prettylady_92

I have been with my current partner for almost 6 months now and we have been intimate with each other for about 3 months. We use a condom every time we have sex to protect him from getting herpes. He mentioned today that he hates always having to wear a condom when we have sex, because sometimes it gets uncomfortable and sometimes he'd like to just have sex without one. But he said he understood the situation and why we always need to use one but that it just sucks sometimes. And I told him I didn't know what to tell him, because I know the risk of him getting it is a lot higher if he doesn't wear a condom. But I take Valtrex daily, so I was wondering what are the odds of him getting it if we don't use a condom, since I'm taking that every day if we only have sex when I'm outbreak free? I would have sex with him without a condom, I just don't want him to get herpes.

I am thinking about my clit pierced. This won't affect my herpes at all will it?

Ever since I disclosed, things have been different. We haven't hung out and we've only seen each other at work. We have texted but I'm not sure if we haven't hung out because we're both kinda busy or because he doesn't wanna hang out with me now. He's been kind of distant lately and I don't know what to do about it.

Thank you. I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders after telling him. I hope this works out good.

Well I just told him and I think it went pretty well but he wouldn't really look me on the eye after I told him. I could tell his mind was racing and I kept asking him what he was thinking. And shortly after that he said he needed to get home. He said it didn't change his feelings toward me, but he seemed distant. I'm afraid he'll go home and think about it and change his mind. I guess I just need to give him space to make his decision.

I accept the fact that I have herpes. I don't feel ashamed and I'm not even angry anymore. I no longer feel disgusting or like I'm not worth anyone's time. When I first found out it was devastating. It was the lowest point in my life. Bit after learning everything I could about herpes I realized that I wasn't being fair to myself and that I was just reacting to the stigma behind it. I finally came to the realization that its just an annoying skin condition and that it doesn't make me any less of a person. I'm a wonderful person. I do good things and live a relatively good life. I have alot of friends and am very well liked. I am not bothered anymore by the fact that I have herpes. I love myself regardless. it actually made me realize who I am ad discover myself more than I thought I could. But it took me awhile to get to this point. I just feel like people who do not have herpes can't possibly understand and that they will just go by the stigma that surrounds herpes and let themselves be scared away because they don't wanna take the time To learn about it and try to accept it. And that's understandable I guess. It's a hard thing to do. And it's a big risk to take to still decide to be with someone even though they have herpes. I personally think I am worth the risk. I just don't know if he will see it that way.

I just don't even know how to bring it up. How should I start the conversation?

Mostly fear. I really like this guy and I don't wanna lose him and I'm just afraid he won't be able to accept the fact that I have herpes.

Thanks. Your links helped me a little. I was going to disclose yesterday, but I chickened out. I don't know if I can do it.

I found out I had herpes in June and I have not had to disclose to anyone yet. The only people that know are my sister and my best friend. I am talking to this guy and we've been talking for about a month. Things are getting kind of serious between us and I'm starting to get real feelings for him. We've talked about sex and we both want to have sex, but I don't know how to tell him I have herpes. And I'm afraid that he'll reject me once he knows. He's young and I just feel like he'll judge me and start treating me different. And we work together, so I definitely do no want things to be akward at work and I hope he doesn't tell anyone we work with. I haven't had sex since I found out I had herpes. This will be the first partner that I've had to tell. I'm so sick to my stomach about it, because I don't know what to say, or how he will react. But I need to tell him soon, before my feelings for him get any stronger. Please give me some tips and advice on how to bring it up and how to tell him. And how long do I give him to take it all in? I'm a wreck over here, so prompt responses are appreciated!

I don't think you should take a semester off from school to deal with it. That's only gonna put you in a situation where herpes is all you think about. Stay in school. Focus on that and the herpes will take a back burner in your life. There are creams that you can get to help the itching. Also, you could take melatonin to help you sleep better at night. And my advice would be don't tell your mother. I haven't told me mom, because I know she would freak out and probably just make me seek worse about the whole thing. And she would probably tell the whole family too, so I won't be telling her unless I absolutely have to. But if you take some time off school I feel like you're letting herpes win. Don't do that! You can beat this and I know you'll get through it! Don't let herpes run your life! Show it that you're the boss! Good luck with everything!

Awh. Yay! Congrats! I'm so happy for you. This gives me hope that someday I'll find someone who is so supportive of it and doesn't care that I have H.

Lauren1x, I feel the same way. I'm 21 and it would be nice to have casual sex, but I'm not sure if I can. Of course, I wouldn't have sex with someone without disclosing first and I don't want to disclose to just anybody. So I honestly feel like I won't have sex again until I find someone who I really care about and feel comfortable telling. And even then I would risk rejection. But I'm not afraid of rejection. It's a part of life! I have a friend that has herpes as well and she has casual sex all the time and tells the guys that she has it and she said most of them really do not care. So it's really up to you, I mean life is all about risks anyway. What do you have to lose? If you want to have casual sex, don't let herpes stop you. Just make sure you always tell the person you have it first and of they don't care that's awesome, if they do, the worst thing that can happen is they don't want to be intimate with you. So what? You'll find someone who does eventually. Don't let it get you down! :)

That's how mine feels.

Is it okay to take it with Valtrex?

Ive read some stuff that says the amino acid L-lysine helps prevent herpes outbreaks. Is this true? Should I start taking it, because I get herpes outbreaks often.

Thanks Kaybee! Your support and words of encouragement really are helping me!

A couple weeks ago I was having some issues down there and it just don't feel right so I decided to get tested just for peace of mind. I told myself oh its nothing just a yeast infection or something these results will come back negative. Well I was wrong. It was Monday evening when I got the phonecall confirming one of my biggest fears, having an STD. My doctor was so calm when she told me but I couldn't stop freaking out. I just drove around for hours and cried. I wanted to crash my car. I drove past a telephone pole 6 times and thought seriously about going full speed into it, but I decided not to. I was a scared, confused, angry. I didn't know what to think, what to say, or what to do. I feel like my life is over. I'm only 21. My love life will nonexistent. I feel as though I'll be alone forever. Who will want to have sex with me when I tell them I have herpes? No one. Who will want to marry me? No one. And then I thought about kids. I wanted kids one day but I'll probably never have them now. I've read that it's really easy to spread herpes to your baby during childbirth. So here I am, I'll be single forever, I'll never have children. I'm just depressed about the whole thing. I'm so mad at myself for being so careless and naive. I've only slept with 2 guys. My most recent boyfriend was who I got the herpes from. I was always really careful and had never had sex without a condom until him. I cared about him and trusted him so when he said he didn't want to use a condom I just went along with it. He never told me he had herpes. I don't know if he even knew he had it. If ihad to guess I'd say he probably knew and just didnt care to pass it on to me. We broke up about a month ago. I don't know if I should tell him. I don't even know how to bring it up. And if I did tell him he would probably try and turn it around and say I gave it to him, because he's a shitty person. We don't talk anymore so I don't want to randomly contact him to tell him he gave me herpes. I just don't know what to do. I feel sick to my stomach. I can't eat, I can't sleep. All I can do is think about how I have herpes. I am so disgusted with myself. I don't feel sexy anymore. I just feel nasty. I wanna feel normal again. I just need someone who knows what I'm going through to guide me and support me and help me get through this! Thanks for taking the time to read this.