IcanOvercome

I also had the fact sheet printed out. Told him I was asymptomatic and that I had meds I could & would take to lessen the risk of transmission. I let him know how hard it was for me to tell but how important it was. He definitely wasn’t turned away because he is making lots of plans for sexy time 😆😆😆

Well I had a “script” typed on my phone and I just read over it again and again. only to try not to forget anything I wanted to say out of nervousness and so I could be confident in what I was saying. I didn’t read it off to him & I definitely left some things I wanted to say out... but I got what I needed to say out, then we were able to talk more about it later. My “script”: ”I’m going to jump and I’m asking you to hold my hand while I fall. You are somebody I enjoy spending time with & as much of a surprise as it is to me, I have started opening up to you. Because of that, I have something personal about me that I want to share with you. I am afraid of what you may think or that it may push you away but I am willing to risk that & put it all out there. I hope you respect that. Ive mentioned to you something that happened to me years ago, but there is more to know about that. I contracted HSV2 (one of the viruses that causes cold sores/herpes) and I'd like to know how you feel about this and also give you any time to ask questions and/or do research about it. It's just part of my life, something that is not a big deal for me, but also something that I like to be up-front and open about. This issue hasn't had a negative impact on my sex life or me physically, and I respect any choice you make.”

Good luck!!

I did tell him that having kids was still possible. We were kind of awkward the rest of the night. He thought I didn’t want him in my space and I thought he was being distant. We talked about it this morning & it was just confusion. He told me everything is fine & I need to relax. I definitely cried tears of relief after all was said and done. He is very patient and understanding. Definitely blessed to have him in my life. Glad we can focus on us without me holding back due to fear! Mom happy to have a successful disclosure story! With the right person, anyone can! Thank you all!

Well I told him. He was cool with it & told me it doesn’t change how he feels. He told me I need to relax. Lol His only question was can I still have kids. So my first disclosure was a success!

For me, it has been a little over a year since diagnosis. I haven’t yet had a reason to disclose either. I’ve always been scared of that idea too, but I’ve just changed my thinking. Using it to my advantage. If I tell him and he sticks around, then that’s a good sign to me & makes me look forward to growing with him. If he doesn’t accept it, then that saves me to trouble & time of working towards a relationship with somebody that doesn’t deserve me.

Thank y’all!! So little update... I didn’t disclose lastnight. Turns out that the stress of telling mixed with the wine I was drinking to calm my nerves was the perfect recipe for the best sleep I’ve had in a long time! I passed smooth out on him! Left him up watching football. 😂 Tomorrow night is the night! Less wine & less wasting time running through what I’m going to say in my head. So send me good vibes tomorrow!

HSV2. Read it written out is what I meant. He is coming over tonight. I also have the handout printed out already.

Debating now if I’m going to speak it or let them read it. If they read it then I can give them some space in the other room. But then that doesn’t seem very confident. I’m just going to feel it out and see what seems right in the moment

Well... the title pretty much sums it up! I am getting ready to disclose for the first time ever! Feeling nervous but oddly ready for it. I guess ready to just get it over with! Wish me luck & I’ll be back at some point to let y’all know how it goes.

So this may be a little off topic so forgive me if this is not the place for this post. However, maybe it will spark interest for others that need to recharge their life! I am want to take some solo trips. Take time for myself to get in tune with my life & really focus on the good. I am not H, but who am I? I live in Texas but I am not opposed to traveling to different states. What I’d like is if you all could share some ideas on where to go. Maybe some places you have been. I did find some cool resort type healing places when I searched “self-discovery” trips. I do like the outdoors, cold or warm. I have no limits really on what I’m looking for. Can be a weekend of hiking, just look out over a beautiful scenery, or a weekend inside a spa, meditating or just reading and writing. Thanks in Advance.

