I can relate to this post. I was in a monogamous relationship for many years and the first person I was intimate with after my divorce was the one who infected me. My best friend (who has had a large number of partners) even said to me when I was diagnosed, "This is so unfair! Statistically, it should have been me." Now I am attempting to date again, but it really is heartbreaking. Some people are ignorant or awful, and no I don't want to date those kinds of people anyway, but it still hurts. My most recent disclosure, however, hurt the most. He didn't shame me and he really wouldn't have cared - except that he has a chronic illness that wrecks his immune system enough already and if he were to contract HSV from me, it could potentially make things worse. That one just made me angry at the universe. He's a wonderful guy, and he'll make a wonderful friend, but I wanted to see if he could be more.