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I started dating a guy a few weeks ago. Earlier in the night, prior to having sex he confessed he had had a mouth sore and didn't know what it was so he consulted his dentist, who told him simply he has herpes. And then he added he doesn't have genital herpes. Later that night we started to have sex and I chickened out on my own status (HSV II - more details in other posts). It wasn't until a week later, when he was supposed to come visit me, that I finally was able to confess. But my question/issue isn't about the disclosing per se. It's after the fact. I told him he should go get tested immediately to confirm he doesn't already have it and then again later (whenever his doctor recommends, as it seems there are varying time frames to wait for the antibodies to build up). He resisted/denied my request for getting tested right away, claiming he had already been tested for EVERYTHING, including HSV. But now, a day later, I'm wondering why his story doesn't seem to jive. He claims he recently had a mysterious mouth sore, and that his dentist (visually) diagnosed it as herpes (more obivously type I). So how could he claim he was surprised by this recent symptoms/diagnosis, when he claims he had already been tested for it. He would've come up positive already for at least Type I, no? The mouth sore shouldn't have been a surprise to him, unless he was just making out with someone and somehow got it that way, I suppose. Either way, I'd like to insist he get tested right away, in addition to waiting later. That way we could be sure he doesn't already have it. MY MAIN QUESTION IS: Is that weird of me to ask/insist of him to take a test now? He seemed comfortable taking my word for it that my last test results came back negative for other STIs. But I'd be willing to take it again if he asked/insisted, in fact I plan to anyway. I'd just really like to clear that possibility out right away, so we won't have to wait unnecessarily another 45+ days for a diagnosis.

Hello and thank you for the help (M, 36). Im here today because I called out of work due to stress about herpes. This has been an emotional month. I want to share my story for support and feedback. Im very down and drained. Anxiety is killing me mentally and physically. On 8/7 I kissed and received oral from a woman who claims she is clean and has been tested in june. The weeks prior to this I had been having a lot of sex and masterbation. The months prior to this encounter I noticed I had trouble starting to urinate and it would take a while to start. I noticed my penis was soar and my sperm looked different (thick) 1.5 weeks prior to this encounter. Anyway about a week or so after this encounter I began to have a constant burning in my penis, my scrotum was red, and burning in my prostate area. I immediately implanted in my mind it was herpes and it was all i could think about. I was hoping it was a UTI and dealt with it for about 10 days before seeing the doctor. It burned every day all day and night.It seemed like my penis was shriveled and my libedo was zero. Small erections when i would first wake up. I went to the doctor and told her what happened. I showed her my penis and she couldn't see any soars. She took some blood and had me tested. I went home that day distraught. I noticed 3 small white bumps on the inside of my lip that same evening. That freaked me out too. The bumps did not tingle or burn and disappeared in 2 days. No blisters, soars, or scabbing. (Please let me know what you think of the bumps). That was odd and a real curveball. The lab work was done on a Thursday and the doctor was closed friday. It was labor day weekend and i was told i wouldn't find out the results until Tuesday. That weekend was hell. Every second of every day was a nightmare. I called the doctor on Tuesday and was told she had left for a personal issue and to call the next day. Doctor called me back and said IGG was negative but ImG was reactive. I panicked. She told me vaguely about the Img test how it doesn't say much but I have had a recent exposure. I told her about the constant burning in my privates still and she prescribed 1gram of Valtrex for 10 days. I was and am crushed as a person. I would go to work, barely make it through, and go straight home. I would anxiously await until 730pm when i would take the valtrex and tylenol PM. I would then sit in the shower with hot hot water pouring on me. Felt like the only relief i would get is in the shower. I started to noticed a tingling sensation shooting around my face and right eye. It felt weird and produced even more anxiety. My tongue was very dry and i noticed a irritated area on the side of my tongue that is oval in shape and red. This freaked me out as well. 6 days on valtrex and no relief. On the 6th day after diagnosis my doctor called my phone at 6:00pm. I missed the call and she left a message for me to call the office in the am. I thought that was odd as it was so late. Maybe she wanted to call to check in? I called the next day and spoke to the office. The woman i spoke to said this "We got new lab work back for your HSV test and the results are negative". I couldn't believe it and still don't. I asked if I should stop the valtrex and they said yes. I was emotional and I heard the doctor in background say "He has nothing to worry about". This still did not provide comfort as i have researched this virus. I told them about the burning and they want me to go to a urologist. I'm so confused and broken. I was told i have herpes and was given valtrex. What test did they get back six days later? Im so lost and depressed. Staring at my body waiting for soars or blisters to come that never do or haven't yet. The tongue thing, the tingling in my face, the racing consuming thoughts of having this condition then being told you don't. I deep down don't believe them. Thank you in advance as i really need help from the H community on this forum. This forum is probably one of the only things keeping me from complete shut down and loss of life as i knew it i.e job, friends, interests....Thank you.

