aproduction816

Thanks you guys for your responses <3 I told him last week. I had to, it didn't feel right for me to not tell him. And he seemed okay with it. But then today he called it off, saying he didn't see a future, wants to be friends, all that. I know that it's because of the herpes thing... and I'm just feeling super down about my future relationships.

I've had a very rough week... I feel horrible, and hope that I can get some advice from people who have been through this before. I was diagnosed with herpes, HSV1 and 2, about 5 years ago. My talks in the past haven't gone the best... my long term ex boyfriend was not the best relationship... he was an emotional abuser. And used it against me, telling me I was lucky to have him and that no one else would understand or love me like him. Most get scared and run away, which I completely understand. But it doesn't exactly help with the confidence of disclosure. I have been dating this amazing guy for a couple of months. He's been taking it slow, not pressuring sex, but no discussion as come up. When I was ready, I had a couple of drinks to get the courage to disclose and I blacked out... we ended up having sex once with a condom. I take preventative meds everyday like clock work and we used a condom. But now I'm more worried than ever to tell him. I seriously don't remember us having sex, and now I feel completely irresponsible and terrified to tell him. The chances of him getting it are about 1%, but still. How do I go about disclosure without him thinking the worst of me? I feel so terrible about this and wish I could just take it back.