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MakingIT2017

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  1. I am also asymptomatic and when I found out via blood work I told my guy and he left too. That was 6 months ago and I haven’t seen or heard from him. The pain will go away, I promise!! I just moved on with my life. If we were meant to be he’d still be here. Hang in there!!
  2. I don’t have OBs but get itchy down there. I have tried both and prefer TTO mixed with coconut oil. It has a cooling feeling similar to when you put a cough drop in your mouth. I recently purchased oregano oil and tried it the other day also mixed with coconut oil and wasn’t thrilled. I guess it’s a matter of what works for you.
  3. WoW, what a story! I’m sorry you had to go thru all of that. Unfortunately, this guy is a jerk and wasn’t acting responsible at all. The fact that you have proof he knew all along has to make you sick to your stomach because it that’s how I felt reading!! People can be so cruel! I definitely wouldn’t say anything else to this guy and move on. I wouldn’t bother suing either because you’d have to say how you found out which could put your friends in trouble with HIPAA laws,etc.
  4. Awww I’m sorry you’re going thru this. I have only known about my HSV2 diagnosis almost 5 months so I haven’t disclosed yet. It’s really nerve wracking just thinking about it! Maybe he’s doing some research on his own and may come around. You should encourage him to get tested..he may already have it!! Hugs!
  5. @IcanOvercome, thanks for sharing your story. I have told none of my friends about my new diagnosis. The only person that knows is the guy I was seeing at the time and I kind of hate I said anything to him. I just thought it was the right thing to do. Your giver sounds like a real winner! Smh @PresentMoment, I think you did the right thing by telling her!! Good for you!
  6. Yes the first 2-3 months after my diagnosis last October were brutal. I was alllll over the place emotionally and the fact that the guy I was seeing at the time hauled a$$ didn’t help!! When I told him he said “well you didn’t get that $hit from me!” Then he went on a full rant saying some horrible horrible things..couldn’t believe it! He said he was going to get tested...that was 4 months ago. I never heard from him again. Smh. Today I can honestly say that I’m in a MUCH better place emotionally. Not hearing from him helped me move on with my life. I had to take my control back and refuse to waste another day in 2018 worrying about what he is doing!
  7. Thanks for all of the information on HPV. I didn’t want my daughter vaccinated at such a young age (12-13) because it just didn’t make sense especially if she wasn’t having sex. She’s 20 now so can she get the vaccine now or is it too late?
  8. Hey PresentMoment. Thanks. Unfortunately, I’m not a young man. I’m young at heart but my body tells me I’m 48. Getting hsv2 when you’re middle aged seems ridiculous but here I am. I’m very responsible and encourage everyone on this site to take care of yourself responsibly and disclose. I would consider it evil not to disclose and potentially pass on a life long condition. I stopped meds but have some on hand if/when the next outbreak takes place. My asymptomatic girlfriend and hsv2 provider and I are still together. She didn’t know she had it. So, I can’t hate her but anger about the situation still crops up. I’m sorry you’re going thru this. I’m 42 and was diagnosed last October with HSV2 via blood test. I don’t get blisters at all but occasional itchiness down there. I also plan to disclose going forward to potential partners because it’s the right thing to do. I’m glad you and your lady were able to work thru the initial shock of it all. It will get better as time goes on. Be encouraged!
  9. Woot Woot!! What an awesome story and thanks for sharing! I hope things work out for you two!!
  10. Awesome!! I haven’t had the disclosure talk so this gives me hope!!
  11. Thank you for this thread. My daughter’s doc was so adamant about her getting the vaccine at 12 or 13 when she hadn’t even started having sex yet. I thought it was odd so declined every time. She will be 21 this year and had her pap last year. All was normal but I think the doc asked if she had the vaccine again and she told them she hadn’t and didn’t want it. She’s old enough to go to her appts by herself so I still didn’t think much of it. I saw a woman post a video of her young daughter after receiving the vaccine and was horrified. The poor girl was acting like she had been drinking! She couldn’t hold her head up and was making noises and drooling. That’s scary!! I still question all these vaccines they try and push down our throats for things we never had to worry about when we growing up. Now they want to vaccinate the young boys with it. Smh
  12. Thanks for the responses about receiving oral sex. I also would feel nervous about it and wonder if he’s thinking about H while he’s down there!! I guess if he’s going to be ok with intimacy after I disclose it would include everything that he’d normally do under normal circumstances.