Hello everyone let me start of by saying thank you for your answers as this is a confusing and difficult time for me. well I was on holiday and met a nice girl (random) we enjoyed each other’s company and had a fun night. Later when I got back home I noticed my lips getting dry and tingling I immediately thought the worst just to let you know used a condom but also performed oral sex, thus the doubt .... anyways once this thought creeped in as it does I started to read a lot and actually got quite confused with all the information out there, so finally after about 2 weeks I went to a doctor and got checked and also got all the testing for stds. Well actaully since i was not convinced and my mind racing with negative thoughts I went and consulted another doctor again he said all is fine but this time I also insisted on pcr herpes test (still awaiting the results) by the way all the other test results are fine no problems there . finally since I was still paranoid I thought too visit another doctor, now keep in mind that the first two doctors gave me a clean bill of health and both throughly checked me. When I visit the 3rd doctor ( I live in a country where I’m still learning dont speak the language fluently) he asked me a few questions and I explained I had visited two other doctors but still wanted a 3rd opinion ... so he asked what I was worried about and I said herpes ... he looked at me looked in my mouth for less then a few seconds and said I have herpes in my throat ... I could not believe it. He then prescribed me valaciclovir and said I’ll be fine. When I asked him is he sure he said he had experience in this field and knew for sure, on top of that he charge me extra for the consultation saying I can not be recovered by my health insurance for his visit. So now since you my story I have a few questions 1) should I take his word seriously ? ( I’m still gonna wait for the pcr results which should come in a few days ) 2) has anyone suffered from oral heroes in the throat ? 3 ) how long will it take in case I actually do have it for things to clear up ? 4) since the 3rd doctors diagnosis I feel a bit of irritation in my throat (perhaps a placebo effect) what do you’ll think? 5) should I begin the medication of valaciclovir right now or wait for the pcr test result ? 6) as I’ve been on homeopathy medicine all my life I’m not used to such strong dosages ... so really not sure if to start and how many times to take it per day? 7)are there any other home remedies besides this strong dosage ? 8)even if I do have herpes (if the pcr test confirms) is it possible to let it just heal on its own if it will not hurt me too much ? Finally besides the early tingling and dry lips I have not had any other symptoms (except this little irritation in my throat now) . Been 17 days so far since my episode with the girl im sorry for such a long post but I really do not know who else to turn to and this is affect my mental health with all these different diagnosis by the doctors. thanks again for reading and hope for you can help me out.

So, approximately three weeks ago, I had the bomb dropped on my life that I had tested positive for HSV-2. You can read the whole story in my initial post on the forum (https://forums.herpesopportunity.com/topic/8389-just-found-out-and-now-it-feels-like-everything-is-falling-apart/). But, suffice to say, my whole world crumbled. I lost the girl of my dreams and thought that my life was over. I left for a family vacation to Hawaii the day after all of this happened and could barely convince myself to get out of bed at times, unless it was to get a drink. Then, just the other day, another bomb was dropped into my life. I got a call from the clinic and they said that, apparently, an abnormal amount of labs from that day came back positive. They wanted me to come back in for another test, which I did immediately after receiving the call. I just got my results today and, as it turns out, I tested negative. I've never been so overjoyed along with simultaneously depressed and furious. My life has, to some extent, been inexorably altered because this lab completely f**ked up and took three weeks to figure it out. I can't change that my dream girl has moved on to someone else. I can't take back all the awkward and embarrassing phone calls and texts I had to make to exes. I can't take back the past three weeks of intense pain and depression. All of it has happened and I can't change any of it. I'm not writing this to give anyone unwarranted hope that their diagnosis may change. I'm just writing because I well understand the devastating effect that this news can have on someone's life. And I want to say that, even though I tested negative, I'm going to be keeping my account on this forum and am willing to be an ear, a shoulder, a friend... whatever y'all need. If you're in the SoCal/LA area and need someone to grab a beer with and just vent to, I'm here.

Hello Everyone, I am new to the site and have found it very helpful. I have never joined an online group like this before and am a little nervous about having a "voice" in this sub-culture of HSV-2 diagnosed people. I was diagnosed in 2006 and have spent countless hours of research online and talking to my doctors. I just recently started dating again after a break-up, it took about six months for me to get back out in the dating world. I met someone, and a couple of weeks into it, I told him about my diagnosis. The only physical contact we were having was an occasional kiss and a hug towards the end of one of our dates. Of course, telling someone about herpes is difficult, but I wanted to be honest with him from an early point. He said he was shocked, but we could work through it. I haven't heard from him since. It is quite embarrassing. Even after all these years, the rejection is still painful. We had known each other from grade school, but had met again online on a dating site. I am curious to know if it is considered okay to date on sites other than STD sites? Is it ethical?

no