adventurelovelife

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I just find it SO weird. Like, after years of it being in one place, it's in another? And it seems to be back again already in the new place, which is also weird. Has anyone else found that a new place OB acts like as if it was a new infection and comes back more? Anyway, I suppose it doesn't really matter, but it is lame that my original one very manageable and (all things considered) non annoying place, and now this one is much more annoying. Oh well.

Hey I should also add I have had success with "in the moment" random disclosures too. But they were "one-offs" so I feel like it's a bit different. Anyway, add that to the pile of "success stories"- glad to be helpful. this forum helped me a lot when i was freaking out in the past.

Hey all, These are both old stories now, but I wanted to throw them into the pile for general inspiration (and to remind myself haha). Those of you who remember me might remember that my very first talk was like horrifically awful, so took me a long time to get the confidence to try again. Thank god I did. And I know it may be hard again, and I may be rejected again, but not everyone will reject me, and hey, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right? (gotta love those cliches). Story #1: Dating a guy for about 3 weeks when the "talk" became necessary. We went for a hike and I remember being freaked out the whole time. We came back and I sat him down on the couch and told him everything, very calmly. He asked a lot of questions-looked kind of taken aback. After we had talked for awhile, he looked at me and said "I don't care". We spent the night together but didn't sleep together, which made me wonder if he *did* care. But, nope. Our relationship continued for the next 4 months until he moved away. Another interesting thing is that we knew, from the beginning, that this was not a serious relationship. He was almost 10 years younger than me and he was always planning on moving away. Story #2: I had posted about this story on this site, in a panic, because I had done something bad. I had been periodically sleeping with a friend of mine, and had not told him. How that came to be is a long story and not worth re-hashing (needless to say it was one of those things that happened drunkenly and then kind of spiralled out of control). I eventually told him, and gave him links to a million sites including this one, and was absolutely terrified he was going to hate me and never talk to me again. Well, not only did that not happen, but he was extremely understanding (I still feel grateful for this). In fact, he gave me kudos for being so honest and said he had a lot of respect and admiration for me (not what I was expecting, at all). He was obviously shocked and did his research and what not, but said he understood how it had played out and he could see easily how it could happen. I was so relieved that our friendship was still intact (because he means a lot to me) and that was all I cared about. But, interestingly enough, we have continued to sleep together periodically, even after the great reveal. The first time it happened was almost 2 months later (we continued to hang out pretty normally) and I remember being shocked. Anyway, the point is that I have with him what I never thought I would ever be able to have again-a casual sex (with a good friend, mind you-so way better than normal casual sex) situation that happens occasionally, with someone who knows. So, it's possible. Anyway. I feel like both these stories are interesting because both of them involve situations where there was no long term relationship happening. Soooo good luck peeps (and myself) and remember that there are people, in all sorts of different situations, who will be understanding and willing to take the risk,and who appreciate your honesty.

Hey all, Been a long time since I've been on here! I came back because I'd always meant to write out a few of my successful "disclosure" talks for people, and also because I've just had something confirmed that I find interesting (and annoying as hell). I have genital HSV 1. I've always had outbreaks in the same one spot (inner vagina on the left). One time it was on the right, but that's it. I've had it for at least 3 years. I get outbreaks fairly frequently, unfortunately, but they are mild. Last week I had a (very painful) new outbreak in my anal area. I went to the doctor and got it swabbed (and there were a few sores-not just one). I was pretty convinced it was going to be type 2 (because of how much more painful it was, and the fact that it was in a totally new area), but it turns out it's not. It's type 1, in a new spot. SO, after 3 years, I have a brand new outbreak. I had had sex the week before (both anal and normal). Just curious on anyone else's experiences around this. I had finally stopped feeling paranoid about transferring it around to myself, but it sure seems like this is what has happened. (or, could it be a different strain of HSV 1 given to me by the guy I'm sleeping with?? I' mean, it doesn't matter, but it just seems weird)

i love your attitude. Definitely been working on shifting mine (especially since I've had some much more positive experiences lately....my first person didn't run screaming, but literally got up in the middle of our conversation and walked out of my house, so it was pretty traumatizing). Regardless, I love the idea of texting a mate to joke about it.I tend to text my friends freaking out about the potential talk, but what is going to happen will happen regardless, and your way is much less of a negative energy creator. I have found the more people I tell, the better I feel. I still dont' tell everyone (and in fact, I think I need to make sure I'm careful about who I can trust) but being open and trying not to feel shame is so, so important. Thanks so much for writing.

i just had the same thing happen to me....give it some time but unfortunately actions often speak louder than words. Good luck and remember you will find someone who won't care at all. The times that the talk goes well we just continue on like nothing ever happened-those are the best :)

Hey-just so you know_I have a friend who has had H for a long time (over ten years) and has tons of casual sex. She always discloses. She has even had threesomes, and in fact was just in a relationship where they had other partners too. Even though your options will definitely be more limited, it's certainly not impossible.

thanks

Hey! I've been curious about this as well.

haha. thanks. not the answer i was hoping to hear…but thanks anyway :)

thanks-i'm specifically curious about males getting it from females-i understand that the risk is way higher for a female to get it, even with a condom. Are seeker and Sil88 males?

I'm curious if any of you have gotten HSV from a situation where your partner was infected, but you had always used condoms/protection. Thanks

My doctor told me the same thing, but anytime I have had sex without disclosing (which has been two times-both times incredibly drunk-both times with protection) I have felt guilty. I don't think that it's good advice. It's a good thing to tell your partner what the doctor said when you are disclosing (it's part of my speech-i think it helps them feel better) but, yah…like everyone said..i think you would have wanted to know too, right? Anyway. Good luck.

I have never had them scab, or even look like blisters (with the watery part, I mean). Mine just look like small cuts, or open sores that eventually go away. So, as dancer says, we are all different :)