Diagnosed in Dec 2017. HSV2. I have felt pretty good for the most part. People are not lying when they say the stigma is the worst part. I only experience some feelings of sadness/anxiety when I think of dating again or disclosing. I’m on suppressive meds (acyclovir 2x a day). I have missed a few doses the past week & I recently switched to night shift so my body is a little off right now. I’ve not really had any physical symptoms down there. At this point I only have a few small concerns or questions: - Back acne. I started having a few (what appear to be) acne spots on my upper back. Red raised bumps that sometimes are itchy. I also see a black head. I’ve never had this problem before. Could it be H related? An outbreak? From the meds? Stress? Not enough water? I’m just concerned about this being a new constant for me! - I like to stay clean shaved down there. I’m scared to shave too much or to cause irritation/spreading. If I don’t shave enough then the hair is irritating. What do I do? Has anyone had laser hair removal after diagnosis? - Sex. I haven’t had sex since diagnosis and I know suppressive therapy, condoms, and not having sex during an outbreak is best, but for future reference... (given the other party understands risks & is okay with it) What about unprotected sex? Oral sex? I don’t want to totally kill the vibe of my sex life. Thanks in advance.

I meant to say that there *are* beautiful women out there with H also. Just to show myself that anyone can have H and I’m definitely not alone. Putting a face to it helped.

I recently got on positive singles as well! I had the same reaction as you! I am a 26yr old Female. (Just FYI) I didn’t want to limit myself to only people with H, but I wanted to at least see what was out there and have conversation without the anxiety of future disclosure. I will say, I only found maybe 4 people on there that even peaked my interest, but the anxiety free conversation & just seeing so many other people living with H like I am definitely helped! If I went to the chat room I could see everyone’s online (women & men). May sound crazy but I would look at some of the women’s profiles on there just to see that there aren’t beautiful women just like me out there. Adrial, thank you for the info! I’ll check it out also!

Feel free to message me!

Take a step back & breath! You are not worthless & dirty! This is not a reason to end it all. Truthfully, there is no good reason. Let’s talk about what you’re doing to control the physical symptoms or prevent an outbreak. Then we can talk about what you’re doing to stay positive. I’m no counselor and I’m new to this myself, but I believe having a friend and talking through things can help tremendously! I’d love to help however I can. I am 26 and I have my days of negative thoughts about dating and my future so know you’re not alone.

I just want to say that I commend you for doing your research & coming here with your questions! I would wish for the same whenever I disclose to somebody. This post actually brought me a sense of hope. Best of luck to you both!

Btw- when I say breakout on my back I just mean red like acne bumps. Not a ton but about 8 spread out. Not painful or anything, just one of those annoying things nobody wants. Wasn’t sure if it could be from HSV, the antivirals, or maybe not enough water.... or completely unrelated. I plan to see a dermatologist if it doesn’t clear up soon on it’s own.

December 12th was the day of diagnosis. (HSV2) I took acyclovir for 10 days & then I decided to start suppressive therapy. I will use this post as a place to come back & update. It will hopefully help somebody else & allow me to see my progress. Beginning: (12/12/17) I had flu-like symptoms and by the next day I had a few spots in my genital area and I knew what it had to be. That cleared up within a few days. I was emotional the first day but got it together pretty quick & just dove into positive posts, books, music & overall thinking! I would have some tingling in legs & buttocks but it quit after the first maybe 2 weeks. During the first month I also took Vitamin C, L-Lysine, & sometimes zinc. I soaked in the tub a lot, used coconut oil & tea tree oil down there. Started suppressive therapy. Currently: (2/26/18) I ran out of my month of acyclovir almost two weeks ago. I plan on picking up the next script this week. I have to make a little drive to go get it & I just haven’t been able to. Not taking it for almost two weeks had allowed me to see what I feel like off of it. I had not been having any outbreaks but I am starting to feel one coming on. The itching & twinges has come back down there. That just lets me know that I want to stay on suppressive therapy for a while. Having the symptoms of an outbreak gives me some anxiety. I use an app to remind me to take my medicine & it helps me keep track of any days I missed and trends. I have not been taking the l-lysine, vitamin c or zinc this last month. Recently had some changes that I’m not sure are HSv related or not. I’ve started breaking out on my upper Bavk which is not normal for me at all. I also have dry patches on my face. *Anybody else ever experienced this?? I have good and bad days as I’m sure everyone else does. I don’t feel as sad or dirty as I did in the beginning, but I have days where I have some anxiety & just annoyed with knowing I have H.

