Leo

Have you ever had any signs/symptoms of herpes? How did he test positive for herpes? Was it by swab or blood test? If it was by swab with a negative blood test, it’s a recent infection. But if he tested positive by blood, then he’s had this for at least 4 months and it could very well be his first noticeable outbreak from a previous infection. When was the last time he was tested for herpes specifically prior to your relationship? With you having a negative blood test yourself, he’s being very irrational by pointing the finger at you right now. It doesn’t sound likely to me that he caught this from you.

@iwillbeok how long did it take for you to test positive via blood?

@mstanya1234 at how many weeks did you test negative via blood?

It’s been a while. And I figured it was time I share an update. Though, I embarrassingly admit that today, I am just as lost as I was the day I wrote my original post. At the time of my post, I was awaiting paper confirmation of my diagnosis - which to me felt so pointless...another bruise adding insult to injury. I would have 1000% bet my life savings on the reality of a life with herpes being my fate. Why was the paper necessary? The doctor at the urgent care clinic I tearfully went into that week also strongly suspected herpes. She said “this is an open sore, there is nothing here to lance. This could be herpes. We need to give you a test.” Again, I seemed textbook. I am insanely in tune with my own body. I’m scientific by nature and to me, all facts pointed straight to herpes. The only thing she questioned was the fact that I had a single sore, and not a cluster of blisters. She told me, and of course after all my own research I also know, that it’s possible for your first outbreak to be a single sore, but it’s not the most common scenario. (Especially if you already have hsv 1, which I do orally, I’ve had it for many years) We all know of course that with herpes, no two cases tend to be the same. So again, I questioned why “this paper confirmation” was necessary. I knew I was positive. The doctor did not do a swab. Instead, she ordered an IGG blood test. At the time of the test, it had been 17 weeks since the last time I had sex. More than 4 months post possible exposure. More than enough time, according to all the experts, for a conclusive diagnosis. The day after I wrote my initial post, I received my results...I tested negative for HSV 2. I would be lying if I said I didn’t cry out loud with relief. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel silly and stupid for making my post to you guys without having “those paper results.” I would be lying if I said I didn’t immediately celebrate with drinks all the while doing the sign of the cross and promising god that I would make smarter decisions and commit to abstinence in light of all of this...I told myself I learned a valuable lesson here. And then, exactly a month later, another bump popped up. And turned into an open sore. It mimicked the exact scenario as the first bump, though the location was different, and it’s now been two months and it’s left a hard bump in its place. I’m not sure if the bump is a scar, or if it’s a cyst under the skin. All I know is that it’s left me right where I was in the beginning. I’m questioning everything. And I truly, today, have no idea whether or not I have genital herpes. I’ve convinced myself that maybe my test was a false negative. That maybe, just maybe, I’m that 5% that the test misses. Am I crazy? Because I feel absolutely insane. I haven’t yet gone back to the doctor for further testing. I’m honestly scared to. I haven’t been dating or having sex, but I’ve been self monitoring, trying to see if another bump might pop up again, so that I can get a swab and conclusive diagnosis. I questioned whether or not I could also have hsv 1 genitally along with orally, but everything I’ve read from Terri Warren suggests that’s nearly impossible. Plus, my antibody count for hsv 1 was 52, crazy high, so I doubt I also contracted it genitally. Has anyone else experienced anything similar? I’m beyond confused and upset by it all. I’m praying I’m truly negative, but I’m ready to face the music if I’m not. I just want to know once and for all what the truth is. Would you guys trust the IGG at 17 weeks? Or do you think further testing needs to be done? I’d now do anything for confirmation results on paper.

@regularguy Thank you so much for your beautiful, kind words. It seriously made me cry, and it was the type of encouragement I needed right now. I know this is going to be an interesting journey to say the least, and I’m hoping that I’ll be able to overcome it like I’ve handled so many other obstacles before. ❤️

29, female. Living in Miami. Recently diagnosed with HSV2. It’s been a rough week to say the least. I’ve cried so much I’m surprised my body can still produce tears. In what feels like the blink of an eye, I’ve transformed from this once vivacious, independent, successful woman, to a shell of the person I feel I used to be. I’ve always been outgoing — true “Leo” personality. The girl who had a million friends, was always the one to provide a shoulder to lean on and all the advice in the world, and super successful in my career at such a young age. Admittedly, I was a force to be reckoned with— a true perfectionist who never settled for less. And here I am now feeling as though I’ve lost everything. I’ve become a “victim” to an arbitrary stigma—a stigma that while I know is unfair after I’ve researched all the facts, etc., is still a stigma none-the-less that isn’t showing any evidence of disappearing. (despite wonderful efforts I’ve witnessed from this community alone.) It still HURTS. And sucks. I’M NOT THIS PERSON. I don’t recognize myself right now. I need to get out of my bed of self-loathing, but I can’t. I don’t want this to be my reality. I don’t want to admit it. I keep praying that this is a dream I’m going to wake up from. As I type this I realize how dramatic it sounds, but this wasn’t supposed to happen to me! These weren’t supposed to be the cards dealt to me. I know there are SO many worse things that could have happened to me, and for that I’m grateful. But I can’t help but scream at the unfairness of it all. No one deserves to be dealt an incurable virus, and in my case I’m furious that it’s the result of a rendezvous I took part in, in order to “get over” a douchebag ex of mine who did me so wrong. If anyone deserves this HE DOES. Why did it have to happen to me?? I’m lucky to have supportive friends and family in my corner, and I’ve been using them as a sounding board as much as I can. But as soon as I’m alone with my own thoughts, I completely break down. I’ll have bursts of moments where I feel like I may be able to stay positive, and navigate this disease and the rest of my life with confidence, but then I’ll hear a story of how another close friend of mine is engaged and moving forward with a happy life, and I can’t help but be fearful that I’ve now caused my life to stand completely still. I’m terrified at the thought of the day I decide to re-enter the dating scene —a scene I used to own. My friends would always joke that I needed to write a book detailing all of my crazy stories and encounters over the years, and now it looks as though this new chapter should be the book’s forward — a warning that we’re not invincible, and that you shouldn’t be so trusting of those you don’t know so well. It’s an awful realization to come to terms with. Vulnerability has never been a friend of mine, and now I need to figure out how to befriend it and utilize it to my advantage. Sharing something so intimate about myself scares the shit out of me. I can’t help but wonder if I’m still going to be desirable. If I’m going to be “worth the risk,” no matter how small, to someone I’m getting to know. I’m afraid my personality and charm can only get me so far. The dating world is scary enough. Throw in the fact that I live in Miami, where the Bumble game runs rampant. There’s so much “opportunity” here when it comes to dating, and I’m heartbroken at the thought that I may be considered damaged goods. The idea that there are great people out there who may love me regardless is not lost on me, but this isn’t an obstacle I want to climb. I know I’m an amazing catch despite “this,” but the fact that I now have to test that truth with thick skin and an optimistic heart is terrifying. I miss the girl I used to be. That fearless girl. Right now it feels as though she’s gone for good, and I never thought it was truly possible to attend your own funeral.