wendy7

Hi guys! NothingGoodGetsAway thank you SO MUCH for that! I wound up not going on the date bc the dude wound up being MAD flaky, but I'm definitely taking your advice. It's very helpful and I really appreciate you laying it all out!

So I've been trying not to give up on dating since I recently found out I had hsv2. I've been really getting along well seeing a guy I also know who has h. He is very handsome and cool to talk to and while I still need to get to know him more, It's nice to have a guy like you or you like a guy and not have to even think or worry about it. I think we'll probably wind up being intimate soon, but taking things slow because you never know with guys. One minute, they're into you, the next they couldn't care less. But now it's complicated. A friend of mine I've known for a long time basically expressed he wants to get with me, even if it's like only once and I really like him and honestly a few months ago, I would have totally smashed, no hesitation. But I don't want to tell him about my h. Like at all. I don't think I'm ready and I don't want to hurt him or make him feel like I'm friendzoning him, because I wouldn't do that and I actually like him. He's a wonderful, smart, ambitious man. But I'm scared to have to disclose and just have to deal with that or have him look at me differently or as someone who isn't a viable option anymore because I'm basically a walking risk to his health. This, I think, has been the hardest thing for me. To have guys show interest, and they have been showing a LOT lately. Guys I didn't even think knew I existed! But then when they talk to me and how much they like me all I can do is feel like some kind of poisonous fruit that looks good but will hurt you or like water that looks good to drink but is full of lead. idk. If anyone has any advice disclosing to someone you've known for a long time and you just found out that would be appreciated.

don't end it all girl over herpes!!! NOT worth it like, at all. you have so much wonderful life to live and when you live it (because you will) you will quickly realize it is not worth it. There will be love, maybe heartbreak, but you will get through it! Talk to someone you know and trust. Do what you can to help you through. But you WILL get through and you will be stronger and happier because of it!!

You got this, Christine! So glad you made this decision, you are stronger than you think. Sending love <3

Hey! Also new to this, found out about a month ago! You are going to go through so many emotions, and I think you should just feel them, but not let them get you down. I feel like you might not think this but it has already gotten better for me, but I've been lucky. I still struggle ver much with having this, but as time goes by, I think you'll just feel less anxious. I have felt more like myself in the past weeks. For now, since it's clearly giving you anxiety, I would refrain from thinking about telling potential lovers, unless you are absolutely in a situation where you have to disclose. I think that is just something you have to work up to. Granted, I have yet to disclose to anyone I potentially wanted to sleep with, but there's a reason for it. Different techniques work for different people but at the end of the day, you are still going to be the shit with h or not!! Don't let your self-worth go down the drain because of this it really ain't no thang in the long run!

exactly. It's so silly smh

Thank you again for responding! I totally agree, this whole thing has made me look at everything differently. I feel like in some ways I'm more confident about myself as a person, even though I do feel in many ways insecure about my h. It's a very strange place to be indeed, but I feel as if there is good to come. Today was a very positive day for me. I'm choosing to remain that way and not get caught in a cycle. With this new obstacle, I'm even more determined to make it a nonissue. There are days when I'm down, but not today!

Hey so it's been less than a month since I found out I was H+, and...I'm still out here looking for my soulmate. I'm very focused on that. I have been catting with a guy from OKC for a few months (before I found out about the H) and we're finally going to get together on Friday. The only person I would want to have sex with that I've disclosed to is my ex, to tell him to get tested (wish I didn't still love him). So the first few days after finding out, I wouldn't let a guy so much as touch me. But I'm hoping that my charming personality will make dudes not care. Also H rate is higher where I live than nationwide, so I'm hoping that works in my favor. I think my first turning point on this happened like maybe 2 weeks after I found out. I was out at a bar with some friends and this guy I'm friends with (not close or anything, but we cool) was there. I always suspected he had a thing for me and I got those same vibes from him when I saw him again. He doesn't know about H but I still feel like if I got to a point where I told him, he wouldn't care. And would see me for me. I don't think I will be getting with him. ANYWAY, back to the guy I'm seeing on Friday. I'm not going to tell him on our first date. Frankly, idk if we'll hit it off in person and also it's not his business unless we're going to have sex, which we most certainly will not be doing on any first date. I think I want to wait to see if we have a connection or not before I decide to say anything. For those who have had the experience of disclosing to someone who wasn't close to you and who you were interested in: How long did you wait to say anything? Any advice for you know, not feeling like a shitty person on this date as I'm trying to get to know him and not feeling like I have some kind of terrible secret and am an impostor? Just want to say this community has been so helpful to me. I could have been SOOOO much more depressed, but reading all your stories have given me hope. ALSO: is it just me or do tons of guys with herpes also have really buff bodies? Might explain how I got it smh.

