IntangibleOptimist

Wow, ok, I will for sure relax on the worrying lol and thanks so much for your response it's very helpful! xx

So, I'm remembering the night I contracted this and I'm wondering if I don't have it in my mouth. When I went in to the doc he said that he could only check my genitals if I had a sore and when I did get one I went back and got tested. How would I go about finding out if I had anything in my mouth, would I have to wait for a sore or is it just a give-in considering I remember what I did that night and both my genitals and mouth were exposed? I was talking to my mom about it and she said the only reason I contracted genital herpes was because I shaved cause i know he wasn't having an outbreak I didn't see anything and had a good look. So I guess that it's possible that I don't have it in my mouth because I didn't have an open cut? Is that possible? I'm just wondering how I would go about finding out, just to avoid another ER bill if possible. I'm also wondering because I'm assuming if they did a blood test or something it would come up positive due to the fact that I've already tested positive for genital herpes. Okay, I'm just ranting now... any advice would be appreciated.

"Don't be distracted by criticism. Remember: The only taste of success some people have is when they take a bite out of you." "Ones best success comes after their greatest disappointments." "My past has not defined me, destroyed me, deterred me, or defeated me; it has only strengthened me."

So, I am also looking for an h-buddy. I found out five days ago and the closest support group is an hour and a half away. male or female, either would be great. I don't know what's wrong with me because I've cried a couple times but haven't been too down on myself. I do wanna come out and tell people about this but so far my parents are the only ones who know, and obviously the guy who gave this to me. I don't feel disgusting or unattractive, I just fear judgement. I know what people say and I don't particularly enjoy being put down. It's too soon to tell anyone but I'd like to work on it. I feel like I'm a disappointment to my parents (especially my dad, although he says I'm not) and at first like my life was over, it's been tough enough to deal without this. Anywho, I'm 21 and live in the midwest. Location isn't a concern.