I just don't know how much more careful I am supposed to be. I don't know how to deal with relationships anymore. I don't want to have a "conversation" with potential partners and risk rejection, so I guess I will have to date people from Herpes dating sites.
I work in the natural health field, so I will not be doing the usual suppressive therapy, though I will try to find alternative natural ones.
Thank you all for listening. Yes, I am still grieving the loss of what I thought was my sexual purity and cleanliness. I will be okay. I am determine to love myself regardless, and some days are better than others, some nights are better than others.