EmmaLynn__Xx

Hey Brooke! I had this problem but it was before i found out i had herpes. I think i may have already had it a while before i was actually told it was a fact. I actually couldnt bare the itchyness! It was awful, i was constantly wriggling around and couldnt even sit still. The itchyness was worse at night time, when i would get in bed (typical!) so i went to the doctor. They told me i had bacterial vaginosis (i think thats what its called!) or BV, they said it is caused by a few reasons, like cleaning too much or using soaps. They gave me some anti-biotics to take and told me it would go in a few weeks, and it did! I was so releaved. Then i found out i had herpes around 3wks later. I dont know if this is what you have but i just thought it could be a possibilty so go and ask you doctor! :-) And too the_H_Opp I have had non-stop outbreaks. I would say in the past year I have been free of outbreaks for about 2 weeks all together! As they are not that painful and i am not in a sexual relationship i havent yet felt the need to seek help! Hope this helps Brooke.

Thankyou!!!!! xX

I am having a random moment of braveness! Its been too long to sit here and carry on moaning about this problem, I'm bored of hearing myself speak about it! :D I have met a few different people over time and I am seriously debating whether to just come out with it because I really want a sexual relationship, then again I'm so scared of saying it. Should I just have sex without telling someone? Or find someone I can trust and someone I feel like I can tell? I don't know how they will react, so I need to find out because this is driving me crazy not knowing how it feels to be accepted.. or rejected lol.. It's all I think about! Every move I make I have to think about the fact I have herpes it's annoying me. I'm doing okay to be honest, I just want some male company so much!! I miss it!! I am posting all sorts of different subjects but I suppose that's the reason for this site! I don't know where I would be without this website I really dont! :-*

The way I have helped myself get through the hard times is to be alone. If I am not thinking about a guy, I am not thinking about herpes. I have started to lead my own life and I don't have boyfriends or partners. It's all about me and I am quite happy. Then again when I start to like a guy, it all gets a bit rubbish! I cannot have sex with them, which means I have to hold back. No one can understand why I do not have sex or boyfriends. I stay friends with the guys and everyone seems confused by this. I do not know what else I can do.. I have kind of just dealt with it. After telling myself I do not want a guy in my life & I hate sex and do not want sex, I actually now believe it. Guys make me cringe & I am very much reserved. This is the only way I can get over herpes. Just love your life, without worrying about sex & partners. Do everything for you, not everybody needs to be with somebody. My college tutor told me today that people are meant to be with other people, it brakes my heart when I hear people say things like this. As I know I cannot be, well I can but not anytime soon, or anyone I want. My only choice has been to not have sex or any relationships. I have to be strong, we all do! Just be happy with you & become friends with yourself, it makes me feel a lot better to know all I need is me.

I need to find me a fox :-?

I know but i dont feel like i have a choice to be sexual. I keep putting this act on that i am fine and i dont need a partner. I can't do it anymore.. It's so so hard and I am trying to be as strong as I can. I really like someone then i have to tell them i dont want a relationship when really i am dying to be in one. I hate it! I have done so well and blocked it out for a year now! with no sex whatsoever, but its getting to the point now where i am so fed up and drained. I dont wanna be just friends with the guy i like anymore. But i cant just pick and choose who I want now :'(

Just a quick question guys! I am so confused with these facts I have been hearing! I know that I cannot have sex unprotected, but if I wanted it protected, would I still pass it on? I dont want too tell anyone that I have it, does this mean I will not have sex until I can tell someone and they agree to take the risk? People I know that have herpes seem to be having sex?! I dont know how! I heard condoms kind of stop it passing, only if all areas are covered. I pretty much know I cannot have sex, even when protected.. It's so upsetting. The amount of times I have lost chances with guys and relationships over this!! I spose I just need too accept I no longer have the choice to sleep with a guy that I like :-( so I have to stay friends with them. Arghhh I wish there was a way around it!!! There must be!!!

