Lilux723

Sounds like you dodged a bullet, even if it hurt to do it. Be glad it was only 6 months and now you can find someone worthy of you.

Honestly i told the only person who i couldve given it to through text because i knew it would be a while before i could see him. Even if not the ideal way, its better than waiting if youre having trouble getting him to come by. Best way would just say you want to meet for lunch or something and before you go, sit him down and talk. That will give him time to let it sink in and time to think about questions for you that will probably help him not take it so bad. Just the quicker you tell him the better, the longer you wait the more hes going to feel he cant trust you. Again, i dont agree with the other response. Its the same thinking that gets herpes spread in the first place and the same lame excuse my ex gave me when he didnt disclose to me, just wasnt a big deal to him so why should he worry me about it.. And two, if you intend to keep a relationship going then hes going to have to know eventually. If youre that absolutely scared especially because of your career, you could always tell him that you just found out and thats why youre disclosing now. Its better than not disclosing at all and running any risk.

I disagree with hippy herpy. Yes he could maybe already have it, and very possible he didnt get it, but that doesnt matter. Ever. As you know, some people dont get symptoms, and for any chance that you did give it to him, you owe him and his future partners at the least a heads up. I know it sucks, but think if you were in his shoes. Youd want to know so you could get tested and have a peace of mind. . Not fair to keep him in the dark even with a 1% chance. Youre doing the right thing.

I agree, it was a mistake. Had the person who gave it to me been honest even after the first time (same thing, we were drinking), i would have been understanding and taken responsibility for my decisions to have sex and for what happens to my body because of it, then to protect others. but the fact that he lied to me for a year, then lied to the next girl, thats when you should feel horrible. He should know what drinking does, you dont think 100%. The fact youre even going to tell him shows your decency, its very respectable and i hope he sees that. If not, dont beat yourself up. Youre doing what you can to fix it and im proud of you girl.

Just keep condoms around and it shouldn't keep you from spontaneity. I think it really comes down to if you mean spontaneous sex with your partner or you mean with someone you dont know well. Obviously if you dont know them well, thats a bit difficult. But if your partner knows then just make sure to have the guy keep a condom in his wallet or pocket at all times. It takes no time to whip it out and slide on a condom. If you arent fast at it, start with oral sex while the guy works at pulling the condom out and getting it ready. Get experimental in different things that are spontaneously sexy while working your way up to putting it on. Really it hasnt slowed down my sex life at all but i definitely owe that to having a partner who knows and both knowing what turns on the other so anytime the other is feeling frisky (dark parking garage for instance), we know how to go about doing it safely while keeping it hot. Hope that helps!

I know exactly how you feel. Im 30 too, currently single. Trust me when it happened i looked up and down to see if it could have been anything else, false positive and an ingrown hair from shaving, anything else, but it was pretty clear. I was in a sexual relationship at the time so i had to be upfront and honest right away, no chance to hide from it. I said this in a different post, but it really helped me think of this entire experience in a different way. I met a super beautiful girl who was 20 about the time i found out. She told me she had it the very first day over girl talk about relationships and how difficult dating was. Seeing how open and confident she was about it and not letting it bother her gave me confidence. I now see this as a test in finding a future partner worthy of me. If theyre going to bail because of that, their loss and you deserve better. So keep that in mind. Its definitely made me make smarter decisions on who i let in my life. Does it suck having it? Of course. But it hasnt affected my life for the worse nearly as much as i thought it would. Just remember youre not alone :) thank you, and you as well!

If doctors told you it was herpes without testing you, thats worrisome. If they did and it came back positive, take the results as confirmation. Normally outbreaks after the first arent near as bad and dont last as long. And some people are lucky to not have outbreaks often. I typically went 4 months without symptoms before getting on suppression therapy, and havent had any symptoms since (its been 3 months now so interested to see if it prolongs OBs.) With that said, my outbreaks have been different. Sometimes i know for a fact it is as its a small red spot (also doesnt ooze) that tingles at the very beginning and is gone completely within 5-7 days. However ive also had an OB that i thought was just a small tear at the opening of my vagina that was having trouble healing. I was also going to law school and getting out of an abusive relationship through all kf this, so stress levels were through the roof. From my own experiences i can confirm that it really just varies from person to person. Be glad that your post initial symptoms seem to be mild as i know some people arent so lucky. And definitely go ask for a blood test specifically stating to look for herpes if you havent already.

I hear you. Luckily i met a gorgeous young girl about the time i found out. She told me she had it the very first night (im a girl too so it was over girl talk) but seeing how open and confident she was about it and not letting it bother her gave me confidence. I now see this as a test in finding a future partner worthy of me. If theyre going to bail because of that, their loss and you deserve better. Good luck to you!

I agree with the statements above. I know the feeling of wanting it to work or to have someone during this time in your life, but ive noticed many would rather just step away from it all and live in ignorance. It shows what will happen when the relationship hits a rough patch, theyre out. Im lucky enough to have someone who understood and supported me when i found out (luckily they didnt get it from me and was 100% on board with getting tested too). The sex is just as amazing, we just make sure to have lots of condoms around and i keep on a suppression therapy. I honestly dont feel bad at all for having it because of him, and i hope you too find someone as supportive and helpful.

I'm a female that has genital herpes while my partner does not. Im on suppression therapy etc. and we wear condoms every time, but recently the condoms have been breaking during anal sex. He pulls out as soon as it happens, but it does happen pretty frequently. My question is does the inside of the anus also carry the virus? Is he still just as much at risk? Is there a difference in having herpes around the vagina versus the anus? Ive only had an outbreak near my clit, so it's hard to imagine the same virus is in my anus, but thats why im here! Thanks in advance!