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Ste91ke last won the day on July 22

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  1. Grace thank you. I also read another post you commented on and saw that you couldn't be seen for three days after your outbreak started? The SAME thing happened to me. And I was so sick, had a REALLY bad primary outbreak...lesions everywhere. So this might seem like a weird question but..it wasn't dangerous for us to have to go those days without antivirals was it? Like there is more virus in us or something? I always wonder if my herpes would be more under control if I had been able to start antivirals right away....
  2. Thank you again for responding to me. I feel like I am starting to talk myself off the ledge but I still hold a lot of fear associated with herpes. And I don't think I've still 100% accepted that this is my life after all these years. I wish I didn't worry about these things. I envy people that don't.
  3. Thank you again for responding to me. I am sorry you had to go through that as a child. I have always had health related anxiety so that's what I have these awful thoughts related to herpes. Even though I know it's not possible I still feel like I am a threat to my children and if they ever found out when they are older that they would be ashamed of me. I still feel tremendous guilt about passing this to my husband even though he says again and again he doesn't care. And then I have been having these crazy dark thoughts that if one day I have to go on immunosuppressive medicine or become immunocompromised that herpes will get so much worse for me. These are crazy, obsessive thoughts I know but I think about them. I really need to start therapy💔😭
  4. Thank you for replying to me! Facts help me. For some reason the past few days my mind set has changed from thinking herpes is just an annoying skin condition to it being a terrible and dangerous virus that I am stuck with forever. I don't know how to snap out of this. I'm having a lot of obsessive thoughts. Valtrex does seem to work well for me so now I am paranoid about becoming resistant to it. And I worry something bad could happen to my husband or my kids...I would just go insane...
  5. I've had herpes for 12 years. I got it from my boyfriend at the time who hadn't told me he had herpes. My first outbreak was horrific. And I am someone who has always dealt with frequent outbreaks. My life went on....and I married a man who didn't care about my herpes and I have 3 young children. But after having my first baby I developed severe OCD and anxiety related to herpes. I became paranoid I would somehow infect her. I also became paranoid about getting whitlow because it would be easier for my kids to come into contact with it. I worry about my husband. He caught herpes from me although in 6 years he's had 3-4 outbreaks, but he isn't as careful as me so I worry he'll infect our kids or get whitlow and infect our kids that way. Or that down the road herpes will become worse for him. I managed to control my OCD and anxiety and made a lot of progress but recently its been triggered and I am spiraling. I just had surgery on my abdomen so I've become paranoid about infecting my incisions. I have very sensitive skin and had an allergic reaction to something and developed a red rash so that's just fed my anxiety. I need to seek professional help but I hate how herpes seems to have such a negative impact on my mental health. I also worry I will develop antiviral resistance and then I will have nothing to combat this virus. I'm also frustrated because I am on suppressive therapy but I still get red and irritated sometimes even though I never develop any lesions. It happens pretty frequently too. So idk if it something else or if antivirals are starting to become less effective. I'm just so scared herpes will someone become unstoppable and become worse and worse. Can anyone relate or offer any advice??
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