DoHope35

Everyone I just wanted to give an update. I’m no longer with my “boyfriend”. I found him cheating and the first thing he tried to say was he risked his life being with me because I have herpes. He told me that he’s been coughing lately and it’s because of me and my herpes and continue to precede to say what man would want me or put up with me with this disease. This completely broke me but I stayed strong in putting him out of my life. I was tired of hearing him say he’s putting his health at risk so I just ended it.

Sunset, You definitely say it best. When we’re together I stay stern on him and tell him that he needs to get tested. I know I can not make him but I think like you, he won’t put the blame on me, when he should have went like I said in the first place! I keep him on board though and I have restrictions when it comes to him because like I would say to anyone, your actions have consequences.

I think so too. I’m not sure what to say about that. I would rather he know but he wants to continue having sex without condoms and protection. It is his choice, well our choice but I rather he be safe, though I know he can still catch it that way. At least his chances would be slimmer.

Yes very strange. I told him to get tested but he said no because he doesn’t have it, but I said how do you know? He says he just knows, but no one knows until they get tested or have an OB. It’s all so complicated in an uncomplicated way.

Very good point. This makes a lot of sense. There are many people who have the herpes virus and just are not aware that they have it. I believe that it is better that I know that I have it because I would feel awful for someone else to know/ find out the way that i did.

@Lifegoesonn, I think you’re right. I believe it is a mental thing. I don’t want him to be scared by any means because as you said it is really a non issue. It’s more like an irritable skin condition. I know that he loves me but if he truly loves me as he says then he will have to accept all of me, as I am still the same person. If not as hard as it sounds he will have to move on though I do not want that to happen.

@Sunset, I glad that he wants to give it another try with you, that shows and says something about the person he is. You letting him in also ajows that you are brave enough to tell him about H even if you didn’t want to. You are right, time heals and I know that in time it also reveals many things. As for me and my relationship, it’s on the “high” for now. We’re doing well and even though I can tell in his eyes he is really concerned he will not admit it. I try to do my part in educating the both of us and finding time to explain that H does not ruin my life and it will not ruin his life either.

Hi Sunset. It is very difficult and I can totally understand the frustration and feelings of fear, and what ifs and worry. Our relationship isn’t perfect but i can say making the steps and building up the courage to just tell him is really brave of you.

Thank you Lifegoesonn. We have talked and I try to educate him as well as myself little by little because I do not want him to become overwhelmed or feel like there is so much pressure on him. As of right now we’re okay. He says he doesn’t want to get tested because he doesn’t have it but I’m very concerned about giving it to him especially since we still have unprotected sex even after he found out. I think he’s concerned and worried a bit because he communicated to me that he loves me and wants to be with me but he’s scared.

I think the rejection was over just the thought of hearing the word herpes. He repeated over and over, “no, no this can not be true.” But yesterday he actually reached out to me for the first time since Wednesday when I broke the news. He said that herpes is new to him and he didn’t know how to react but it’s a conversation that he wants to have face to face. So let’s just say we’re just right there at the moment.

Since I’ve found out, I have been doing a lot of research and anyone that knows me knows that after awhile I will pick myself back up. I am coming to the realization of herpes and educating myself so that others can understand as well. I’m not going to say that I will always have the best of days but I’m learning that everyday will not be the worst because of herpes. I think because my boyfriend who said he “loved” me so much kind of rejected me after I told him it dampened my spirit. However, since I have been looking deeper into the facts of herpes I have decided to approach the issue once more later this week. If he rejects me again that is okay. I’ll probably be hurt but in due time I WILL heal.

Hello, I just found out on Valentine’s Day that I have both HSV 1 & 2. I am so confused and depressed. I haven’t seen many people with both and I’m just trying to get an understanding of it. Is it worse to have both? Where do i go from here.