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BOOH

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  1. still very new to things but I can offer a supportive ear if anyone would like. I know there are times I need a shoulder or someone else just to bounce things off on!! If it is of relevance I am a 40 yr old single mom, in a committed relationship and got HSV1 from my man who only has oral H.
  2. Greetings James81..... Well I had to read your post several times to try to get the most out of it. I see both sides to your words. Yes, as you can see I haven't fully embraced herpes yet. Some days are better than others. I have had a rough year, emotionally and health wise and getting herpes in the middle of it really threw a curve ball at me!!! I have been officially diagnosed by my ob/gyn with only having HSV-1, my man has not had an official diagnose. I am aware you can have both, where you can get them etc. As far as the bathtub ? -- since my diagnose, I have done my best to do as much reading as I can. I was initially worried of spreading the virus naturally, as my kids are my world. I am learning with all the info and everyone's stories. Yes, I have had several ob initially and think that I was just not waiting long enough for the healing process or maybe it is because I am a huge stress ball atm. I am going thru some serious bs and I do internalize all my stress way too deeply!!!!! Anyhoo, maybe one day I will give my online name here a better definition or a change, like I said some days are better than others!!! Thanks for the post, it's definitely a good reminder to stay +.......
  3. Ok, I have to admit though my busy schedule and family do not always allow me the time to sit down and play at the computer I do check in on you guys here and there. I want to write and respond to you all I just feel so "green" with herpes experience. It has only been 6 weeks for me since my initial diagnosis. (though I have now had 3 outbreaks. Glad to say they were both nothing at all like my first. Lasting 4 days and the last 2 days, so small and I was able to nip it in the bud as soon as I realized it was there) I am still educating myself and don't have much knowledge to share, But I can lend an ear if anyone needs it. I still have my moments of emotional ups and downs around it. But I will not let this virus define me!!!!!!! Just wanted to reach out and say Thank you to everyone your stories are inspiring, informative and I am here for you all even if I am quiet.......
  4. I figured I better chime in with a proper intro. and not just be a lurker out of shame hoping to take with me the much needed advice for my new lifelong plague. As you can most likely sense with that statement I am definitely in the depressed, angry, defeated mode of my acceptance goal. Still not ready to give my real name and use BOOH for "bummed out on Herpes"!!! Hopefully one day I can change that username but shamefully today I can not... :( I'll try to give you the condensed version of my story ... I am 40, a single mama to 4, I work my ass off with multiple am/pm shifts to support my blessings, in a committed relationship with the love of my life though with that it has been the most emotional and hardest relationship of my life due to his severe jealousy and mood swings. I generally am a very calm, balanced individual who would say is a realist, perseverance has always been my attitude. But I have to admit this new challenge I am faced with, is absolutely getting the best of me. My journey started this April, I got strep throat, must of had it for a while as I don't present like most and was unaware till I dragged my butt to the dr. After weeks of still not feeling well went back and thought I must have it again as I was just not feeling I had the energy of my usual self. The dr. thought I had a sinus infection and ran some tests put me on stronger meds again. After feeling like I was just going more and more downhill, absolutely no energy to even walk to get the mail, 7 days later my culture came back that I had e-coli of the throat/sinus. Hence the reason I felt like dog s*%^. Another round of different HEAVY duty antibiotics. All the while, my immune system was taking a digger my man had a cold sore, no biggy he has had him his whole life. When I jokingly didn't want to be all lovey/dovey and told him my reasons why (immune system shot/women's privates being the perfect moist breeding ground for herpes he was very taken back/offended etc by my rejection. He had no idea cold sores could cause herpes. So being all google savvy I showed him and being the germ-a-phobe I am - stuck to my grounds and abstained. And there we have it. When his face was what I thought healed - we engaged in all our usual fun stuff that we often do and then the next am his cold sore was back, same spot full force. Long story short 2 weeks later guess what I got -"HSV-1" genitally .... I am just overwhelmed. Devastated. Mad. (not at him directly) Sad. I have insomnia, I wake up in the middle