Im a socially awkward person. But i remembered how great a feeling it was to have a girl in your arms. I felt powerful, invincible even. Like i could do virtually anything and get away with it. i visited sex workers but always made it a point to keep it safe. Those session were just simple, no sex, not even oral sex. So imagine the horror when i found my first ever cold sore.
I just wanted to have a good time. From then on i was filled with a certain bitterness. Bitter that i have hurt my parents withoud them knowing, screwing up my chances of a real relationship. On some days i just dont bother at all. A fear i now have is spreading it to a loved one. Id be dammed is someone else pays the price for my mistake. I woudnt be able to kiss my baby when he is born, wont get to smell that sweet baby fragrance (that i swear all babies have). Im just hoping for a cure to pop up.