OregonH

My gut says this girl is malicious and selfish and these people should be punished in some form. The response of she has to live with it forever isn’t good enough, as she clearly does not feel anything more than s simple I’m sorry is good enough

Thanks for the repose. Part of the problem is that she was and is very educated on the subject. She knew she had it genitally, knew the risks and everything about having sex with people who did not. She knew what the right thing to do was and was just fearful of rejection. In my opinion, and for me, I could never being the person I am take away that choice from another person. That is why I feel she needs to learn her lesson the hard way. So does society, that it is your duty as a carrier to be upfront and honest. I have suffered nerve damage and it will affect my job for my life. I may have to change jobs due to the side affects. This is not ok. People need to know that you can’t do this.

I should also mention she had an outbreak, didn’t tell me, then told me later that she had one, after it was too late.

You both have great points. We loved each other before she admitted exposing me. She told me the real truth, and I wanted nothing more than to forgive, but sometimes I feel like I can’t forgive her for having done that with where I sit today. It’s the most selfish hurtful thing someone has done to me. I don’t like to the it’s revenge, maybe it is. However it’s still not right to do to someone, and it makes everything she did seem like a lie. Part of me wants to protect others from her wrath of sorts

I know this topic has been brought up before, and will probably continue to be, but I need a little advice or input. So this past summer I started dating who I thought was this wonderful, smart active fun woman. When we entered the bedroom we had the talk a lot of adults do, as to if we’d been tested and if we were clean. She said she was clean and had been tested as was I. Fast forward 4 months, after a lovely vacation to th coast she comes up to me and tells me she just found out she has herpes. Just got results back from a rash on her butt and she had had no idea. I’m a pretty forgiving and understanding person and I told her that I knew these things could lay dormant and unfortunately this can happen. I am understanding and tell her I should find out if I have it and that we should do some research about how to carry on our intimacy. Three days later, she doesn’t talk to me for two days which is unusual, then she stops by my house with a letter, tells me to read it and that if I want to talk to her afterwards, then she’ll be in the car. The letter boils down to that she’s known she’s had Genital herpes for 2 years. She lied to me straight faced when he had the talk, and she was the one who instigated forgoing protection eventually knowing what she carried. (By the way it’s worth noting that she wasn’t on any sort of antiviral/suppressive therapy). I read it, digested it and told her I to work through this and forgive her. I mean shit, I loved this girl. A month later, she leaves me at my door step telling me she can’t stay in the relationship and moves back to Jackson. 10 hour drive away. I’ve spoken to friends, other folks, a buddies girlfriend is the assistant district attorney in the neighboring county. Some say, oh yeah press charges, some say I should file a lawsuit some say let it go. The assistant DA said I could have her charged with class three assault. Minimum sentence is 5 years, plus being a felon for ten years, and possibly labeled as a sex offender. I don’t want money. I would like the punishment to fit the crime. What I am sick of is hearing people say man that sucks, life’s not fair, it sucks. Or yeah she’ll carry the weight of this for the rest of her life. Unfortunately I’ve had some health complications from contracting herpes, plus it will affect my job. Her guilt doesn’t seem enough, I don’t think she carries much of it as she says I apologized what more do you want?. She committed a crime, if you carry this virus it is your responsibility as a descent human to tell someone you are seeing before becoming intimate regardless of how scary it is. Plain and simple. I don’t want to harm the stigma that surrounds herpes, but society needs to know, if you carry an incurable virus, you have to disclose it to sexual partners. That is why I’m thinking of pressing charges. Also, I have overwhelming proof. Thoughts?