Wander2wonder

@danigirl I just responded to your post =).

I am so sorry, girl. There is so much ignorance and misinformation being spread. And honestly, you’re probably right about him. He’s probably not going to get tested, regardless of what he said when you asked him. It sounds like (no offense) he may have just agreed to that because you were upset and he was cornered. Under the circumstances, regardless of his right to reject me, I would’ve been hurt and pissed off too. The next time will be better =).

@danigirl awwww, I feel for you, girl. We never got that far. I stopped dating him last month after he started displaying red flags. My advice would be to make sure that you really get to know the person before you put yourself through the stress. I can give you some hope though, even though this isn’t the same situation. I randomly met a girl online (I’m bisexual), and even though I stated that I’m “HSV+”, she apparently didn’t know what that meant, and I ended up explaining it through texts when she questioned it. We met up last week and she asked questions about things like the chances of her getting it, whether and how I often I get outbreaks, etc. And then she tried to sleep with me, lol. That will never be anything more than a casual situation, if that, but I guess it goes to show that there are people who don’t care, once they understand what they’re dealing with. But I understand your fear, and I know how hard it is to decide when the right moment is. There are people on this board with far more experience disclosing than me, but I’m more than happy to help you in any way I can, and you have my support. I’m rooting for you.

@ruiner Just an edit to my comment last night. He was clearly on my brain, but I was trying to say that I haven't told anyone IRL - not family, friends, etc. So disclosing is extra scary, but I'm going to prep myself by going through other threads on here, and do it anyway.

@annalove Wow, that's so hard for me to imagine at this point. But just goes to show how unpredictable (in a good way) that people can be. I'm so glad that everything worked out for her and that gives me hope. Thank you so much for sharing.

@hikinggirl Thank you so much. You are right - people make all types of statements that they don't necessarily mean. And either way, it will give me one disclosure under my belt, which is inevitably coming at some point regardless. I've read your comments in other threads and it's you and several other people on here who kept me from losing my mind immediately upon being diagnosed. Please don't stop responding in these threads.

@Ruiner Thank you. I'm trying to gather some courage. I've been choosing to push forward, but this caught me off guard and I literally feel disgusting - and I haven't even told him. @guy84 Thank you and the same to you. The success stories on this site are inspirational and one of the only reasons why I've tried in this situation at all.

Hi all. This has been a crazy past few months since being diagnosed. After praying that by some miracle I didn't have herpes, I came home from vacation to a letter in the mail confirming that I do. And because I've felt leperish, lately I've been trying STD friendly online dating sites, but I'm having the same luck I've had in the past with traditional sites. Because dating isn't hard enough right? I have really been hoping to meet a guy with the same thing (HSV2) as me. But that's not why I'm writing. I met an older guy a while ago IRL who I've hung out with a few times. Our chemistry is amazing. We both have up walls and understand that about each other, but also have the same blunt, sarcastic sense of humor. We laugh all the time and it's refreshing because I haven't had that in a long time. Needless to say, things have been going well. And then today we are joking on the phone as usual, but the conversation took a sexual turn for the first time. And when he jokes about being a "dirty old man", I tell him that he should be a clean one. And he responds by saying that he doesn't mean he's dirty, and that he doesn't mean he has any diseases, because he doesn't. And "diseases are nasty". My heart sank. He asked me why I was so quiet and I had to make something up before stumbling off the phone. I've been trying to figure out when to tell him, and trying to wait for our third (next) time of going out. I'm terrified now. I'm trying to figure out whether I should just back away now. I feel so stupid for imagining that he could really see me for me and not a "nasty disease". A large part of me wishes I'd stuck with my first doctor's advice to not bother with a blood test. Is there a point in continuing?