  13. @Sunset, not trying to change the course of this great thread but you’ve talked extensively about HPV. I have a 20 y/o daughter and when she was maybe 12 or 13 they started pushing the HPV vaccine at her appts. I refused them because I didn’t know much about it and thought it was just another way for them to get money. She’s not a virgin any longer as of 2 years ago but she’s also not sexually active. Did I mess up by not allowing her to get that vaccine years ago? She had her annual pap last November and was fine. I’m just interested in your thoughts on that. Ok, for the ladies that have disclosed and have had sex since their diagnosis...is receiving oral sex going to be a thing of the past?? I thoroughly enjoy receiving oral sex but can’t imagine a man wanting to go there after I’ve disclosed. Gahhh!!
  14. @monika, no I’m not on any AVs yet. I don’t get blisters at all unless they are internal. I do, however, have bouts of itchiness down there that gets on my nerves at times. I recently started taking Azo yeast tablets and they have done wonders for the itchiness! I used to mix tea tree oil with coconut oil and apply to my vagina which also helped with the itching. I take Lysine in the mor morning and Apple Cider Vinegar before I eat breakfast and again before bed but I’ve been doing that for years. When I decide to start dating my plan is to start taking AVs on a daily basis especially if he’s negative since I have no idea when the virus is active. As far as that guy is concerned don’t bother reaching out. Just move forward with your life and if he wants to talk then he will contact you. He says he can’t deal with the virus so there’s nothing more to talk about IMO. I don’t talk to the guy I was seeing when I was diagnosed. No contact since October when I found out. It totally sucked at first but I’m much better now. We will find love again...just stay in the race!! @Sunset, I was the same way with the condoms!! I always had some on me just in case they don’t which most didn’t!! I also knew of others (guys) that had it but thought that I was safe with my partners as long as we had condoms. Never even heard of viral shedding or contracting H1 from oral sex until I was diagnosed with H2 and started researching the virus. I also miss that warm body in my bed!! Ugh!! But I’m gonna take my time and scene them a lot better when I start dating.
  15. Awww big hugs @monika!! I know how you feel because the guy I was dating when I found out was special to me. He said repeatedly that I was “the one” and I was starting to feel the same way. It was great and when I went in for my annual exam I casually asked for STD testing to sort of get that out of the way should he and I decided to go without condoms. Time stopped when the nurse called and told me I tested positive for the antibodies associated with HSV2. Couldn’t believe it and wanted to let him know immediately thinking we’d work thru it. Boy was I wrong because his response was downright hurtful and nasty. Totally took me by surprise so now I’m dealing with the fact that I have this virus and the fact that he walked away so fast. I’m only 4 months into knowing I have H so I’m just taking my time and educating myself. Like you, the ex still crosses my mind in a good and bad way but I’m sure with time that will go away. Keep your head up lady. There are several success stories on here and reading them gives me hope!!
  16. @LoveTheMountains, great Vday story! I’m glad you got out and enjoyed yourself. @monika, I’ve entertained the thought of not disclosing as I’ve heard and read of plenty that don’t. People getting married and having kids and never disclosing. For me, I’d much rather disclose than face the wrath if they found out later. The guy I was seeing when I found out..I told him immediately after the nurse called with my results. He flipped out and said some very negative things to me. That was 4 months ago and while there are others interested in me I don’t want to have that conversation just yet. Eventually I will put myself out there again and will work on my disclosure speech in the meantime. I definitely will disclose when I think the situation is heading into something solid. How long have you had the virus?
