Hello all!
A little backstory... I was diagnosed back in January and hearing that diagnosis really hit me hard, as I'm sure it did with most of you. I went through the hard feelings towards myself and not knowing what to do. I poured my energy into working out and that has gotten my mind off of it but recently it's been nagging at me at the back of my mind.
So I'm asymptotic. I've never had an outbreak that I know of. I decided that I wanted to be on a suppressive therapy because I didn't want to deal with any outbreaks or shedding. I wanted it out of my mind completely.
Anyways lately I've been thinking about dating. And I just feel so torn up about it. I feel like being "casual" with someone isn't an option. I feel like I need to get to know someone for a long period of time before I even think of telling them to make sure their feelings are true for me. I am not sure this is the best way to do it. I don't want to "string" someone along if they don't like what I've told them. Or to hurt someone. Or to waste anyone's time.
I'm scared. I'm not sure at what point is best to let someone know. Or how far to let things go before I even mention it. I'm not even sure what is "okay" to do before telling anyone. If that makes sense... it feels wrong to be flirting with someone when I know I can't just go with the flow of things.
I fear rejection. Just like everyone else.
I don't even want to tell people because it's just not something that I want to be known, so the thought of disclosing terrifies me.
What techniques do you guys use when telling someone and how soon do you tell them? How far do you let things go?
I know going about it in a calm and nonchalant way is probably best. And I think me never having an outbreak and being on suppressive therapy makes it seem less bad to others? I'm not really sure.
I'm freaking out.
I guess I just consider that everyone will take it badly and no one will want to be with me. I can't get the negative thoughts out. Every time I meet someone the "you have hsv you can't do things the normal way, you need to tell them" thoughts start. I just need to put my mind at ease and I'm not sure how to do that
Please, any advice is welcome.