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Well I finally did it. I disclosured to someone that is romantically interested in me. I met him through my work & have been talking to him for a couple weeks now. Last night I had decided to tell him because I could tell we were both starting to have real feelings for each other. I couldn't allow it to go on without letting him know & allowing him to decide if he wanted to invest any more time. He's 11 yrs older than me. I'm 44. Both divorced & really looking to move forward. So proceed forward to the end of an amazing evening, where I knew we were both very much interested in each other, & I told him. He said he didn't know much about it but trusted me & for sure still wanted to,move forward. Never in a million years did I think this would have gone this way. He said he respected me more now for opening up to him & knew right away that he still wanted more. Since my diagnosis I have made up a 10 date rule before sex, he knew this & has been ok with it since I told him. Now that he knows why I have this rule he is hoping I shorten it by a lot. So now I turn to all of you, 1st off to share my joy but to ask his question. How safe is oral sex? I have 1 & 2 with only have a few very small OBs. I have never had a cold sore in my life. Im not taking a daily med. I know I can absolutely not guarantee him 100% that I don't give it to him but any advice here would be helpful. I want to keep him safe while enjoying each other in everyway possible. Thank you so much for taking the time to read & help out.

I'm still figuring things out. Since I was diagnosed in Sept of last year with hsv 1 & 2, a few small OB down there but never any cold sores, I have not engaged in any type of intimacy with anyone. I'm so scared to try. But a couple of general questions that I don't know where to go & ask but here: is kissing without disclosurer ok? What about non intercourse things like oral sex etc what is ok or safe? Is it only when you actually have sex that you should disclose? I'm so afraid to even just kiss someone even if its safe and then move forward later on & then have to disclose and have my partner get upset because I didn't disclose right away. I'm just not ready for the rejection & I fear having others find out. I get & know this really isn't that big of deal medically but emotionally it is. I fear what others will think of me or how they will treat me, I fear the rejection & being alone. I'm a successful attractiv. 43 yr old woman with 2 amazing grown children. Because of this I still feel dirty & think that is what others will think of me too. I have been,divorced for over 2 years now & recently have noticed that more men are starting to approach me & ask me out. I make up all kinds of excuses to not go for fear of all of this. Any advice or answers are appreciated. I love all the stories I read on here & they give me hope, I just need to become stronger!!

So you have already had sex with them and what happens if they end up having an OB? Of course they are going to come back to you 1st unless they are sleeping with others too. Will you continue to deny it forever? I'm just asking because I have not disclosed and haven't had the need to but I don't want to wait forever to find someone. But I am scared as hell to tell anyone so I choose to not have sex.

Thank you so much. I have been struggling with all the same stuff even the fact that I'm told I'm an amazing catch. So many ask why I'm single. Well this secret is why. Hopefully I find your courage. You made me honestly smile for the first time in a long time!!

Is there a connection between herpes & acne. I seem to be getting a lot of bad breadouts that I never got before. It's the deep sore pimples like I'm a teenager again. Not sure if it's connected or just my aging body & hormones so I just thought I would ask. Thanks.

It's not just a skin condition at first. It's a life changing disease. It changes everything about how you feel about everything. I do understand that I will get past all those feelings but why not test more to potentially eliminate millions more getting infected & feeling this way

If this is such a common STD why is not tested on a regular basis? Why does it seem that everyone only gets tested if they ask for it because they believe they have been exposed? With so many having it and not knowing you would think that this would become part of routine testing for anyone that is sexually active, whether it's been with 1 partner or 100.

It's not easy. I just keep hope that it will get easier with each and everyday. Seems sureal since I haven't had any symptoms

Keep your head up. I found out just a month ago. No outbreaks at all but it's still there. Not an easy diagnosis to get. Each day seems to get easier.

In an odd turn of events, I actually started dating the guy that I believe unknowingly exposed me. We had some trouble when we tried to date before but now being here for each other has helped us both. Things are looking up. Good luck to you fonda. I really think and believe it gets easier.

When does this feeling end? I am so sad all the time. I can't stop feeling like I will be alone forever.

I am hoping I get to not giving a shit. I really don't want to end up alone just because I have HSV & am afraid to tell anyone. Thank you for your advice

Just wondering if anyone had an ex or anyone share with others after you told them you have herpes. I know I shouldn't care but I do so being afraid of what others will think of me is keeping me from wanting to tell anyone. Thanks.

It's been a crazy emotional few days. Thanks for the kind words and support. So far I have only discussed it with the ex who was also diagnosed. He has been great support and we are amazing friends. He was so afraid I would hate and blame him.

I was just diagnosed Friday from the IgG blood test. Back in March I had a swab test due to a sore on my genitals but that came back negative. Is it possible I have recently contacted it or the swab test was a false negative? The reason I went and got the blood only 6 months later is because an ex that I did only sleep with 1 time after the test in march just told me he has herpes and was diagnosed in may. Other than that sore I have had no other symptoms. I have no idea if he was ever tested before as to where all the confusion & frustration comes from for me. Please help. I don't know what to do. I feel so alone.