  17. Great Thread! It's good to hear all of the stories of HSV2 positive women not passing it along to their partners. I'm in a relationship and just found out that I have it, (1 month ago) he doesn't. I have only had 2 partners in 6+ years so I feel fairly certain that I got it from my last relationship. I'm very sad. He's being supportive and kind but it's evolving into a friendship. He won't touch me and avoids any intimacy. I think it's becoming worse than just being alone. I share with him these stories I read of discordant couples where the person who is negative never gets it but I don't think he's buying into it. I'm pretty sure once I'm able to make it a day without crying, and he thinks I can survive again, he'll leave me. It really is a terrible feeling. Thanks for all of the positive posts. They do help me try to see a future for myself. I’m sorry you’re feeling like this! I’m sure it is difficult to see your new relationship turn into a friendship after your diagnosis. Hopefully he comes around but don’t torture yourself with being just a friend if you want more. My doctor said that she’d never heard of couples splitting after one party is diagnosed with this virus. She was actually surprised when I told her my now ex walked away when I found out. She even offered to talk to him as she done so in the past for others. Some people can’t handle it and it’s ok! Hang in there..it does get better with time!!
  18. I'm thinking of going to a different doctor. just need to find the right one. I have friends who work at both of the hospitals/clinics close to me, and both work in the record keeping area. I'm still trying to cope with this myself, let alone someone else knowing. From everything I have read, it is very possible that I really am positive - I know it can lay dormant for years. I was with my husband for 12 years, either one of us could have been a carrier. I'm just freaking out because of the stigma that goes with it, but the more I read, the more I realize how common it is. Are you able to do testing online anonymously where you live? I’ve heard of people going that route with no issues. Definitely get a type specific iGg test that provide your values. You may fall into the false positive range.
  19. What kind of test did you take and what were your numbers? I’ve read that IGM tests are not reliable. I’m 42 and didn’t have any symptoms when I was tested for everything and BAM...positive for HSV 2 with index number of 5.8. My test was an IGG. My only symptom is some itchiness like the beginning of a yeast infection. I would have never thought that would be a symptom of the virus until I tested positive. The guy I was seeing and also intimate with at the time wanted nothing more to do with me again like your friend. It sucks but it also lets you know what kind of man you were dealing with. Check the type of tests they gave you.
  20. Sorry that happened to you!! I’ve known about my H2 just 4 months and in no hurry to date for this very reason. Plus the guy I was seeing when I found out ran for the hills never to be seen again. I would stop contacting him and give him time to process. Busy yourself with other things and try not to dwell on it. I know it hurts..I’ve been there!! I do question why he would even have sex then act funny afterwards. His little 20 years ago statement doesn’t make much sense either.Keep your head up. Don’t contact him again. If he wants to talk he will contact you.Hang in there!!
  21. I agree that what you’re doing is irresponsible and dangerous. Please disclose and let the chips fall where they may. You’re being selfish and this can come back to bite you in the butt later.
  22. I disclosed over text - he was talking about how he’s a sexual person ( a strange conversation I must say)! But I took that opportunity to say “ok if we’re going to be honest...I have genital herpes”. He said he figured something was up based on my ok Cupid answers, but that he was totally ok with it. Said he’d dated a girl who had it previously, that he’s definitely been exposed at some point, and that he has cold sores. We hooked up on Saturday (both of us heading south, which has been FOREVER for me). It was great, I’m getting tested tomorrow and should we keep going, we might be getting rid of condoms soon... Thanks for the update! I didn’t know that Okcupid asked those types of questions. I think that’s a great thing. I’ve been on POF but don’t remember if they had questions like that. He seemed really cool about it all and even dated women with it before so that’s real comforting. I haven’t disclosed yet except for the guy i was seeing at the time I found out but your story is encouraging!
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