Wishicouldgoback85

I am getting the test done on Tuesday but all signs point to both Oral and genital herpes. When the GH OB first occurred it's been hard enough knowing I could never have sex again without hurting someone else. Now I can't even kiss anyone without disclosing?!?! This is so upsetting and makes me feel like a leper. How would anyone like me enough to be okay with this awful disease?! Without even being able to kiss them? I am mourning the loss of all romantic functions.

I am worried because I gave myself oral herpes that o will give it to my hands and eyes and eventually my whole body

I can't tell my family because I have a niece and a nephew that I'm worried I won't allowed to be around.

I have watched all of her videos in an effort to feel more comfortably. Nothing helps. My hands are raw from washing so much. I can't stop this. I appreciate your words but I just don't know. I call the suicide hotline nightly.

I don't think I can possibly get lower than I am now. Over the past three months, my boyfriend of two years left me, the man I thought I was going to marry and I contracted genital herpes from a man I randomly hooked up with to try to regain confidence. Unfortunately I have seemed to also auto inoculated myself with oral herpes. My genital herpes stated 3 weeks ago and will not heal and has gone from one sore than continues to scab up and reopen to three. About a week after that I got a cold sore on the corner of my lip that is so painful I can hardly eat. Now I feel a tingling on the other end of my mouth. Both oral and genitals hurt so bad at the same time and I want to die. I hate my life. I don't see any reason to go on. I will never be loved again and I feel like my entire body is subject to pain for my entire life. All I wanted was to be married with kids and that will never happen. I am worried I will kill myself. Currently I am drinking from the time I wake up til the time I sleep. I don't know what to do. I am so scared. I live alone and haven't been able to clean and it looks like a hoarder house. I don't know what to do. I just took a bunch of sleeping pills and am drinking. I just want to end this.