of the pm with the realization "I have herpes"!!! Not a dream. I really have herpes. Made it my whole life, done the tests multiple times, before dating, with pregnancies, and I get an STD from a cold sore!!!! ugh....... Ok, so I have it. I am trying to be strong and accept it. It's difficult...I don't want it. I wish I could will it away. I feel I brought this on myself, like I willed it to happen by my words supported by the google knowledge I shared with my man, like I planted the seed subconsciencely and made it true. But I need help. I want info and am so overwhelmed by all the do's dont's on the web. I thought I should seek out a forum of others who have the same virus as I. Didn't feel it was right to just lurk on the forum for help but come forward and admit my dread. I can feel the same emotions from others in their posts, I am optimistic and proud of the acceptance I can feel in others. It seems like a process, a journey. Today I am not happy for having to take this road. I am scared and sad and tears seem to just well down my cheeks with its every waking and sleeping thought. I have shared my new finding with my boyfriend who feels utterly apologetic and ashamed, my best friend and my sister. And that will be my only. My man, while helpful and supportive, just doesn't seem to grasp the reality, that this is life-changing. For the first time in my life I wish a year would advance in the blink of an eye so I can learn how my body will accept this new role. I want to know what triggers it for me, Prodrome (is that what you call it??) signs, what to avoid how to deal with it. Because the pain and duration of my first outbreak was hell. I don't have time for that. And then a week later I had my second outbreak. All the ?? no answers ... Was it because I had sex? Was it because I didn't have my acyclovir for a week? Was it my cycle?? Just the stress of my sadness?? How will I know? Oh yes, time......ugh... Yes, it was much more mild. Thank God!! But none the less an unwanted violation as it happened while my man I were out of town- first night alone in a hotel with out the kids and then a 6 hour drive home all of which I silently cried out the window while having uncomfort down below... How wrong of me is it to say that I am most worried about how it will impact my sex life??!!? I am a sexual person. We have sex daily, sometimes many times daily. I know all the other intimate things we can do, but you know- For me sex is a huge stress relief. There is just something about having an orgasm that makes me feel on top of the world. I feel a stronger connection to my man, myself. I sleep more sound, I have more energy. It helps my patience. Oh, I could go on and on. I am horrifically afraid that one of the areas I get my outbreak on is going to be a trigger/problem spot. It's theeeee spot. It's an unavoidable spot. I just feel its a waiting game. All of it, for so many different reasons. It's just sooooo much....too much. I am on overload and I know the stress just aggravates the whole cycle. I just need to chill...to breath...to be patient. I am sorry if that my biggest fear of how herpes will impact my sex life may sound silly or shallow, or if I have shared too much but I have to be honest, I am afraid, very deeply afraid that that one spot will be unavoidable and the friction will always bring on an outbreak. So.....can I go have sex now??? lol I know it will make me feel a hell of a lot better as long as it doesn't make an outbreak!! So many questions.. Can any of you help with these?? But seriously can I/should I have sex now. My last outbreak healed 3 days ago. too soon? Does my skin need time to rejuvenate and get stronger? How do I know that it won't pop back up like my mans cold sore did the next day? Is there a general rule of thumb of how long to wait after an outbreak? Because my man has had HSV-1 since child hood is it necessary for me to be on an anti viral long term for him?? I was hoping to stay on it for a few months give my body time to build antibodies, especially since my immune system was shot for about 3 consecutive months?? Currently I am taking acyclovir, a multi, l-lysine and extra C. Is this too much?? Should I put coconut oil on my one delicate outbreak spot as an ext. lub for protection. Don't need lube otherwise, just scared of this one spot.... I have now read that sharing a drink should be ok as the virus can not live when air hits it, but what about sharing of chapsticks etc?? Do I need to focus on any extra precautions for my kids? My midwife said sharing of bathtubs are ok? Is this for certain? I spent my first outbreak, soaking repeatedly in severe pain, cleaning the tub like a freak after each soak... I just do not want to spread this by any means. I apologize for what I wanted to be a condensed version of my story that has become a long winded vent... I have a feeling for me, this site may be the only place I find safe, and holds the knowledge I need... TY
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