Harley2468

That's amazing! thanks so much for sharing!

Hey everyone - I think I have finally reached the acceptance stage of my journey. But now I find that I want to do something to start changing society....I want to take action somehow but I don't know how or what. I'm not sure donating to a place that's looking for a cure is worthwhile as it seems there are a lot of scams out there. I do know that I cannot just sit here and do nothing. Does anyone else feel that way? Has anyone else taken some kind of action they can share? Any other ideas to fight the stigma and ignorance about Herpes?

Yes. He has been tested. He is negative for 1 and 2. So basically it seems that he can get it. I was diagnosed in September and still feeling the shock and upheaval of this. And am devastated to think that I’ll never get oral sex again.

I could use some advice/guidance.....I have genital hsv1 and my partner does not. I am not on supressive meds. He is afraid to perform oral sex on me. I've done so much reading on Herpes and still don't know how to proceed here. I know that the chances of him getting it from me is low, but that doesn't seem to stop the fear and does put a damper on oral/genital activities. Does anyone have experience with this or advice for me? things to tell him? ways to further protect him?

Good point.

I’ve only had one outbreak and during it, I was not interested in sex in any fashion. I was so miserable. I guess I’m wondering if the virus can live on the toys (like a vibrator) and do I need to clean them in a certain way? If I’m not having an outbreak, can I use them or will I shed on them and spread the virus to another location or person ?

Your comments have meant so much to me- thank you. I hope I can be there for you when you need it!

Can one still use sex toys with an hsv diagnosis?

@hikinggirl. love that comment- I’ll never put my happiness in the hands of someone else again. I hope to be in that space one day too. I’m trying. Esp since my boy friend has told me that if he is negative for hsv, he is not sure he will be able to sleep with me again. It hurts but I also understand his reasoning. One day at a time.

@dontstopmenow. Hi. I’m almost healed now...5 weeks later. I still have residual nerve pain in my butt. But I’m told that will go away within the next few weeks too. This is my first OB, so I’m really new to this. My doc didn’t say anything about cleaning the area because it’s inside me. I just can’t. But I was on valtrex and the pain stopped within a week. So i guess the medicine did what it is supposed to do. The doctor says it’s likely that if I have another OB, it will be in the same area. So I’m freaking out about going through this pain again. But trying to keep calm.....sigh. I hope you feel better soon!!

@adrial, thank you. I’m not feeling very strong at the moment and will definitely check out your message. Earlier today I was listening to an interview you did with the authentic man program. So glad I listened in- even though I’m a woman :) hoping one day soon to have your positive outlook.

@HikingGirl- So if a person has a negative result on the IgG and a positive on the IgM, is it possible they do not have herpes at all?

Is there a list of therapists (by city or state) who have experience helping people deal with a herpes diagnosis? I'm wondering how to find one that I can talk to....

Has anyone else had sores inside their rectum? I have read many posts where people are talking about sores on legs, thighs, labia....but never inside. My doctor says that is where mine is! I'd love to hear from others with this experience.

Hi Hiking Girl - thank you so much! I read the Herpes handbook and found it super helpful. I have another appt with my doctor to pinpoint what type I have as my last test was not clear. Now that my first OB has cleared, I feel like my head is in a better space....until I think about being sexual again. My BF has not been tested yet. He says he is going this week or next. But whenever I think about being intimate with him (which I am not going to until he gets tested!) I am scared of giving him - or any future lovers - the virus. The handbook says (and I read this in a few other posts here as well) that I can pass the virus on to someone else even when a condom is being used and I don't have an OB!! How on earth can I possibly, comfortably, have sex again with someone when all I think about it exposing them or infecting them!?

Thank you for sharing. You have given me hope as I am still in the scared and worried stages, afraid to be intimate with anyone. I'm new to this site and hoping to read more as time allows to learn from this amazing community I stumbled upon.

Hi Tanto..I'm in the same boat. I told my most recent two....but I also have no idea when/where/who my hsv came from. It's so frustrating to not know! I know you feel alone. I do too. I'm learning that we are not alone though - we both found this place full of supportive people.

Hi everyone - I'm new here....and super new to herpes. I went to urgent care with intense rectal pain and some bleeding and came out with a herpes diagnosis. That's the extremely short version of the story. Needless to say, I went to my regular doctor at the earliest possible moment and she is doing more tests to determine what kind I have. I'm still in shock and trying to figure out what this means for my future. In the meantime, she gave me antiviral meds, pain meds, and meds for hemorrhoids too. I've finished the antiviral meds, but now am left with a yeast infection, still have the hemorrhoids, and am so itchy....not to mention the nerve pain in my back, butt, and legs. I don't know that I can handle much more of this...or heaven forbid another outbreak at any point. I'm not sure I have just one question....more like a million. What have people found helpful for the nerve pain? itchiness? And how on earth do I get myself from despondent to a more positive attitude? I guess also....how do you conduct your sex/physical life with a partner who doesn't have herpes? I'm afraid to touch, kiss, anything.....I read that I can transmit herpes even when I'm not having an outbreak. ....sorry for so many questions. I am a total itchy mess!!!