Katieanne

To look on the bright side, herpes is an oppurtunity for a deeper self love and acceptance. You are almost being forced to love your self "warts and all" it may be a hard journey, painful at times, and some are longer than others, but just know you will make it to the other side and will be so much stronger for it in the long run.

Hey Matt! Congrats on your first herpes disclosure. I'm so happy it went well! I also had a disclosure that was similar to yours! I like the way you worded everything so accurately. There's the whole social stigma around having herpes but in reality when you look at all the facts it really is a simple skin condition. I honestly believe that we are our own worst enemy when it comes to having herpes. The diagnosis of herpes is an oppurtunity for us to really dig deep and find inner love and acceptance. Which is something EVERYONE needs (herpes or not) to enjoy a healthful relationship. People will react to how we present it to them, so if we explain the facts for what they are most people will be okay with it, and of not that is their loss.

Hi lulu, if you feel that this guy is going to be really negative and angry towards you then why are you going to tell him? You don't deserve to be put down or made to feel less than. If you don't trust that he will be accepting and supportive then maybe you should reconsider having any kind of relationship with him. Especially because you were recently diagnosed with this. You are just coming to terms with it and having some ex-boyfriend who puts you down isn't going to make you feel any better about. Either way I wish you luck !!

Hey north of the border! Yes I think the stress of telling him definitely caused me to have an outbreak. But it's been a few weeks since I have told him and I still feel like I am having prodrome symptoms. Yes, maybe it is now the stress of passing it on to him that's causing the prodrome. Hey Adrienne! I was diagnosed with herpes three years ago so the virus has been pretty regular and I'm pretty familiar with when to expect break outs. Yes I have told my partner about the herpes and he is okay with it. Maybe I am just afraid of passing it on to him and the stress is making me break out. I will try to remind myself that the chances of spreading it are really low and maybe that will help... Thanks guys

Hey Guys, so for that past month and a half I have been taking Valtrex daily. Before that I only took it during outbreaks which usually happened during my monthly cycle or during periods of a lot of stress. Since I have been taking it daily I have had two outbreaks, and constant feelings of tingling in different areas. The feelings come and go some days I feel the tingling and the next day it will be gone, and then it comes back in a different area. I am really concerned because I am in a new relationship and want to be sexual but I am constantly worried that I may be having prodrome symptoms. Has anyone else had this problem? and could the Valtrex be causing the prodrome symtoms? because prior to taking the valtrex I only had the prodrome symptoms like once a month. The prodrome symptoms are so annoying too because it's just a constant reminder that the herpes is there just waiting to pop out!

Hey everyone, So I have been dating this guy for over two months. We hang out a few times a week. Things have been getting more serious over the past month or so. Every time we hang out it is like we get closer and closer to one another, we open up a little more, trust each other a little more. It is so refreshing because it has been so long since I have felt such a close connection with anyone. So the past week or so I was starting to get really bummed after him and I would hang out because I really liked him and felt like I was in limbo with the relationship because this one thing would determine whether we would keep seeing each other or not. So for a week straight I stressed non stop over telling him. I practiced "the talk" with my family members and closest friends. I analyzed every possible reaction I could get from him. The week I decided to tell him, I broke our plans more than once because I couldn't muster up the courage to tell him. So fast forward to Friday night, our date night. We are at his house sitting at the dining room table having dinner and we are having such a good conversation, laughing and smiling, but i am feeling kind of sad because I know by the end of the night this relationship could be all over. I finally get the courage to tell him there is something we need to talk about. He says okay what is it? I say I have a viral skin condition that is transmitted through sex. I have herpes. He say okay well thanks for telling me. I really respect your honesty. I start to reel off statistics on how common herpes is and how 1/4 people have it but most are unaware. He says he's aware of that and that this doesn't change anything about our relationship. That he doesn't look at me any differently and that he is just happy I told him. So I continued to inform him that there is a risk that he could contract the virus and that I take daily suppressive medication to prevent viral shedding. I invite him to come to the doctors with me to ask any further questions. He says he is more than willing to go if I want him to. I said no unless he feels it necessary. It's been about two weeks since I have told him. Things are good between us. We are still taking it slow for other reasons that have nothing to do with herpes. I just feel that it is important to really know someone before you become that intimate with them. However, I am so happy to have found such a good non judgmental guy and I am looking forward to our future together.

If this guy really likes you he will accept you the way that you are. I recently put myself out there and told a guy that I had it and he was completely okay with it. He didn't even blink an eye when I told him. There are much more important things in relationships that need to be worked out. Having herpes is small stuff in the grand scheme of things. If this guy really likes you then he will do everything in his power to be with you. And if he can't accept that you have herpes, it is not you as a person he is rejecting. It is the skin condition that he is afraid of. Also, I think that at 36 he is probably mature enough to see herpes for what it is. A skin condition. I wish you lot's of luck and am sure you will be okay!

Hi ellemmell, Thanks for your support! You are right I guess "society" does reject a lot of things in general and not just herpes. I just have to figure out how to love myself despite this label and what other people think. I think anyone could find one thing about themselves that they could be rejected for. I too did not have a lot of confidence before the diagnosis. Contracting herpes was just another challenge that I needed to overcome on my journey. In a way, having herpes has been a blessing because it has caused me to slow down a bit in my romantic relationships, and really decide if I see a long term future with a guy before I disclose my status. I did end up telling him I have herpes, and he was okay with it. At first, I was so confused because I had built up all of this stress and anxiety over telling him. For a week straight that is all I could think about. Everyday I analyzed every scenario that could have happened after I told him. Once I told him he was not shocked or scared or anything. I told him that I have a sexually transmitted skin condition that is known as herpes. I said that it is very common, that 1 in 4 people have it, but most do not know. He said that he was aware of that and knows how common it is. He said that his ex-girlfriend has HPV and he understands how common STD's are. I told him that there is a risk of contracting it, that the risk is really low. He was completely okay with it and said that it doesn't change anything about our relationship. I told him to feel free to ask me any questions about it and that he is more than welcome to come to the doctor's with me to ask any further questions. We haven't had sex yet because I really want to be sure that the relationship is serious before I become that intimate with someone. However, for the time being it is nice to have someone else know my secret and be totally okay with it. On a side note I am so happy for you and all that you have overcome in your life. You are a really positive person and I am so grateful for that!

Hello all, I was diagnosed with herpes about three years ago. At first it was devastating. I lived in denial with it for about a year, and then I slowly began to accept that I had this diagnosis. At first it was hard for me to believe that anyone would ever be willing to have a relationship with me because of herpes. However, herpes has allowed me to do a lot of inner work on myself and I have learned to love and accept myself even with herpes. If anything this experience has been a blessing because it has caused me to take a break from romantic relationships and work on the most important relationship of all; the one with myself. I have learned to accept herpes for what it is. An annoying skin condition that flares up from time to time and causes a lot of inconvenience in my life! Having herpes does not define me in any way. I am still a brilliant, smart, compassionate, good person. This doesn't change anything about who I am as a person. However, I am struggling with the stigma associated with having it. I feel that other people's perceptions of herpes is so false. I feel that society rejects people with herpes and it is making me lose confidence in myself. I have been dating a guy for a few months and I feel that the time is coming to share with him that I have herpes. I am just so afraid of how he will react when I tell him. We have a very safe and communicative relationship, but I am just so afraid that he will reject me when I tell him.