Thank you so much for sharing your story. And thank you so much for updating so often. I just found out about this less than a month ago. Some days, I feel like me, other days, I get defeated. Just the other day I was feeling really down because my ex seems to have gotten back together with a girl he was briefly dating after he broke up with me. He broke up with her and maybe they're back together. Whatever. Not my problem. But it made me so sad because I saw a future with him. I'm on H dating sites now and hoping that I click with someone so I don't have to deal with the shitty social parts of this infection. I am learning though not to feed off stress (I used to just let stress wash over me) and I'm trying to take better care of myself, though I do admit I haven't been eating that much lately. Maybe that will change soon. Hang in there, and keep us updated!

First I thought the same about the dating life. Yet, whenever I looked to another perspective, it has turnd my dating life almost like " the old Fashion way.." , I guess u can say. The "no sex before marrage". I'm sure it isn't just as so, but I still feel like I need to be bubble boy at times .. but to be able to fully get to know someone with out the "fun" will help develop a stronger bond and a solid friendship. It has set my standards higher to find someone who is grounded, who gets me. I don't feel obligated to other people, and know more of what I want in someone.. that big set is, can I open up to them N trust them, do they love u for u, will they take the time to get that other part of u, and take time to understand it... if they don't already have it. I'm new to hvs2 as of July.. Idk how long I have had it, im slowly opening the conversation to my x i left a year ago, of 2 years , to also take a test. That way i have an idea of when I picked up the shock of my life. The view may be cheddar cheesed out- , but-- being optimistic is a must when stress is a factor that isn't worth the worry. SO TRUE about basically going old school when it comes to dating. I definitely can't be out here having 1 night stands. But I am hoping that I can still find true love, much like u.

Thank you for this. So uplifting to hear. Stories like these give me hope that I can still have a relationship again.

Hi All - I just got diagnosed this past week as well. I'm still struggling to accept it. And, how to tell the girl I'm currently dating (no sex yet). I'm afraid of the outcome. Also, asbyou mentioned....If I can find someone to accept this and if she'll want to marry me. I told my ex and he took it pretty well. I would say come with her with facts and don't make it seem like the end of the world. Because it's really not, though I, too am scared about what this could mean for my dating life. Granted, men pass the virus on to women more easily, but she also might already have it. This doesn't change who you are. I'm new to this too, but I'd say be honest and take it a day at a time. Sending you hugs <3

Hey, I'm new to this too. Just found out a few days ago, and much like you, no symptoms or anything! It's really insane and I think more people actually have it. I'm in a similar position as you. To be honest I think I know a few people who already have it and I just don't know it. I know at least three. It's something that's so common but so stigmatized, it's nuts. Finding relationships is hard as is, but if it makes you feel any better all three of the people I know (and the one I suspect) are ALL in relationships and one of them has had many relationships and a wild sex life for years. So I think we'll be okay. But it is going to make dating sooo much harder. But I think also in the end it will help the both of us find the person we're really supposed to be with.

Funny thing is when the whole usher thing was trending in he media , everybody made jokes about him, in My head I'm like half of y'all have it tho lol and none of y'all was tested for it Right! I think a lot of people have it and don't know because they don't want to deal with the stigma. But you out here infecting people unknowingly. Never had an outbreak. Oh well. I guess for now I'll be sticking to herps dating sites stay off the scene for a minute.

Hey 30ish from NY diagnosed just 2 days ago hsv 2. told maybe three people ver close to me who are non-judgemental and very close, trustworthy friends. Would just love someone to chat with to get me through.