Sagg88

Sending a big hug your way... I guess I'm officially at the 9 month mark now that it's September. I understand your pain, concerns, and frustrations. It's not easy.... but at the end of the day it makes us all stronger individuals. It builds our character, teaches us self worth, and forces us to be more proactive in our lives when it comes to dating. I'm no expert, I have my own struggles I deal with when it comes to this... but in my opinion in order to deal with the psychological affects... you just have to deal with yourself first, love yourself, understand yourself, and accept yourself for the bright talented young lady that you are.

Sorry I've been MIA, I had finals :-) Thank you so much for your kind words, I am def. taking them to heart.

Thank you for such kind words :-) I shared everything with of friend who's more like a sister to me... and she just let me get it all out... and after she gave me a boost you know what she turned around and said.... what if I told you I had herpes too... the comfort I felt at that time was unreal. I've really taken everything said to heart, thank you so much! Here's to better days :-P

I guess it's time for me to introduce myself... instead of just lurking. I am 24 years old and a single mom. I've been in a relationship for a year and a half now. In December during the holidays I had my first outbreak.It was a painful experience and my doctor said it was one of the worst that she's seen yet. I told him right away and he was in shock at first. Shock turned to accusations...accusing me of sleeping with a coworker that old enough to be my dad.... all because the coworker invited me to a Christmas party after his brother could not attend. So every time we get into a fight this comes up. So it has been about 8 months now and it has been a really hard time. He has since moved out of state claiming he needs to find himself. He said he would come back at the end of the year and that he would save money up so we could buy a house. Its been a rough couple of months since he's been gone. He has refused to talk about our situation... so when I needed a friend just to listen he was not there. I asked him several times throughout the past almost 8 months if he had it or not... each time I asked he said no that he did not have it. We got into some pretty heated arguments with him putting all the blame on me. Well in June he finally talked about it and admitted to having it. he said that he remembered his ex wife saying something about her sons dad but never thought that he had contracted it. His test results came back positive not negative but he refused to accept it. A week later after this conversation he didn't deny having it but he did deny the conversation that we had about it. He went back to accusing me of cheating. Things have been pretty hard since then. I feel like I could have done a lot of healing over the past several months if he had just come clean before hand. We have been on the verge of a break up... after hanging up the phone in my face for telling him how he made me feel, he didn't call or text for a week and I assumed that we were no longer together. I wanted us to be together but I was just tired of how he was treating me and the things that he was saying to me.... Anyways an old friend contacted me and normally I wouldn't respond but given how things were in the relationship that I was in or no longer in .... I responded and we saw each other for a few minutes in passing. It was nothing major but it did happen. The next day my boyfriend decided to text me and apologize... it brought a smile to my face but at the same time I wasn't going to keep a secret from him. So I told him about the contact that me and my old friend had. .and now he hates me. he says the brief contact is enough for him to not speak to me ever again. I'm somewhat in shock because I just wanted to be honest with him I knew that he would kind of react this way but I didn't think that he would take it to this extent... so now the relationship is over according to him... I'm sitting here hurting and confused because I don't know what my future looks like. Everyone keeps telling me that I don't need to be with him because of the way that he was treating me... it was really bad. I mean some of the things that he would say...you just don't say them to a person that you're supposed to love. So I'm sitting here and I'm hurting, because I don't know what my future looks like. I feel like I might be alone forever. I haven't told anyone about me contracting the disease so it's just been something between me and him. I haven't had an outbreak since the first one. There were a few times that I thought that I was having an outbreak but it turned out not to be one...so I have essentially been symptom free since the first one. I feel like I'm in hell right now because my son was really attached. The thought of just trying to date again sends me in a deep dark place. I feel like herpes has taken control of my life. I'm normally a really happy person but since finding out I have been falling into a deep depression. I want to reclaim my life back but I am scared and I don't know how. I apologize for the length of this... I really needed to vent. Thank you so much for your time, you all seem like wonderful people to be around.

I can relate to this a lot.... the joy one minute then the pain the next...I've been on an emotional roller coaster since Christmas 2012... and while I've tried accepting it for what it is, my boyfriend ( maybe ex?) hasn't made it easy. He actually denied it until last month. He accused me of just about everything... the heartache was and still is constant. All I want is real love, real unconditional love... and that to me ( his lying and accusations) aren't real love. I can't help but to think that because of this diagnoses... that I'll be alone... I want to be happy, I do but I'm scared. I'm new here by the way... I'll post my story later... just felt the need too connect.