Hi Abby83! I honestly think you have done really well here! You may not think it but I havent had sex since I found out, I havent even touched a guy or met anybody or even told one single person! All my friends think I'm turning gay as I used to be in long term relationships a lot. It's been more than a year and I'm pretty okay as I do my own things. I think it depends on what kind of guy he is. I always think if he loves me he will find it harder too just walk away, because if he is just seeing me for a few weeks he could easily say BYE! I dont really think there is ever an answer to give you, as none of us know what he is like, if he is mature or someone who will run off and tell everyone. Or even if he has it, or accepts you for having it. I have no idea. Its just chance! I havent ever had the guts to risk it, but that doesnt mean you havent! Hope it goes okay for you, I hope he isnt a douchebag because we all deserve partners!!

Mellygirl92.... You sound so much like me when I first got herpes. I am 19 aswell and I thought I was the unluckiest girl in the world. I know its crazy at the beginning. Your world changes, your thoughts about people change, and you yourself change, ALOT! I felt every feeling in the world in the first few months. Depression, loneliness, shame, anger and happiness even! But that has all changed over time. I educated myself very well. I spend a lot of time reading everything about herpes. I just thought it was another STD, but its really not. It's here for life, so it changes your life and theres no denying that. You have to face facts as soon as you can. The sooner you face it and start believing it wont mess with you or your life, the quicker you feel loads better. You are not DIRT! It literally is just bad luck. People always stereo-type people with herpes as people that sleep around, you don't catch it from having loads of sex though do you? You catch it from 1 person. This is why I have never ever told anybody about it. After all this time I am still keeping it a secret! Because I know how people would react as they are all so narrow minded and judgmental. The only problem I have after all this time of having herpes is being single and having NO sex at all. This was my choice, some people sleep around still and risk giving it to others, but I certainly don't want a phone call from a guy asking if I have give him herpes! Some people are already in relationships with understanding guys (lucky them!) and some people are like me and stay alone. Only because I know I cannot tell anybody. People say that guys will understand if they love you, but seriously, where I'm from, people dont understand shit. I'll get branded a slag and every other name under the sun. So I have chosen to concentrate on me as its the only choice I have, keep my head up & carry on as normal, just without sex and guys. Really Isn't a big loss if you are like me and think they're a waste of time anyway! Ha! Of course I have my down days, I get lonely and when I get asked out by boys I have to refuse, but I will never let this get too me. I think it was given too me for a reason and that sounds rather cringey! But I really do, shame it was herpes that made me realise a lot of things but it helps you see the world in a better view sometimes :-) you realise there is lots more to life than sex and relationships. Just thought I'd share my views as we are the same age and I have a little more information for you and what may come ahead, but I know one thing. What doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. x

I have come to realise that I cannot have sex until I wish to settle down with a long term partner, and this will not be until I am a lot older than 19. I met someone that I really like and I have been meeting him for months now, but I had to let him go. I am finding this really hard. Everyone has always said how me and him should be together and I am so upset, I cannot give him what someone else could give him so I've let him go. I think it was the right thing to do because at 19, he wouldn't of agreed to risk catching it from me and I dont think I have the right to put him in this horrible place that I am in. He has now found someone else and I wish I could be her so much. She is so lucky. I know I will forget him and move on, of course I will, but how many more people am I going to have to let slip away? I do concentrate on me now, I enjoy myself a lot and can do whatever I like whenever I like, but when you aren't looking for someone they just keep coming. I want my old life back so much!

I know I would find it awful telling someone, I said before, the place I live isn't somewhere I can just say I have herpes and be ok with that. It sounds strange but I've lived here all my life and I know everyone, if I was to tell a guy, he would freak and tell everyone. So I need to wait until I'm older to find someone mature enough to know what herpes actually is, and not judge me. If anybody was to find out I had herpes I would not be able to leave my house lol. I wish I could turn back time and go back to my normal life :'(

Looks like I will be staying single for a very long time then :( That doctor needs a good talking to! I just can't see how I am going too keep staying strong with this.. I have such bad days sometimes.. like today lol! I just know I have to wait till I'm older to settle down with someone who will accept it & I'm just so lonely.

