This will be the first time I really talk about the whole process of the man I was with.
It was a whirl wind, I was completely obsessed, I had convinced myself that he was my soulmate. And I have never been the type of girl that lets a man control her life. I have always put myself first and paid close attention to the "red flags" but I was completely blind to him and all of his lies. My friends kept telling me, something was off and he was keeping something from me. Well low and behold, barely 2 months after we started dating (yes I fell that fast) I had become very sick, fever, chills, body aches and very tired. Then I was uncomfortable and I knew something was seriously off with my body. I went to the doctors and she told me what it looked like, that was the first thing out of her mouth, and sent swabs into the lab anyways, and put me on valacyclovir.
I called him and told him. He acted completely surprised said he still loved me and that it didn't change anything. Now here I am thinking "Okay, now I have to spend the rest of my life with him, because who on Earth would want to be with someone who has herpes? I will never meet anyone ever again." Within the next week during my outbreak, he was disrespecting me, being extremely insensitive to the way my body felt, I mean even though I had someone who didn't care about my new diagnosis, I was not feeling very beautiful, or sexual by any means (yep you got it, he was trying to sleep with me during all of this) UGHH!! It makes me physically sick to even think about it! I have never been so blind to someone's motives, or true self before in my life! He never said that he had herpes, but he had told me many more lies before and let's just say it is a woman's intuition. When someone you thought you could trust can look directly at you and lie to your face, you know in your heart that you are suddenly in a room with a stranger. That was my wake up moment, like I snapped out of a dream, and I thought that's it! I am out of here! You are not good for me and I deserve better. I am disappointed that I wasted this small amount of time (but feels longer) on this man who by my definition was no man in my eyes.
Nonetheless, he has been removed from my life, and I am moving forward, slowly but surely. I still feel like every little discomfort I have is going to turn into a full blown herpes outbreak, and part of me thinks that it's my mind messing with me so I'm a bit paranoid. I have been mistreated and taken advantage of, my heart doesn't hurt though. It's more my soul, more of me as a person, my world.
One thing for sure is that I could not be more blessed to be apart of this community full of inspiration and help. Thank you for reading my story, I hope that I can work towards a better me, with the help from all of you. In return I will do everything I can to help you as well.