@MakinIT2017 oh yea he is a “catch” (definite pun intended!) I’m so very blessed to have my best friend! She keeps me grounded on my bad days for sure. Having this forum is so helpful, in that it allows me to vent, share, and not feel alone even though I haven’t disclosed to the ones around me! I think that once I get on anxiety medication, and speak with a counselor I will consider disclosing. I don’t feel that I NEED to disclose to anyone (family & friends). I do not hv want partners or intend on having any for a while so I’m good there. I just want to have a good grip on my emotions, be level headed, & improve my self image before I decide to share with anybody. @PresentMoment, thank you for messaging me! I considered messaging his girlfriend or somehow telling her anonymously only because of her pregnancy. For a few reasons, I decided not to.

Thanks for sharing!! Very wise! 26y F almost 3months into diagnosis & figuring out the emotional highs and lows. Overall doing great, but the bad days are a chance to grow!

@Tere3 I have had a few things happen in my life that have cause anxiety for me. For years I said, “ I’m not depressed I just have anxiety.” I’ve now come to terms with the fact that I do have anxiety and although I’ve not been diagnosed yet, I’m sure I suffer from depression & possible ptsd. These things were hard to come to terms with because I felt like I was admitting that I was crazy. However, I feel very strong for making it so long dealing with these things & being able to function while hiding it from everyone. I also feel like I have taken control by deciding to do something about it! As soon as I get health insurance (I’m in the middle of finding a job with benefits) I will be getting a PCP & finding a good counselor. I look forward to opening up & working through my emotions as well as the possibility of medication. (If needed). Best of luck to you!! @chis0920 - I hope you are feeling better now! I look forward to hopefully hearing an update!

I hear ya! I do pretty well but I have my days too. Frustrated with myself for not being more careful, or missing the days I never thought about stds & my old dating concerns were so small compared to what I’m concerned with now. Seems like little things make me think about it so it’s constantly on my mind. I just try to ignore it so it doesn’t overwhelm my thoughts & I try to balance it out with positive thoughts & affirmations.

Btw - that’s the first time or really shared the details of my story & only 3 people in my life know about the assault. So that felt good to get off my chest.

My story is similar. I am almost 100% positive I know exactly who my giver was. We were “talking” or seeing each other for almost a month. Had sex 3 times. I don’t get around and why I felt so comfortable with him, idk. Now I’m kicking myself for behaving out of my norm. So, he doesn’t have social media and when we went to dinner everyone couldn’t believe he had a girl with him. I thought “oh this is nice. He must be alone all the time so that’s a good sign”. I had my first OB a few days after our 3rd encounter, I got my diagnosis & confided in my best friend (she is still the only person that knows). She somehow came across a girls Facebook & BAM! This girl has pictures with the guy at a gender reveal!!! Wow! So I definitely didn’t see him being honest. I felt bad for her but then I wasn’t aware of whether they both have it and know or not. I also didn’t want to be blamed. I just told him I wasn’t interested in hanging out one night and I never heard from him again. He doesn’t know about my diagnosis or that I know he has a pregnant gf. My only other suspicion or I guess the only other place my mind goes is... I was sexually assaulted years ago & in the back of my mind wondered if it could’ve came from him and just now showed up. However, I don’t believe that to be the case. I’ve handled it well emotionally but I definitely have my bad days. Being a single girl in my 20s who is far from easy & has always dreamed of a family and kids, I struggle with the what if’s. The posts here bring me a lot of hope so I am thankful for that!! I find it frustrating that I have so many people around me that sleep around and seem so careless, but Me, the one that has been called a prude or made fun of for going years without sex, ends up with something. I get it can happen to anybody, but it takes a lot to fight off those angry & bitter emotions. Also, I have encountered the comments & jokes frequently. Today actually, an older married man was telling me how I seemed like a great girl with a good head on my shoulders and pretty much talking me up. Then he goes on to say that his wife gets jealous but he would never cheat on her for so many reasons. One reason being “I don’t want to catch anything l. That seems to be rampant these days.” Internally I’m screaming and wanting to educate people when this happens! *sorry for the rant*