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  1. (Newly diagnosed) I met this boy, we did instantly click, and he was going away with work for a long time so we moved quite quickly and we slept together three times on the Wednesday, twice on the Friday (unprotected). He then left Saturday and on Saturday night I was told to go to hospital by 111 because they thought I had a kidney infection, I had previously had a kidney infection however and it didn’t quite feel the same, I just knew at this point this was sexual health and went to the gum clinic two days later. They said it looked like herpes and I had been checked before this guy.. thinking about it now though 1) he kept religiously downing smoothies for immune systems and said to me it was for his skin, but he has beautiful mixed Caribbean skin and so now I know why 2) he told me he occasionally does weed and it is good for medicine, and that I needed to accept him for him.. again reading online now I know why 3) we are still in touch and with the view of dating and he casually asked me on the phone from abroad if I was sore from sex (we had 5 days previously) because I mentioned whilst we were having sex the Friday it was starting to get a little sore.. but I think this was to check whether I was showing any symptoms He knew he had herpes, and he did not tell me and had sex with me 5 times unprotected. I’m guessing by this behaviour that this is a fairly new diagnosis for him and he didn’t feel comfortable to discuss this but I am now left heartbroken and completely on my own because he is also away for months. I have had very few sexual partners in my life just come out of a long term relationship at 23, I rarely drink, I have never smoked or done anything reckless, I have terrible anxiety and I am scared of everything, and now I am alone trying to deal with this and process this and that is almost blocking out the actual physical pain. I am so stressed I have lost over a stone in a week, I am a size 4, isolated myself from my family and friends. And then when he calls me in the evenings after work I sit and chat to him and laugh with him because I feel that is the only normality I have left, he has it too I’m not alone. I haven’t told him I have caught it yet.. I feel like I have been robbed from ever mending things with an ex of mine now, he would never ever get back with me because he has a phobia of medical conditions due to experiencing the loss of a sibling at the age of 9.. I was with him 4 years. Literally picturing his face now is painful. It makes me feel sick I can’t even bring myself to leave the house to get my nails done, yes physically this is very painful,but emotionally I can’t even explain, I feel like I am mourning my previous life, my ex of 4 years, a normal childbirth, normal dating, sunbathing, all at once on my own in secret. One of my favourite things was buying beautiful sets of underwear but now I just feel disgusting looking at them and they don’t even fit anymore anyway can anybody talk to me or make me feel any better
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