Basically a simple question that I can never find an answer to. My doctor told me and a friend who also has H, that its fine to have sex with a partner when herpes symptoms aren't showing. So basically, when they're no blisters, you can't catch herpes? My friend has been having sex with guys when her blisters aren't there, but I've done my research and found out it can be caught..always! Basically my Doctor wasn't helpful, he told me the basics about herpes but never about sex & passing it on. I asked my friend again the other day and she said "Emma when the sores aren't there it's basically like the herpes isn't there!" So I thought wow I can actually have sex after a year of none. But I had to check here first. I even have a leaflet from the doctors about herpes that clearly reads this... "Can I pass the virus to a partner if I have no symptoms?" Here's the answer, "When the virus is dormant/inactive inside the nerve cells it cannot be caught by others, if the virus is on the skin, it may be passed on." This seems crazy, I'm sorry but my friend has the same booklet and she went on this information and has been having casual sex, have I done the right thing by not having sex at all ever since I found out? I wonder if I should have her attitude! She is loving life, lol. Tell me as much as you know about giving it to someone else please, thanks everyone x

Ahhh thankyou so much everyone :) I was so excited too log on here and see if anyone had wrote!! You have made me feel so much better! I really do believe that H can actually be a good thing, obviously you have days when you get down and look at people around you and wish you were them because they dont have H, but to be honest i've like.. found who I am if that makes sense ! DyingInside I have had it almost a year and can you believe I have only cried twice about it!! I've learnt to block it out :) let me know if u have any Questions <3 and yes the_H_Opp I have so grown up thanks to H! I realise how much there is to life other than sex and partners!! I am an only child and its helped because I've always wanted to travel and see the world, make lots of money and party LOL.. who says I need a man :-) Thanks again all of you....xxxxxxxx

How come no one has wrote back to my post??? :( x

Well basically i am new to this site, as ive only just found it :( bummer! I have so much to say but I'll cut a long story short. I caught herpes around a year ago now, and my life has changed a lot, not all bad though. I have not had a partner since the day I was told, and that's what's killing me most. I live in a small town where everybody knows everyone, that sucks! What sucks even more is that everyone around here is so narrow-minded it's unreal, plus they're all my age (19) and there is absolutely no way EVER I could tell anyone, everyone would know and I would have to move towns.. I feel like I have been strong and I have learnt from herpes that I am very good at staying strong, for example this is the first time I have ever spoken about herpes other than when I was told I had it and they were not helpful at all, I had to do my own research and I can tell you I've done a lot of that!!!! So what I say is truly what I have learned through all this time of dealing with it, like when I said I'd have to move towns. I sound pathetic but it's a fact. The one and only thing about herpes that really gets me down is watching someone I really like end up with someone else because I can't sleep with them. I know everyone says if they love you they won't care and all that jazz, but to be honest, I know which choice I would make about having herpes or not (if I had the bloody choice)! All my friends have families now and boyfriends and I know I have to wait and haven't got that kind of choice anymore, yes that also sounds pathetic of course i will one day have a family LOL but again I have realised I can't just meet someone I fancy anymore and see what happens like I used to because I cant give them what someone else can :'( I have thought about sleeping with these people as my doctor told me you cannot pass it when there are no blisters and he gave me a leaflet that said the same thing. LUCKILY i researched as well and was told the opposite.. I was devastated.. Literally last night I had too see someone i have been meeting for a while walk away because he couldn't understand why I was so distant with him.. now I see him talking too someone else and its like NOOOOOOO!!! :( ahh well. I kinda started thinking about just being on my own anyway only because it's easier. I keep telling myself I HATE MEN and eventually i just scare them all off to make myself feel better, but really deep down it's all I've ever wanted. I wish everyone in the world spent as much time as i have reading about this stuff and maybe they would all understand so i could tell them and they wouldn't mind! I feel like I'm in a different world now. The Herpes World, lol. Like I've stepped into another planet. I keep thinking oh my god emma you've messed your life up forever! Things we would do to turn back time eeh! But I must say I have so grown up through it. I think if someone ever told me they have herpes before they sleep with me I would definitely be amazed by their bravery! But before I had herpes, I would of got up and ran and thought YUCK!! .... It's mental how it changed the way you see the world so much when you get herpes, but yet.... Its a blister....A BLISTER.... I wish people would realise that its not a massive deal.. but like i say before i did my research i thought it was gross.. and there are people in much worse cases... hope I haven't bored anyone to death, but like i say it's my first ever time speaking about this and I had a year's worth of ranting to do... Wow I actually feel so much better now .... xxxxxxxx